Who's Online Now
10 members (couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,251 guests, and 265 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
http://soundcloud.com/steady-eddie

I posted this song almost a year ago, but finally did get around to finishing it. I was a little unsure of what further direction to take it. I want to thank Colin Ward for his recent additions of both electric guitar and lap steel electric guitar along with a bass track.

The only major change that I made from the original post besides these new track additions, was to use the more lifted keyed chorus both times as the lower key original 1st.chorus IMO, didn't lift well enough--and some hand claps near ending.



St. Simons Island I Have Found -- music/lyrics by: eswartz


It was the summer of 73',
I said goodbye to friends and my family
Self assured, at twenty-one; I left Michigan for the Georgia sun
Sit'n shotgun by my side, my best friend came along for the ride
I had a job there waitin’ for me, working as a tech in Opticianry

Chorus:

St. Simon's Island, I have found
You're the best kept secret on the Georgia Sound
White beaches and marshland, as far as the eye can see,
St. Simon's Island, I have found

Southern Rock ruled the radio;
"The Allman Brothers" were, a favorite you know
"Poor Steven's" pub served shrimp and beer,
a jukebox play'n oldies from yesteryear

Hippies, Crackers, and professional Geeks,
we all came together at the end of the week
Whether get'n stoned, or groov'n in the sand,
good times always seemed, to be at hand

Chorus: (repeat)

The Island's covered with Live Oak trees,
Spanish moss a wavin' in the coastal breeze
Gazing out from the pier on a moonlit beach,
holding on to the hand of a Georgia peach

(Short lap/steel-solo -- (b-grnd vox - "shoes")-Chorus melody

The shrimp boats head north, toward Sapelo,
a little further south, lies Jekyll in tow
Now have you ever seen, an Ocean sunrise;
well it’s like watching God open up His eyes

I moved back North a long time ago,
now every Winter I’m out shovel'n snow
But when I close my eyes, I smell Magnolia blooms,
and the salt briny air, the ocean's perfume

End - over-lapping tag:

(Get a little sand in your shoes, and you'll be back! smile

(Inst. outro --(b-grnd vox -"shoes")-Chorus melody fade)

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Hey Eddie,

That lap steel sounds incredible. It really brought this tune to an even higher level. Bass sounds good too. Really helps. The mix is fantastic. I'd say this is done. Nice job.

Dave


Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 623
B
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
B
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 623
Fantastic arrangement and I agree completely with Dave that the lap steel is extraordinary and gives the song a unique identity. The vocal is also very good and provides just the right emotional rendering of the song. You tell a great story here Eddie with lots of rich details and diversity. Not sure what an "Opticianry" is and might suggest changing that line a bit but this is a wonderful song and I'm impressed with what you've done with it. The ending was an especially nice musical change that was unexpected and playful. Very nice work.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Dave,


Thanks much for your thoughts and ears--also with the one line that I changed with your suggestion!

steady-eddie.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Bobby,

Thanks much for your kind thoughts.

You are right about the one word "Opticiany." It is a little awkward and not a common word I suppose. That's what I was back then--an Optician, hence part of the story. I do agree with you, I probably should think about a substitute word that rhymes--I'm just not sure I can since it's so biographical in that opening verse--maybe I'm just too darn sentimental!

An Optician fits eyeglasses--Opticianry is his/her profession. A Dentist works on teeth--Denistry is his/her profession.

(When I left your song post, I realized we were both writing at the same time on each other's song)!

steady-eddie.


Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
WOW---GREAT JOB guys !!

Loved it all but the ending was real special !!

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
I think the word opticianry is awkward and unknown to most listeners. It may be important to you to make the song historically accurate, but for a universal audience, I would just say "industry".


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
Good & tight sound on this Eddie.
You might try to lose a word in these two lines to lose the staccato effect:

Sit'n shotgun by my side, my best friend - along for the ride
and;
The shrimp boats head - toward Sapelo

But then maybe that's the effect you wanted.

You're sounding like the Bee Gees.
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Calvin,

Thanks much, glad you were digging the ending. Part of my idea with this song was to use crude percussion as I did use real spoons for a tambo effect, a real antique wash-board snare, and home shaker with bb's. The claps were added to for the same reason. There used to be this band on SSI back in the early 70's perform in this small night club that used these type effects--and I wanted to utilize those effects especially with this song personally for that reason, and I thought it would be cool as well.

steady-eddie.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Hey Colin!

