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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Lamb.wavv
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/05/26 04:07 PM
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 255
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 255 |
Hi Dana!
I like the idea, and the medical metaphors...but it seems like there may be too many of them, IMO. I had trouble figuring out what was going on the first couple of times I read it...possibly too much happening without enough details....maybe find a way to make it all about losing him or all about getting him back...with more details of how it happened. Good luck with it!
Jason
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