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Author Topic:   Pls. critique another BOOM BOOM song
native new yorker
Casual Observer

Posts: 5
From: brooklyn, n.y. u.s.a.
Registered: Dec 2004

posted 12-07-2004 21:58     Click Here to See the Profile for native new yorker   Click Here to Email native new yorker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just want to thank all you guys that responded to the few projects I put up here. Appreciate all the input. This is kinda hip-hoppy see what you think.


c BOOM BOOM


When I was young and I was one
My life revolved round havin' fun
No bills or worries, just run and gun
But now a little older, gotta daughter and son.


Then one day I'm on my way
Walkin' to work, now I need the pay
'Bout a half block ahead
A short, short skirt
Pick up the pace, it's time to flirt.


I walk a little faster, and I say to myself
Slow down, you can't go past her
And as I start to get closer
The skirt starts a singin'
Boom booom boom booom
And my heart starts poundin'
Boom Boom.


Now we're stoppin' at the corner as the light turns red
But it's killin' me as I can only see the back of her head
What's on the other side I think to myself
My heart beats faster
Boom boom boom boom.


Now I squeeze through the crowd and race across the street
Do a 180, just bein' discreet
She's walkin' right towards me and what do I see
The mother of my children
Ain't it great to be me
Boom boom.

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Anne Meredith-Will
Serious Contributor

Posts: 307
From: Bemidji, MN US
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 12-08-2004 08:51     Click Here to See the Profile for Anne Meredith-Will   Click Here to Email Anne Meredith-Will     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi New Yorker - This is a winner. Nice rhythm to it. I love skirt singing line! Anne

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TheGuyWhowouldn'tSignHisN
Serious Contributor

Posts: 255
From: Lebanon ME U.S.A.
Registered: Jul 2004

posted 12-08-2004 12:12     Click Here to See the Profile for TheGuyWhowouldn'tSignHisN   Click Here to Email TheGuyWhowouldn'tSignHisN     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey, Knee-Yawk
Not being one to dish out negative stuff because it's no fun at all . Someone would have already pointed out that " My heart goin' boom, boom, boom" has been done before. I think the only reason they havn't is because they're just about getting blue in the face pointing out blatent coincedences.
I'm the last one here that can open his " mouth" about such things . I don't always agree with the severity of critique in instances where a couple of words line up , but ; in this case, it's a melody from off the radio and I can't tell you who sung it off the top of my head, but ; know for certain that it's a melody swimming around in my head from a popular song. I'll push the limits of creative liscence as far as they will go. Knowing there is a limit where ceredit is being taken for something someone else wrote. I hate saying it , but ; I think this crosses the line.
There's three reasons for telling you this, 1: Folks around here are very protective of the copyrights of others, it's , in some cases, their bread and butter.
2: Easy enough to let someone else do the dirty-work and sopp up the gravy of handing out kudos's, felt it was time I stept up to the plate and take some of the bad with the good.
3: Just a friendly gesture to get you on the road of staying out of trouble.

I know , you prefaced your song with "another "boom boom" song , that doesn't cover it.
In the event you are the writer of the first "boom boom" song, please accept my appologies for trying to defend your rights against yourself.
BTW, I don't always come across as being able to be understood , so , if this comes across as gibberish , not to worry, someone able to, will explain what I think I mean.
Respectfully, Pete

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