I hear you on that word, I'll have to think a bit on that change, and I'm unlikely to change anything at this point. I do agree that it may not be understood by most, but don't feel that it is "key" or essential for getting the theme of this song by not knowing that one word--if Carly Simon can use gavotte, I think I can cleverly get away with Opticianry. I'd also have to use an adjective with "industry,"--no time--and the word seems a bit too general if used with no adjective for such a personal song to me. I'm sure there may be a better way however and will give it some thought, but I kind of like it as is, but no question the word seems normal to me by virtue of my background.

Thanks for your fine guitar work within this song!

steady-eddie.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Thanks Vic!

Good to hear from you. I tried singing that first line as you say, and for me, I like the "one more" syllable better. I played around with this line quite a bit in the early stages. I tend to like having a fair amount of syllables with lyrics as today's current trend is to do this much more--as long as they fit. I don't feel that I'm chanting staccato, but am getting through the lines quickly--and do try to add some conviction with my vocals for sure--I'm certainly not a pro!

Sapelo Island lies two islands north of St. Simons Isl. which by losing the word "north" it would then with the next line insinuate that Sapelo is south of SSI, and Jekyll Island is even further south, as Jekyll is just due south of SSI. I have to keep the geography in order! Their would be a slight "prosody" improvement with your sug there however--a "give and take" there for me.

Thanks much for your listen and comments!

steady-eddie.

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,412
R
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
R
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,412
Well, Steady Eddie,
You have a really good song here and nailed the area pretty well. So happens I am headed to SSI a few minutes from now. My barber works over there. You wouldn't know St. Simons Island today if you haven't been here for a while. Keep writing!

P.S. The Young Golfer who won the Honda Classic lives on SSI. It seems the secret is out!


Ray E. Strode
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Hi Eddie,

I loved it back when you first posted it and it's even better now! Great job, Colin, too!

By the way...I don't know if I ever mentioned this...when you first posted this, I sent it to a friend, because she was on her way down to Florida and was looking for places to stop with her family. Because of your song, her family stopped at St. Simon's Island and spent a lovely few hours, she said!

Lisa


Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Originally Posted by E Swartz
http://soundcloud.com/steady-eddie

I posted this song almost a year ago, but finally did get around to finishing it. I was a little unsure of what further direction to take it. I want to thank Colin Ward for his recent additions of both electric guitar and lap steel electric guitar along with a bass track.

The only major change that I made from the original post besides these new track additions, was to use the more lifted keyed chorus both times as the lower key original 1st.chorus IMO, didn't lift well enough--and some hand claps near ending.



St. Simons Island I Have Found -- music/lyrics by: eswartz


It was the summer of 73',
I said goodbye to friends and my family
Self assured, at twenty-one; I left Michigan for the Georgia sun
Sit'n shotgun by my side, my best friend came along for the ride
I had a job there waitin’ for me, working as a tech in Opticianry
I feel the word opticianry is not working at all nor the information in that line, sounds too documentary to me...maybe make it a bit more colorful there, something like, blew our money on ... and ....not a care in the world..cause I had a job waiting for me...to show the way 21 year old might would be, blowing money on frivolous things...the opticianry will lose people when it is coming into the chorus because they will be thinking, what was that and what is that.. I know you may want to be accurate but surely on the adventure there you blew money on something or stopped by to see something along the way that could be kind of fun to disclose to us...just my honest opinion..kos as they say
Chorus:

St. Simon's Island, I have found
You're the best kept secret on the Georgia Sound
White beaches and marshland, as far as the eye can see,
St. Simon's Island, I have found

Southern Rock ruled the radio;
"The Allman Brothers" were, a favorite you know
"Poor Steven's" pub served shrimp and beer,
a jukebox play'n oldies from yesteryear--this is more colorful as I was saying I felt line 4 in first verse could be..

Hippies, Crackers, and professional Geeks,
we all came together at the end of the week
Whether get'n stoned, or groov'n in the sand,
good times always seemed, to be at hand--maybe could stand to be a bit more colorful on this line...what did you do for the good times? just a thought but not a biggie, not like in verse one..so it can work here..

