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Joined: Sep 2009
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WATCHING NETFLICK--HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT--COMMENTS WELCOME-- http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12689543 IT’S WAY TOO LATE
The Bayou’s quiet Where gators lay A mist rolls in From cross the bay
Screams heard last night Have faded away For one young girl It’s way too late.
Yes it’s too late for this runaway They found her shoes by the interstate Someone dragged her down to the swamp There she died by a cypress stump Yes it’s too late for this runaway.
SOLO
Another young life’s Been swept away What looked like love Was just foul play
Yes it’s too late for this runaway They found her shoes by the interstate Someone dragged her down in the swamp There she died by a cypress stump Yes it’s too late for this runaway.
The Bayou’s quiet Where gators lay A mist rolls in From cross the bay
Screams heard last night Have faded away For this runaway It’s way too late.Mackie
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Joined: Jul 2013
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Mackie,
Solid. A tough subject, handled very well. One of your very best.
The repeat of the opening verses at the end is very effective. Excellent write. And a prefect vocal for this. Well done!
floyd
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Floyd--
I appreciate your positive thoughts--I have to write the sad ones to get them outta my mind--Been watching too many sad ones I guess!
Mackie
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Mackie, That's one sad story. There's too many of them out there. It can drive you crazy if it's all you hear. Make sure you read some uplifting stuff and happy movies too. You sure can sing a sad tune when you have one to sing.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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pretty cool Mackie,ya never know what you'll find in one of those cypress stumps.How is your guitar amped up,it sounds a lot different?Mike
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Dan-
I have some happy ones I'm working on--one ALL OF ME, but haven't got the music yet--
It's the movies that are driving some of my sad songs--GUESS I NEED A SPRING BREAK!
Thanks for your thoughts!
Mackie
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Thanks Michael--
It's a different guitar--A FENDER JAZZ MASTER-- on a KUSTOM TUBE AMP--
DONE ON A DIFFERENT COMPUTER!
IT STILL NEEDS SOME WORK!
Mackie
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Joined: Dec 2012
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You know....this is a sad tune, but I enjoyed the emotion and the honesty of it. From a commercial point of view, I would say I could hear this in tv/movie situation.....you know with the images of a sad drama scene with the emotion of several faces being shown in slow motion as this song is playing.....I am sure the image is more vivid in my mind than it is in my typed out message.....
Anyway, Mackie.....I liked it....sad and all.
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Fred--
You've heard a few of my songs--
I guess my main desire, to shoot for in a song, is to paint a simple picture with enough emotion using story elements coupled with a melody, that will stir the same thoughts I have--
To me, a song always has more than one main idea--a picture within a picture so to speak--I have done what I intended, if only one other listener can feel that same emotion!
Thanks for giving this one your time and thought!
Mackie
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Murder ballads date back at least 300 years (Pretty Polly) and, yep, it's a grim tradition but they are part of our musical fiber. This one is very effective with the guitar and your vocal -- the mood is set and the imagery is very vivid. Needs movie credits rolling.
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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JANICE AND BUD--
I appreciate you giving this one a listen!
Yes, I read a lot of the old folk lore stories, and have written: inspired by them!
When I watch a movie that has a sad message, I usually have to write the sadness from my mind--That is what happened with this one.
I always learn something from your feedback!
Later,
Mackie
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hey Mackie, Heartbreaking and tragic...really nicely done! And wow, the way you described rape here is powerful and respectful...I've never seen a description like it:
What looked like love Was just foul play
Lisa
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LISA--
Thanks for giving this one your positive take--
I wrote this song, after watching two Tom Selleck movies on Netflix--I moved the setting to the Bayou, and changed the story to keep it as shallow as possible in detail, keeping in mind some aspects of the movies!
I always appreciate your thoughts--
Good luck with your project--I could never attempt one so involved!
Mackie
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Well done, Mackie. You have to do a duet with Mike
Bill
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Mackie,
This is really good! Cool lyrics that hit you hard. Nice melody and performance. I like the "bright" guitar against the soft vocals, but would compromise a tad and bring it back a hair just so not to have it compete with these poignant vocals.
I'm impressed!
steady-eddie.
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Bill--
I used to sing harmony in the shower--NO DUETS YET!
Thanks for checking this one!
Later,
Mackie
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Eddie--
With this sad one, I 'm still learning a lot, trying different guitars and amps--The jazz master guitar is brighter with p-90 pickups-- I didn't have the tone set just right--Though the Kustom '36 duece is a tube amp, I haven't used it enough to get a handle on the settings--I appreciate your feedback!
Later,
Mackie
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Joined: Nov 2007
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Mackie, this is very good. Sad story, told with subtlety. A sense of danger from the setting, screams and a pair of shoes: emotion comes both from what is said and what is not, that's great art You sing it just like it should. I agree the guitar may be a tad too much on the bright side. Thought it was an acoustic at first, and maybe it should be. I can hear some Townes Van Zandt in that recording, which is not too bad, lol! Congrats on this one! Yann
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YANN--
I APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK--I'll have to re-record this one, and see how a classical sounds.
You have a lot to write about in FRANCE--It's been a long time since I was there!
Later--
Mackie
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Just loving it Mackie. It's sad, heartbreaking with no happy ending... my cup of tea. I know I must have said this before but your writing is improving by leaps and bounds brother. Love the guitar work and your soulfully expressive vocals - which is the icing on the cake. While I would love to know a bit more about her situation, I see from your comments that the lack of detail is intentional, so I will suffer......... in silence. Keep it up
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Hey Mackie,
Yeah, just eerily quite right. You have the right balance between not saying too much, and conveying the story through reading between the lines. Solid hooks and quite almost flippant statements really make it work.
I'd like to hear it without all the hiss and buzz, but as a song writers piece, it's great anyway.
cheers, niteshift
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Joined: Nov 2010
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You know how to write those sad songs Mackie.
Vic
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Mister Nelson--
I appreciate you giving this sad one a thumbs up--I did have another verse, but it left more loose ends, than I could resolve in a short time--So I let the listener do the interpretation.
I'm still learning to feather the words and phrases--
Thanks for your help!
Later,
Mackie
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NITE--
To you and the Land Down Under, I welcome your feedback.
My friend GARY TALLEY of the BOX TOPS, did a 30 day tour in Sidney a couple of years ago--He loved everything about Australia, except the JET LAG!
I don't like to fly, so I'll probably never get to your OUT BACK!
I appreciate your feedback MATE!
The hiss and noise are from OLD equipment--
Later,
Mackie
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