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Joined: May 2010
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NEW SONG COLLABORATION! Fab and emotional FAWM lyrics of my friend Geneva (Nightengale), was so happy to find music in these words. This is for all of us who know the days before an expected loss of a loved one. I love finding my feelings in another person's words and having their words bring out that music from me. I chorded and recorded this on my Tascam, nothing too fancy, just to get the idea of the melody across. WHEN YOU GO on Soundclick Link for all of those handsome men out there that prefer SoundCloud When You Go (c) 2015 Geneva Griffin/Tammy Carlson Verse 1 Who's gonna warm my heart, when all the spark is gone.. And I feel so alone my blood runs cold.... Who's gonna ease my mind, when I can't go on.. And you're not there when I need you most.... Chorus Cause you're leavin', You gonna leave me, I don't know how to be alone.. Soon you're leavin, You gotta leave me, And you can't take me with you when you go.. Verse 2 Who's gonna lift my spirit, in my darkest hour.. When my entire world is fadin' fast.... Who's gonna hold me close, When I cry all night.. As all our sweet mem'rys take me back.... Chorus Cause you're leavin', You gonna leave me, I don't know how to be alone.. Soon you're leavin, You gotta leave me, And you can't take me with you when you go.. Bridge Who's gonna kiss my lips, When I need tenderness, Who's gonna make me smile, The way only you can.... ..Til I get to heaven.. Chorus Cause you're leavin', You gonna leave me, I don't know how to be alone.. Soon you're leavin, You gotta leave me, And you can't take me with you when you go..
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Tammy and Geneva, We all have these thoughts when a loved one is about to pass. We try to pretend we don't, and they riddle us with guilt..but we all have them, and it's an amazing and brave write, to say it as directly as you do, Geneva. Tammy, your singing has never been better; I am hearing just you in there. No more Natalie Merchant comparisons, cuz you sound like you now, to me. What a strong set of pipes--and your pallet of expression seems limitless! Great chording choices; they express the sadness of the singer without being in any way coddling for sentiment. Beautiful work, all around, ladies. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Aug 2008
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I can only echo Calvin's and Mike's comments, Tams. Absolutely lovely vocal (and chording/melody) rendition of Geneva's moving lyrics. Just a real pleasure to listen to. A fine collaboration from two fellow FAWMers. Donna
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Joined: Apr 2008
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great job Tammy sounds very good for nothing to fancy. also Geneva ...very good lyric. enjoyed this. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Awesome vocal. Nice job Tammy!
Sounds SO good as a 1+1. (with harmonies of course)
Harmonies are very effective.
Chorus is REALLY good.
Can't think of much I would change here. Congrats on your progress!
Ricky
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Geneva and Tammy,
Haunting interpretation of these sad and brave lyrics. The only thing I would re-think is the bridge lyrics. With the exception of the last line, which is the AH-HA moment of the song, what you say here are the same things you say in the verses. That last line needs something else to support it, something other than what you've already said. Other than that, well done!
Ricki
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Joined: Nov 2009
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Hey Tammy
Such a painful place for the human heart to reside, good write Geneva, Tams your melody and vocals really carry the lyrics to a soulful place, good job!!
Cheers Paul
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Joined: Jan 2005
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really nice lyrics Geneva!Some mighty fine singing and playing Tammy!You really put this together nicely Tammy.Mike
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Joined: May 2007
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Hi Tammy & Geneva, Hey! Good to see you both! And good to see a FAWM creation! You girls have a touching song here. Tammy, you add a haunting melody and vocal to this story. I like how the chorus opens up with the melody etc. and those harmonies. Good playin’ too! Geneva, the lyric shows so much vulnerability. I like how it starts out right away with “who’s gonna warm my heart” and goes on from there to really express those thoughts. You've done a great job! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Joined: Jun 2013
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What a great collab! Nice writing Geneva. Maybe your best. Tammy, that was a very intimate, artistic delivery. Perfect. Dave
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Hi Tammy,
Really liked the song and vocal delivery.... especially the chorus..
In my opinion, there would be a more poignant emotional give and take if the bridge took this form as a changeup from the verse structure:
ORIG: Who's gonna kiss my lips, When I need tenderness, Who's gonna make me smile, The way only you can.... ..Til I get to heaven..
CHANGED: I want to kiss your lips Show you my tenderness Feel how you make me smile The way only you can.... ..Til I get to heaven..
Just some impressions.. Excellent work!
