Hi there Steve,
Nice track. Love the writing, very engaged!
Nice production too - do you have any outlets for this music in mind, or is it just for fun?
On the nit side, I would pitchcorrect your vocals. Your voice sounds fine, but you sing so off key it distracts from your lyrics, I think. Something you don't want, when they are important.
For the genre, I maybe missed a little more punch in the bass :-)
But, it's obvious you did put a lot of effort into this. It payed off too!
Thanks for listening and your comments.
The only outlets I have in mind are places like this forum, my SoundCloud website and playing it live at gigs. Indeed, I performed the song at a singer-songwriter night at the weekend. I'm not banking on rockstardom at my age.
I'll experiment with the bass but I don't want to push it wholly in the direction of dance music as the lyrical subject matter isn't really fluffy enough for that audience.
The vocal is just a scratch effort, which I'll be re-recording for the next version. Hopefully, my pitch correction will be singing it right when I do that but I'm wary of autotuning and suchlike as I feel it often takes the character out of a performance. Besides which, I'd have to learn how to do it. ;-)
I think that this song may be a good set closer at my gigs. Most of my compositions are a lot slower than this one. This is 120 bpm, whereas 80 - 100 bpm is my usual territory.