Chorus: (repeat)

The Island's covered with Live Oak trees,
Spanish moss a wavin' in the coastal breeze
Gazing out from the pier on a moonlit beach,
holding on to the hand of a Georgia peach

(Short lap/steel-solo -- (b-grnd vox - "shoes")-Chorus melody

The shrimp boats head north, toward Sapelo,
a little further south, lies Jekyll in tow
Now have you ever seen, an Ocean sunrise;
well it’s like watching God open up His eyes-not real clear on there, of the God opening HIS eyes..I am figuring it is probably a play on words and trying to be different..but it is not describing it for me because one has no clue what God would look like opening his eyes- I feel it would be more relatable saying, it feels like the first time God opens your eyes?

I moved back North a long time ago,
now every Winter I’m out shovel'n snow
But when I close my eyes, I smell Magnolia blooms,
and the salt briny air, the ocean's perfume- I like that line about ocean's perfume..nice!

End - over-lapping tag:

(Get a little sand in your shoes, and you'll be back! smile

(Inst. outro --(b-grnd vox -"shoes")-Chorus melody fade)


I know you say you are done with this and that is fine, but I also know you Ed... ;)After doing a collab. with you and sometimes your last time comes a few times.. laugh so in case you decide to make any changes further I am offering my take on it but its a nice song..catchy. I enjoyed it and I can tell a lot of work went into it with you and Colin.

Kimberly


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Hey Ray!

Thanks for checking out the finished version. I've had a few folks holler at me from SSI (or being from there) the last couple of days--I also posted on the SSI FB website.

Wish I could take a walk on the beach (yesterday) I hear it was nice there then, but rainy today!

steady-eddie.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Hi Lisa,

Thanks for your kind words!

steady-eddie

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Ok Kim..........and Bobby...........and Colin.........,

I know you guys are really right about the word Opticianry, but this song was written with "medical professionals" in mind! "No," you say, how about I'm tired of this song and want to move on? Ok, you won't buy that either? Hmmm, how about this:

"Georgia bound and feelin' free, I had a job there waitn' for me"

or:

"Georgia bound and feelin' free, a bran new life there waitn'for me"

(If I made this change, I might change the earlier "Georgia sun to "southern sun"--maybe not. Just to not repeat that word twice.

steady-eddie.


Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Ok Kim..........and Bobby...........and Colin.........,

I know you guys are really right about the word Opticianry, but this song was written with "medical professionals" in mind! "No," you say, how about I'm tired of this song and want to move on? Ok, you won't buy that either? Hmmm, how about this:

"Georgia bound and feelin' free, I had a job there waitn' for me"

or:

"Georgia bound and feelin' free, a bran new life there waitn'for me"

(If I made this change, I might change the earlier "Georgia sun to "southern sun"--maybe not. Just to not repeat that word twice.

steady-eddie.


"Georgia bound and feelin' free, a bran (D) new life there waitn'for me" or was waitin' for me) I think this fits it well because he not only left for a job, he left (or you left) I suppose for changes in life, weather etc...not just to get a specific job...and changing it to southern sun will be good I think...:) UNLESS those "medical professionals" the song is for, ahem... are again't the Southern sun, which I doubt since my doc is always on a vacay somewhere warm and sunny every time I turn around...:)

Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Yeah I remember this one, Eddie. Man, it has come along brilliantly.
Nice vocals and the mix seems just perfect.

Colin worked some real magic with his additions. Nothings over powering, just well crafted.

Congrats


Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
B
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Great listen, Eddie. The only thing I might add is that at the end of the chorus I was listening for a rhyme with "see" instead of "found"

Bill


Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
What a nice smooth sound Eddie,fine production!Forget the "eye-word",i didn't care for "cracker",i know it's slang for white boys like me but it didn't fit well with "hippies and geeks" to me,maybe beach bums or the sort would work better.Enjoyed it as it sings a beautiful picture of the good ol south!Mike

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Nelson,

Thanks much! It's always a plus having Colin's guitar in any song. I'm glad you felt as you did, as that was exactly what I was trying to achieve in balance with this nostalgic song.

Bill,

Always appreciate your comments. The chorus really initially wasn't designed for rhyme like the verses. But I really wanted to use the word "Sound" (It happened to rhyme) as a synonym for large ocean bay or inlet. The last phrase is a repeat tag line, so I wouldn't dare change that as it reflects the title theme. Thanks much!



