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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 214 |
This is a pop/r and b dance song! Please comment! _____________________________________________ End (C)2001,Elizabeth Ross
He don't want you, and that's a fact. I saw him with some other girl right after you got back. Yeah,as soon as you go away, he comes out to play.
(chorus)-Ya see, I know it's true, I just ain't tryin' to make you blue. I see things that you don't. He wants me to,but I won't. You should feel lucky you've got a friend, 'cause your relationship with you boy's about to end.-
This lesson you've gotta learn before you crash and burn. He's gonna make you cry and you're gonna wonder why. You're gonna see that I didn't lie.
-Chorus-
-Chorus-
Feel lucky you've got a friend, 'cause your relationship's gonna end.
------------------ ~Optikal Illusion is comin' at ya~
[This message has been edited by Optikal Illusion (edited 02-20-2001).]
[This message has been edited by Optikal Illusion (edited 02-21-2001).]
*You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one,I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one*-John Lennon *Forgive,well that's a mighty big word for such a small man and I'm not sure I can 'cause I don't even know now who I am*-Rebecca Lynn Howard
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
You are 14...Optica?...wow...I think this was good Pop? and you written how many songs? 180?...boy...that's great!!! I think what would help us read your lyrics easier...would be to space between your chorus and verse.. I haven't been writing for very long...and I have trouble tryin to figure where one starts and the other begins... so that would help. Also I see that you're using a lot of more "simple rhymes"...well, We all do...but it's nice to mix them up...somewhere on this Board is a Rhyming Post...back farther I believe.. In fact...it's on here twice...on Rhyming and using a bit more stretch..to them..using imperfect rhymes...etc.. might want to check that out.....too It's under Bobbie Gallup....and I'm trying to think who else.. I think it might have been Sharon..not sure.. but there definitely is one back pages now listed as Rhyming Helps...or something like that under Bobbie's name...
Kaley...Good luck with your writing...
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 214 |
Thanks,Kaley! I will check that out...I'll have more songs on here soon,so please look at them,too! Thanks! ------------------ ~Optikal Illusion is comin' at ya~
*You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one,I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one*-John Lennon *Forgive,well that's a mighty big word for such a small man and I'm not sure I can 'cause I don't even know now who I am*-Rebecca Lynn Howard
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
Given the date posted, this must be about Bill Clinton.
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