Poetically interesting Lyric. Coherent theme, while wandering widely through abstract concepts.

Opens with The Chorus; a somewhat rare practice, which I recommend if a Song can 'work' that way. It breaks the Repetition of the same old Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus pattern so many Songs employ.

The Line, "...because I can...", ending the Chorus, seems to be the emphasized concept, the 'summary' Line, occupying the strategic 'Last Line' position left ringing in the listener's ear as the Chorus ends. The '...year of the monkey...' Line, employed as Line 1 of the Chorus is forgotten by that time.
To make "Year Of The Monkey" the title Line, THE Hook, you could repeat it at the end of the Chorus.
That adds to the overall time, pushing toward the typical radio-friendly time of 3:30, but I think it's 3:14 now, so it might not be too long.
Shortening the Introductory Movement by 10 or more seconds could trim some of the overall time. Unless an Intro is doing something special it need only be long 'Enough' to serve the function, to engage listener attention long 'Enough' to get to the Lyrical opening, Verse, or Chorus.

"Year Of The Monkey" ("Because I Can")
© words 2022 John Voorpostel
(Introductory Movement 0:00 - 0:24)

Chorus (0:25 - 0:48)

It’s the year of the monkey!
It’s the season of the moon!
I really can’t believe all
the things they make me do!
There’s power in my purpose
and purpose in my plan!
I tell you now
I do it all...
do it Because I Can!
Just Because I Can!
(Repetition emphasizes the concept. Last Line, strategic position, left ringing in their ears. Two 'hits' on this Line in each giving of the Chorus, six hits, strong in memorability. I'm walking away singing those Lines. Someone 'hearing' the Song, without a Lyric sheet, might come looking for this title, and not find it because the 'chosen' title is "Year Of The Monkey", a Line they forgot by the end of the Chorus.)

Verse I (0:54 - 1:28) (Timing of the 'Change of Dynamics, about 60 seconds in; good. Human attention span. Whether you start with a Verse or a Chorus, about 60 seconds in you have to 'be somewhere' with 'Change' for Structure to keep them 'Hooked', listening.)

No one’s going to stop me! I’ve emptied everything!
With nothing left to lose I’m not afraid of anything!
There’s perfect cherry blossoms and they’re shouting at the sky!
Nothing lasts forever! Every season has its time!
Passing on or left behind, it all remains the same!
Autumn winds are blowing! Clouds are pushing out the rain!
Even lives fully lived are but a moonlit night!
Nothing lasts forever! Every season has its time!

(1:30 - 1:52)
It’s the year of the monkey!
It’s the season of the moon!
I really can’t believe all
the things they make me do!
There’s power in my purpose
and purpose in my plan!
I tell you now
I do it all...
do it because I can!
Just because I can!

Verse II (1:58 - 2:31)

Shooting stars and rising suns! To me they’re only names!
Fire, water, wind and earth’s the only thing at stake!
In trying to find an answer all I do is look inside!
Nothing lasts forever! Every season has its time!
Day by day I’m better! Every hour less is more!
There comes a day of reckoning, I’ll know what it's all for!
I’m master of my body and I’m master of my mind!
But nothing lasts forever! Every season has its time! (This Repetition also begins to have 'title' power via memorability, qualifying as a Chorus Refrain, ending each Verse.)

(2:33 - 2:57)
It’s the year of the monkey!
It’s the season of the moon!
I really can’t believe all
the things they make me do!
There’s power in my purpose
and purpose in my plan!
I tell you now
I do it all...
do it because I can!
Just because I can!

Coda
(3:01 - 3:10)


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com