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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
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OP
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vs
Woke up to another empty day
Time stopped when you went away
For all those years it was me and you
Now you're gone and I don't know what to do
vs
I look around and I see your face
Memories of you fill every space
Really should throw your stuff away
Maybe if I keep it you'll come back someday
p/c
I still can't believe you're gone
Don't know where it all went wrong
Chorus:
Now all I have are dreams
My favourite bedroom scenes
Us walking down the aisle
First baby, perfect smile
First time we had a home
Last time we'd be alone
And it all went as planned
'til we reached the promised land
vs
Should break my heart but you've taken it
Piece by piece girl bit by bit
All that's left is emptiness
For the rest of my life I guess
vs
In the distance I see the lights
Guiding me through my darkest nights
Is it love that awaits me there
Or a black hole filled with despair
p/c
I still can't believe you're gone
I don't know where it all went wrong
Chorus:
And all I have are dreams
My favourite bedroom scenes
Us walking down the aisle
First baby, perfect smile
First house we called a home
Last time we'd be alone
And it all went as planned
'til we reached the promised land
Last edited by joewatt; 03/24/14 09:02 AM.
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Joe,
Lovely write! I like how the "promised land" leaves us wondering if she died or just left him.
Lisa
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Hey Lisa
Thanks, glad you liked it. The way I see it she left him.
Peace
Joe
Last edited by joewatt; 03/15/14 09:16 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Hey Lisa
Thanks, glad you liked it. The way I see it she left him.
Peace
Joe
I felt like she left him. That's what women do.
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Women die, too, Jim!
It might SEEM like we're too mean to die, but we do!
LOL!
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Hey Jim/Lisa
The way I see it is they were both poor and worked their way up from that to being well off, but when they were comfortably off they found they had very little in common other than their background. So they drifted apart.
Peace
Joe
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Joe,
this is reality man. Lead us to escape into an idealistic existence for 3 minutes. A reason to shut out reality for a while and enjoy a daydream.
there is nothing wrong with a song delivering exactly what the title suggests.
no nits with the writing at all.
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Hey John
Thanks for your reply. I'm glad you enjoyed the song.
Peace
Joe
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Catchy and beautiful.
Dennis
Dennis Wright
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Joe,
just throwing a little challenge at you because I think you're up to it.
Like Paul Simon said "...makes you think all the world's a summer day..."
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Hey John
Sorry to say I've failed your challenge miserably. I have no idea what you're talking about??
Cheers
Joe
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Good story Joe it happens too many times, lovers stick together through all sorts of hardships and crisis then when they finally get back on their feet they become bored and complacent.Better being poor and together sometimes.
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hey Dennis
Thanks for your very kind words.
Peace
Joe
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Hey Travis
Nice to hear from you again. You've got the story of the lyric completely right, glad you enjoyed it.
Cheers
Joe
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Nice! Good somber lyric full of longing and feeling. Dang Joe, you've been putting out some real goodies. I can really relate and empathize with the singer on this. Kudos
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Hey James
Thanks. Nice to know you think I'm writing some good stuff. Glad you liked this one too.
Peace
Joe
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Posts: 12
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
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There's a great rhythm to the lyrics. The rhyming scheme works really well and actually tells a story. A lot of the time lyricists can get too focused on trying to rhyme.
I love the dark, tragic tale.
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Hey jjules
I appreciate your kind words. I've often been accused of forcing rhymes but it's something I've never done. Glad you liked it.
Cheers
Joe
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