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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Life makes no sense Death makes even less I don't know why we're here Don't know what we are
Some speak about God But there's no such thing Others speak of evolution Part of an animal kingdom
Are we viruses with brains With binocular vision With opposable thumbs Standing on two legs
Speaking diverse languages Words that have no meaning Outside our own cultures Just sounds and symbols
I have one more decade One final last chapter Then eternal oblivion Like I never existed
I used to really care Now it's so irrelevant I'll live out my life Knowing that it's Pointless!
I think of the beatniks Of the lost 1950s Popping fingers in coffee shops And reciting nonsense
Maynard G. Krebs You remember Dobie Gillis Uncle Jed in Cat Ballou Pointless!
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we're just a dream unborn
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Hi Jim,
I guess it's Pointless to say that I'd appreciate something positive here -- lol! Well written but depressing as anything!
Hey -- one thought for the ending...should it be "DON"T remember Dobie Gillis." If we do remember, then maybe he's not Pointless!
Lisa
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Joined: May 2009
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Hey Jim, I critique from a commercial point of view; if this is not meant for the market, please disregard the following:
I think most people like songs that are either uplifting, or sad with some kind of hope involved. Depressing songs (such as this one, IMO) seldom make it.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hey Jim -- I'm back, chuckling at my misunderstanding! You picked the obscure people to make the point that we don't remember them, so my suggestion was really dumb! I was driving along today and it hit me.....my critique was POINTLESS! -- Lisa
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Hi Jim,
I guess it's Pointless to say that I'd appreciate something positive here -- lol! Well written but depressing as anything!
Hey -- one thought for the ending...should it be "DON"T remember Dobie Gillis." If we do remember, then maybe he's not Pointless!
Lisa
Life is a roller coaster. When it's up, I write positive. When it's down, I write negative. Someone on another forum mentioned that Warren Beatty and Tuesday Weld got their starts on Dobie Gillis.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
Hey Jim -- I'm back, chuckling at my misunderstanding! You picked the obscure people to make the point that we don't remember them, so my suggestion was really dumb! I was driving along today and it hit me.....my critique was POINTLESS! -- Lisa Maybe we're all pointless in the long run, and maybe it's not as bad as we think. Jim
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
Hey Jim, I critique from a commercial point of view; if this is not meant for the market, please disregard the following:
I think most people like songs that are either uplifting, or sad with some kind of hope involved. Depressing songs (such as this one, IMO) seldom make it. I like your Harlan Howard quote. He was a giant in Nashville.
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