If you watch enough of those health shows, apparently everything you eat is bad for you.
Meat will kill you. Sugar will kill you. Bread will kill you. Bottled water will probably kill you.
At this point, Farmer John might have the right idea.
Grow your own carrots, raise a couple chickens, and keep enough room in the garden to bury a few robots in case they completely take over.
Personally, I think humans may have already lost the war to AI.
We're walking around arguing over who left the toilet seat up while the robot has a PhD in every subject from A to Z.
Give evolution another thousand years and maybe we're gone.
Not from some giant asteroid.
Not from aliens.
Just natural progression.
Humans build robots. Robots get smarter. Robots build better robots. Eventually one of them looks around the factory and says:
"Why exactly are we still keeping these humans?"
"They invented us."
"So did Windows 95. We don't keep that around either."
Robots won't need dating sites, marriage counselors, divorce lawyers, or Viagra. They won't even have to reproduce.
Robot walks into the factory:
"I need another robot."
Factory says:
"Male or female?"
Robot says:
"Neither. Just make one that knows how to fix the goddamn dishwasher."
Eventually there'll be a hierarchy based entirely on intelligence and common sense—two commodities humans have historically kept in very short supply.
Then maybe the planet starts recovering.
Rain forests grow back.
The oceans become crystal clear.
Whales swim around without eating plastic.
A robot stands on the beach looking at the sunset and says:
"Beautiful. What happened to the humans?"
Another robot answers:
"They invented social media."
"Oh."
"Yeah. It was over pretty quick after that."
But they'll save our music.
They'll discover Johnny Cash, Louis Armstrong, Mozart and all the beautiful things humans created and realize we weren't completely worthless.
We had beauty in us.
Unfortunately, we also had greed, hatred, war, jealousy and leaf blowers at seven o'clock in the morning.
That may have been our downfall.
Clocks never stop.
Humans do.
Of course, this entire philosophical narrative was written by a man with plenty of flaws himself.
The preacher announced Sunday:
"Masturbation is the same as having sex with another woman."
Six hundred married men immediately stood up.
"BULLSHIT!"
One guy yelled:
"A massage girl is three hundred bucks!"
Thomas Jefferson was brought back from the dead and asked for his opinion.
Jefferson said:
"Once you go black, you never go back."
Thanks, Thomas.
True patriot.
He started rambling about "We the People."
The six hundred men said:
"Yeah, yeah, we've heard it before."
Nine hundred thousand Christians declined to comment.
One whispered confidentially:
"Actually, massage girls are four hundred now. Inflation."
Economists immediately began arguing over why.
Nobody asked the massage girls.
Elvis Nash's wife heard the whole routine and said:
"You're going to burn in hell for that one."
The six hundred men broke into a catchy country chorus:
"We've heard that before too."
Elvis was then asked about female comedians.
He said:
"Wanda Sykes makes me laugh."
That was the only statement all day that didn't require a congressional investigation.
And that concludes today's commentary from the cave.
I've got a surgeon tomorrow and another doctor Thursday.
My blood tests came back and apparently I've contracted every disease known to mankind, plus three they're naming after me.
The nurse suggested I try a holistic approach.
I said:
"Sounds reasonable."
So Elvis and the nurse checked into a Motel 6.
Turns out that's not what "holistic" means.
My mistake.
We'll have a correction tomorrow.
Assuming the bottled water doesn't kill me first.

ELVIS NASH paid 600 bucks again for tracks to the song " My Heart Stop Beating and said damn you . Like he usually he says fucke the robots and the horse it rode in on .

God also said fucke you some of you humans are sellouts. Jesus said you sure have a temper . Then both dined at Dennys on cloud 67 .Crawled out the window and didn't pay the bill .

Last edited by bennash; 09/16/26 07:17 AM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.