Mike,

let's talk about "Cracker vs. Beach bum." When I used to frequent "Poor Steven's Pub at SSI," what I thought remarkable was the mixture of "tie guys, blue blood/blue collars, and hippies." I don't like using the word "red necks," that seems more derogatory for blue collars, (blue collar is really a more northern factory worker term actually). In this period when I lived there, the word "cracker" was used often, and not condescendingly. Beach bums were drinking on the beach, not at Poor Stephens. I felt that this was the best way for me to paint the picture, and painting it accurately for the period and place.

The term "Cracker" is a very old term given to Georgia overseers that were hired to go to Fla. in the early 1800's to oversee slaves working in the orchards etc. They were called "crackers" because they carried whips and would "crack" them at slaves that they felt weren't working fast enough. The term "Georgia Cracker" has remained and eventually was a slang word for rural Georgia men, then later became a term similar to "red-neck."

"Red Neck," is a West Virginia term originally given to early rebels that were fighting to get the coal mining companies to unionize in the early 1900's. They wore red bandanas around their necks to recognize one another in the woods so as not to shoot each other when fighting with "non-labor union" defenders. Just like "Cracker" the term stuck and is still used today. I don't use the term however generally speaking, as I feel it is still condescending.

Mike--Thanks!

steady-eddie.


Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Hi Eddie,

What a great flashback into those wonderful times gone past.

You really took me on a trip to a world I couldn't imagine and I enjoyed it.

No nits from me and I even liked the word 'Opticianry. The only word that came to mind as a possible alternative, because of the location and wonderful picture you painted was 'oceanography'.

Just a thought.

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 614
R&M Offline
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 614
Good atmosphere and the mix turned out nice.

Do you do slide guitar? I heard a slight hint of that in the picking.

I don't use software outside of audacity and .wav. But I would like some nicely mixed recordings within that and am looking a bit beyond that even. Your mix sounded top of the line.

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
I remember this one, you certainly have a super smooth production going on here. Mighty fine performance. My folks used to go there all the time as a stopover on the NY to FLA to NY trek and then continued it even as they moved to Florida. They always loved it. I've never been there (yet). Good singing and that lap steel sounds excellent. Good one, for sure. The vocal is mixed just right for me. The claps are a nice addition in the little musical section change-up. Well done!


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Ya know what...just real fast as I have an appt and have to run...I am not sure why I did not pick up on the word Cracker but I am not feeling that word either and feel it can be offensive, though it may mean one thing to you, it tends to bring on harsh feelings..I remember well being called that in school when I was like in 1st and 2nd grade...

I would seriously recommend changing that to something else..

Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
oops!
sorry, eddie! I thought I was posting something to the Kiev thread on the General Forum and somehow posted it here!

LOVE THIS SONG, by the way!
Lisa

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Roy--Thanks for the spin and kind words.


R&M--Thanks for your comments, and no I played acoustic rhythm guitar, the slide & lead parts were performed by Colin Ward, a well established member here at JPF. He's awesome.



Kim--Now what! There's no doubt I suppose that some people will find offense to any slang term that is used for stereo-typing people. I'm surprised as a lyricist that you would not see that the context here isn't offensively portrayed. I can assure you that I have no social class prejudices and have worn every color of collar, and have had every color of friend in my life here on this earth.

I think "geek, beach bum, cracker, hippie, or red neck,-- any of these terms could be offensive if used in a hurtful attitude or in the wrong context. There are slang terms that are "meant" to immediately be discriminatory for sure--but I don't feel I've crossed that line. I've presented a circumstance and place where everyone socialized together which is the whole point of having the grouping mentioned in the song. The early 70's was a different world with a very liberal youth culture, and this song is reflecting that time period in part in which I'm just giving an honest depiction of that time period and it's lingo. If I change "cracker, then to be fair, I should change "geek," and "hippie." Did you notice that I'm referring to the white collars here as "geeks?" I've put them all in the same "stew."

steady-eddie.


Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22


Lisa, Your lost, I'll call Brian.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Kevin,

Thanks for taking a listen. I always enjoy the "Americana" feel I get from your songs. I tried to go for a little bit of that here. I originally planned on having some banjo within this song, but decided to keep it "smoother" as sometimes songs have a way of evolving once started.

steady-eddie.

