Originally Posted by E Swartz

I get the theme here. But I think you need to add some passion to the lyrics and better connect the story. In this manner the reminiscing will work better IMO, and I feel the opening verse will be more believable and tragic. He's smitten, but he knows this age difference will never work, and he doesn't follow after her knowing she needs to seek her own adventure and education. He'll always love her however, and therein is the tragedy for him. I can relate to this song--many moons ago when I was in a musical production age 22 and a beautiful 17 yr old dancer from the chorus asked me for a ride home........

I'm not saying you should necessarily change your lyrics, but here is "one" idea for lyrical consideration--you might even improve or expound upon it: (Liked the song and your performance-btw)

She was a young woman...of only twenty-three...
I was married, twice as old as she
Drove her home, from work one night
She kissed me softly then she ran inside

She left the city and went to finish school
Then San Francisco to try something new
I think so often of that fateful night
watched her go, but did what was right

Once in life, if you're one of the lucky few
Fate will step in... and true love will come to you
But seldom do you get a second chance
A second chance, for true romance

I did not see her for a few long years
When she came back, I fought back tears
We reminisced on all the times we missed
Parted ways without a single kiss

Life is full of twists that can't be known
Sometimes seeds of love are never sown
We planned to chat when we had some time to kill
To share a coffee, but I'm waiting still……..


Hi Ed...Thanks for stopping by...and for you suggestions, I'll go back to it next week...See what I can do with it.