JPF Home Page Forums General Messages Songwriter Message Forum Ande's Lyric Writing Tips

Dear Brian,

Thank you

I'd forgotten about airun. I just remember he was viscous mean and persistent at attacking me & Eventually.
http://www.broadjam.com/artists/songs.php?artistID=12856&mediaID=96362

http://www.broadjam.com/player/player.php?play_file=12856_96362

At some point I quit responding to his posts then blocked him.
All his posts show up as
*** You are ignoring this user ***

Some songs are lyrically sparse. Eventually is one of them. My lyric writing tips are tools not rules. I felt like he critiqued Eventually, a pop song, using country tools.

Melody and prosody are more important than lyrics. Songs like Yesterday or Unchained Melody or At Last don't have many words. When a song has few words, it makes room for interesting melodies. A recent example is Sam Smith's run away hit "Stay With Me"

[Verse 1:]
Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

[Chorus:]
Oh, won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This ain't love, it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me

[Verse 2:]
Why am I so emotional?
No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

[Chorus 3x]


But you know what? The melody is so amazing and his voice is gorgeous, I don't care. I feel no need to jump into the ridiculousness of saying, it's ok but I'd really like more imagery and story.

Each song has its own journey.

Also songs are art, they are our creations, at some point we need to have the courage to decide that when a song is done. Also, when you cowrite, you don't always get your way & sometimes the relationship is more important than being right or thinking you're right. Always separate song and writers, always approach with the intent to make the song better and people valued and appreciated.

What's interesting about Eventually was, I wrote the chorus, then invited Donna Aylor in on the lyric and we cowrote some country verses for it. Then we invited melody writer, Mark Oates in on the song and his 1st draft was kinda country blue grassy & uptempo. We immediately told him we didn't feel it matched what the lyric was about, being totally in love then suddenly dumped, heart broken, blindsided, aching for the one we lost, stuck in misery and futility.

As a side note Mike Reid & Allen Shamblin's early draft of "I Can't Make You Love Me" was uptempo and bluegrassy. The cowrite took several weeks, they had a break, after the break they got back together to finish the song. Mike told Allen I've got something I want you to hear. He played his rewritten version of "I can't make you love me" as an instrumental. It was the version we know. When Mike finished, he asked Allen what he thought of it and what he should change. Allen had no clue it was their song. He told Mike "That was the most beautiful amazing thing he'd ever heard and shouldn't change a thing." Then Mike told him, "It's our song "I can't make you love me" Then he played it again singing their lyrics.


Back to Eventually, Donna and Mark got together without me and totally rewrote Eventually's verses and bridge to what they are now. I wasn't part of that dialog, but I love what they did and totally support their choices. I am proud to be a cowriter of "Eventually." I'm happy to help people on their songwriting journeys.

Sometimes songwriters can be overly critical of other writers songs.
Sometimes songwriters are way more critical than fans.

But if you're a writer who's hoping for commercial success, you've got to develop your skills to a very high level, you've got to have the ability to be a tough self critic. The song game has changed, it's hard to get cuts, there are fewer acts, fewer songs & CDs sold. Many artists are also writers. Which is why labels now want 360 deals where they earn a piece of everything artists do.

If you want songwriting success, your best bet is to be an artist or find talented up & coming artists, songwriters or producers, get to know them as people, help them and cowrite with them or place songs with them. Also know if they get really successful, they get really busy and many might move on & up.

Brian, thanks for everything you've done over all these years, you are JPFolks but truly far from plain. Thank you especially for resisting the temptation to sell out in the early years during the internet boom. JPFolks is a great community and a true labor of love.

Ande