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Don't have much to comment on this except that I REALLY enjoyed it. For me it was like a Willie Nelson/Jimmie Buffet colab smile

Very nice Eddie!


Fred Choate
Billings, Montana

http://www.reverbnation.com/fredchoatemusic

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Nice sound. The lap steel gives it that Chris Isaak I Don’t Wanna Fall in Love” feel.

You know it sounds like everyone who listens wants to find or go to St Simons Island. Maybe contact the chamber of commerce there and send them your song.. Who knows?

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 938
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 938
Hi Eddie

I really enjoyed this tune, I do agree with Vic, a bit wordy at times, chopping the melody a bit, but over all very enjoyable.

Cheers
Paul


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1016904

Complacency is failure's mentor.
Book of Paulverbs
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22

Fred,-- Thanks for your thoughts. I always enjoy your music as well! Interesting combination you mention! I've always liked Willie especially--when he sings, you know it's him.


Iggy -- I'll definitely check out that tune--thanks for listening! I plan on doing something of that sort once my CD is ready!


Paul, -- I see you have a new avatar--cool. Thanks for your comments--Cheers!

steady-eddie.


Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Roy--Thanks for the spin and kind words.


R&M--Thanks for your comments, and no I played acoustic rhythm guitar, the slide & lead parts were performed by Colin Ward, a well established member here at JPF. He's awesome.



Kim--Now what! There's no doubt I suppose that some people will find offense to any slang term that is used for stereo-typing people. I'm surprised as a lyricist that you would not see that the context here isn't offensively portrayed. I can assure you that I have no social class prejudices and have worn every color of collar, and have had every color of friend in my life here on this earth.

I think "geek, beach bum, cracker, hippie, or red neck,-- any of these terms could be offensive if used in a hurtful attitude or in the wrong context. There are slang terms that are "meant" to immediately be discriminatory for sure--but I don't feel I've crossed that line. I've presented a circumstance and place where everyone socialized together which is the whole point of having the grouping mentioned in the song. The early 70's was a different world with a very liberal youth culture, and this song is reflecting that time period in part in which I'm just giving an honest depiction of that time period and it's lingo. If I change "cracker, then to be fair, I should change "geek," and "hippie." Did you notice that I'm referring to the white collars here as "geeks?" I've put them all in the same "stew."

steady-eddie.


Ed, to me calling someone a hippie or geek is not something racially descriptive. I am not saying you feel that way I am only saying as a kid when I was called that or if I was called that now I would hear it as someone doing it as racial..but that's me, and don't NOW WHAT me... laugh I was only offering my opinion, it of course is up to you. Just trying to help.
gonna go lay back down...have a major toothache and really should be with the heating pad on my face..
Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Kim, it's ok, and I appreciate your opinion--but no one's calling condescending anybody or anything in this song. Cracker has nothing to do with "race" and is not racial term, it is a country slang "nick-name" for "good ole boy" term--it's no different than "Okey," just a different part of the country. But of course kids or adults can use those words in a context that is not kind, derogatory, or inappropriate--I'm certainly not doing that here. "White Trash" would be a "racial" term as it is meant to be hurtful and discriminatory.

What's important here is the context within the song's story. Writers write truth or fiction about circumstances, and that's what I have done here. Three different "walks of life" shared the same good times--that' all I'm saying here--where is the harm in that? Some people will always look or seek out contention with any opportunity that they can find. But as writers, we tell stories, some real, some not real for what the circumstance are at times.

It was great fun having friends from all walks of life in that time period on SSI, and most of my friends in that time period were good ole boys and hippies--they each were different--and that was cool.

steady-eddie.

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
F
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
F
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
eddie,

Kind of late getting here... been wrapped up...

I really like the production on this. Very organic. A very good mix.

A good "feel" to this - kind of Harry-Chapin-goes-island.. a nice full history in the song - and well sung.

I enjoyed it.

floyd

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,827
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,827
hey Eddie,

This song was a pleasure to listen to sonically, really nice recording.

As a song ? Yep, that's all working too.

Nits ? I think some songs work as a play through, and some don't. And this one doesn't.....

There seems to be a mis-match between the vocal phrasing and the backing. ( or no contrast ) It just doesn't sit right.