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Hey Tams and Geneva, Tams, great to hear your voice again mate. Well, that was a great listen. Delivery, depth and passion. Nice interplay between the minor chording, and the occasional major to give it lift and hope ( the strength part comes across really well ) As such a serious song, it could be a bit depressing, but with what you have done, it seems to have reversed the pain into an almost uplifting song. Work on it. It's a keeper. cheers, niteshift
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hey Tammy,
Beautiful song musically and lyrically. Nice performance vocally as others mentioned.
What IMO, could improve the write, is to establish a better transition between vs. to chorus. Perhaps a pause, then jump on the chorus, perhaps tweak the last vs. melody line to better launch chorus--or both. It's not bad, just I think a better transition will strengthen the chorus and give it better identity.
Also, I like the lyric message throughout song, IMO, your Bridge feels lyrically too much like your verses. I think "any Bridge" should "both" musically and lyrically take a different and dramatic direction to be effective to it's potential. Starting it out with a "questions" that is similar to the verses feels too similar IMO. Many directions lyrically available to relate to the song story--but the bridge should feel like a break in pattern with the story, just as your music does.
Nice job performing and a song with much potential IMO. Enjoyed this!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Imo, possibly your best performance yet, Tammy. Love those subtle vocal harmonies.
As others have suggested changes to the bridge melodically I won't repeat that. The only thing extra you could try is to leave out the pause during the last line of the chorus. I felt that it was slightly irritating. It was like waiting for a surprise without getting one.
You just keep getting better. Vic
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Joined: Jan 2006
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HI Tammy and Geneva,
Oooohhh...it sounds wonderful -- pulls at the heartstrings for sure ... lovely collab, you two!!
Lisa
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Joined: Mar 2009
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I really am with Eddie on the fact the chorus is hidden, it's not defined enough to feel like a chorus. I think your performance chops are totally arriving now, it's obvious you are about to take the next step, and I look forward to hearing it happen.
You seem to be on to a good writing thing with Geneva, keep on!
Woot!
Last edited by maccharles; 05/31/15 02:01 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Used Soundcloud Some men are tall dark and handsome, I'm tall and in the dark handsome! Great song folks, love the vocal too. hope it does something for you commercially. you never know! Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Calvin....
Beautiful....we'll take that, thanks!
Tammy
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Mr. Zaneski,
All of that from you has made my day...thank you for boosting my confidence!
Tammy
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Donna,
Thanks for giving this a listen, it may sneak in on 50/90, glad you enjoyed it!
Tammy
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Lane,
Thanks for stopping in and giving this a spin, glad you liked it!
Tammy
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Ricky,
That all means lots to me my friend, I'm glad you can tell I've been working hard at getting better....
Tammy
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Ricki,
Always glad to see you drop by, thanks for the comments!
Tammy
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Paul,
Thank you for describing it that way, my goal is always to move folks emotionally, I'm glad this felt that way to you...
Tammy
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Michael,
Thank you friend, always glad to have you stop by for a listen, glad you liked it!
Tammy
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Kristi,
Hey girl, good to see you, glad you liked it and be warned it will probably show up at 50/90! LOL!
Tammy
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Dave,
Thank you so much for your kind comments!
Tammy
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Iggy,
Always appreciate your listens and comments!
Tammy
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Geoff,
Always nice to see you my friend, thanks for giving this a spin and I am thrilled that you enjoyed it...still trying to get better, glad you still listen...
Tammy
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Way to go ladies, this is a wonderfully touching song.
Such heartfelt lyrics and equally heartfelt performance.
Harmonies are blowing my mind.
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LIked it . . . much feeling expressed.
Especially like the sultry . . kinda smoky flavor of the vocals.
Thanks for sharing.
Doug
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I am nearly at a loss for words to describe the emotions this song wrings from the listener. Sad, brave, poignant, beautiful and it touches nearly every base of the human love experience.
Stunning write and vocal. Thank you both for sharing this with us and I wish you the best when you decide to "pitch it" to the Music Industry. ----Dave
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Joined: Aug 2002
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TAMS I enjoyed your performance. I think your keeping this simple with Geneva's well-written lyric is what may get you at the very least a placement in a film. I think you both popped up to the next level on this one.
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The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing of." —Blaise Pascal, 1670
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Excellent work here Tams and Geneva! Great vocals! Best, John
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Excellent job on this. I repeat excellent!
I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. (Daniel Boone)
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Hey, Tams...
That may be the best I've ever heard from you. Beautiful instrument, beautiful lyric, beautiful heartbreak (wait...what?), beautiful voice...just by-god beautiful!
Diff
rms
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