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A new write based on a true story. I know way too much about this situation but I have tried to keep the song simple and universal. Comments welcome!

They’re Not Friends Any More Copyright ©2016 Colin Ward

V1
Two men sat…………. in a bar one day,
The mood was bright, drank their IPA,
They talked for hours, until the clock struck two
The music played, and their ideas grew

V2
The men became friends, they shared a passion,
Their lyrics shined, didn’t follow fashion,
Wives, kids and friends, joined in the game,
The guitars sang, people knew their names

Bridge
Then poison spread and it all went bad,
Wives and money, everything they had,
Fell to earth and splattered around,
The rumors spread about what went down

Chorus
It’s a crying shame, it’s a terrible pity,
‘Cause they’re not friends any more,
It’ll never change, not in this hot city,
They’re not friends any more
No, they’ll never be friends any more

V3
Memories fade, now they both seem fine,
Stay far apart, through their daily grind,
Old friends wonder, what the hell went wrong,
But they can’t choose sides, life’s not that long

Chorus

Last edited by Colin Ward; 05/19/16 01:10 PM.

Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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Excellent....I'd tighten that chorus up...

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It's a cryin shame
A terrible pity
I'll never change
Not in this scalding city

No they're not friends anymore

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Thanks Barry. So far, I have tightened the verses up! I like repetition in the choruses.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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sounds like a reunion tour in the works Colin.A good write.Mike

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Thanks Mike. I'm not sure if there is enough meat in the story for those who are not familiar with it.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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Hi Colin,

It's something that happens way too much. I like most of it, but agree it could use a bit more meat. Why did they argue about that was so bad? Was it a song, a woman????



Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

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www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
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Hi Colin.
I assume this is about two musicians who for whatever reason have grown apart.
To me there isn't enough info (ambiguous or otherwise) in the lyric. Either go for full explanation of what it's about or hide the story in imagery.
Is it significant to the story that two men sat in a bar drinking IPA until the clock struck two?

It may work if you combine the info of the two first verses
into one.
E.G.
V1
In the better times when their dreams were new
they would talk for hours, like old friends do
They would write those songs in the good old ways
and their wives would dance and the kids would play

Then the second verse could add a hint at success in their career:
E.G:
There were many years that Silver Eagle rolled
from the dusty towns to the city's gold.
etc. etc....

Good hunting.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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Thanks John,

I will try to flesh it out.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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H Vic,

Thanks for the suggestions. Your first verse idea would definitely work. I will steal some of it!

The actual story is rather unusual and complicated. It is inspired by a couple of friends who had a huge falling out. Each has his own version of what happened and they differ greatly. Many of their friends, including moi, are put in the awkward position of choosing sides or trying to stay friends with both without alienating either..... The actual root cause is one lending the other money. Somehow divorce and hatred entered the picture. I am inspired to write the song in pretty vague terms for obvious reasons!


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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It is bad but so many times loans between friends, and or family, tear relationships apart. I have one cardinal rule about loaning money, even if I almost never do it. "Never make a loan expecting it to be paid back!" If you do this you can be disappointed but the only person you can be angry at is yourself.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes

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