Suggs ? Either leave the backing the way it is, and re-phrase the vocal line, or alternatively spend some time on the arrangement and let the vocal line be the "drone".

I think to have everything on a flat line doesn't provide enough interest to the listener.

All the parts are there, but it just needs some depth.

Cool tune though, and one worth working on.

cheers, niteshift

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Floyd,

How goes it? That was an interesting perception Floyd about "Chapin goes Island." That's interesting as I really purposely pulled a few different influences with this song looking for some uniqueness--hadn't thought of that one though, but cool! Thanks for the spin!

steady-eddie.


Niteshift,

Thanks much, I'll consider re-doing all of the vocal tracks. Na, too much work! Niteshift, I assure you that I check and make sure that my vocal tracks are in proper alignment with established kick/bass and guitar rhythms that were properly set by a click track--though with a vox track--perfectly, no, but you don't always want perfect with vox track--you do with a kick, bass, or guitar accent for sure. I'm sure there are a few spots where prosody could be improved, but if the vox track wasn't sitting where it should, you would never say you like the song sonically--you would be way to totally distracted and the song would be a mess. I consciously write melodies that I feel do not "drag" like many old fashioned songs--(though I still like many of those songs)--and try to be more current--when doing this sometimes folks feel it is "wordy," but as long as the notes fit into a measure with a properly assigned timed note, your not being "wordy." When they don't fit, then you're "wordy." I try and be progressive and also enjoy this type of lyric/music prosody. I fully appreciate that it may not be your "cup of tea," and no question another artist may write it differently and maybe improve upon it--but this is me and what sounds good to my ears and soul, but also realize that a singing pro could do much better than I can do--I'm way beyond my prime as a singer, so the writing is what is most important to me.

I always enjoy reading your critiques online here, not always agreeing perhaps, but do much of the time, and though perhaps responding a little defensively, it is from a debating perspective only, but I will also give your suggestions serious thought. I've already changed one line of this song due to other's suggestions here on this thread, but what your asking or advocating would take much more serious thought as I feel I like the feel and the rhythm that I've created. The proof is always in the pudding, and so far the pudding isn't tasting too bad with this one!

Thank-you for your opinion and your time.

steady-eddie.






Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763
Hey Eddie, this is my third attempt to respond to your song. For some reason the site is not taking my message. Anyway, if this gets through, just wanted to say, I've always liked tis song. It reminds me of when I was a young man with all the freedom of a youth. I can smell the ocean air as I listen... And way inland. Only one nit is the metallic spoon percussion is a bit distracting. Maybe decrease it's volume 2 or 3 DBS. Great tune.
Doug


Learn all the musical rules inside and out- Then break 'em...
Grace..Peace...Love

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
"Doug,?" "Is that you?" "Can you hear me now." I think Doug Healey is trying to get through. Let down the force field.

Hey Doug!

You're in now, and I read you loud and clear. We set those spoons a little on the high side for an "Island feel." I might agree with you and bring it down and maybe take a bit less high treble off of the eq, it's on a crisp plug-in. It grew on me after a while, but I think I agree with you, I may bring it down a tad and increase the shaker a tad. Thanks man. Sorry about the force fields not letting you in and not recognizing you!

steady-eddie.

Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763
Doug Healey to Steady Eddie... Come in Steady... Lower force field and advise, over. ... Entering cyber port with permission granted... 88..90...96 ..100% telecom adjustor complete.

I think it sounds great! It always has. Love that island vibe and the slide steel is so cool. Transmission complete. .................Exiting portal................


Learn all the musical rules inside and out- Then break 'em...
Grace..Peace...Love

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313
T
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
T
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313
Eddy,

Loved the captivating story you wove. Music is a perfect match. Production and vocals are spot on. Thank you for sharing. Most memorable tune I've heard today!

Tom

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
I love the song and production and think Colin just is the icing on the cake...great stuff all around.

I'm sorry, but I agree with Kim on the word "cracker"...sadly, even if it is okay in the "70's" mindset, we are all listening with our minds, thoughts and experiences of today.. I understand what you are saying and how you are using it, I'm not arguing with you...but the average listener will hear the word and react without digging deeper. If you look up "cracker" in the urban dictionary, you will see the negative words associated with it....I do understand how you are using it and this is just my opinion.

I do love the song and production!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore





Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5