11 members (Fdemetrio, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, bennash, couchgrouch, Bill Draper, 3 invisible),
1,292
guests, and
248
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
|
OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725 |
Felt like playing tonight so I re-recorded this oldie http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=100639&songID=2645382 vs 1. There's a pawn shop with a sign that says we're open. It's along the path of broken dreams, that lead me away from you. Worn out guitars and strings, and old wedding rings. Where dreams are worth whatever they will bring. chorus: Started off years ago. Said I'd be back before you know. Somewhere along the way her love turned cold. Along the path of tears and broken dreams. vs.2. I still carry the letter that she sent me. The one that says it's time to leave,and come on back home. Sometimes it's just to late, to re-write your fate And lonely hearts should never have to wait. chorus: Started off years ago. Said I'd be back before you know. Somewhere along the way her love turned cold. Along the path of tears and broken dreams (instrumental) bridge: And if I had the chance to start over again. I'd take another shot at it, maybe this time it wouldn't end along the path of tears and broken dreams. chorus: Started off years ago. Said I'd be back before you know. Somewhere along the way her love turned cold. Along the path of tears and broken dreams (tag) Started off years ago Said I'd be back before you know.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313 |
Louis,
Wonderfully heart felt lyric. You had me from the very first line. Very conversational and your delivery was perfect for this song. really enjoyed it!
Tom
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,301
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,301 |
I really enjoyed the listen and performance . Oh , and again Happy Birthday , Louis :-)) All the best Jan
"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is. Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
Louis--
It's my kind of song--HAS A NICE MELODY!
Good luck with this one.
Mackie
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
|
OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725 |
Thanks Calvin Tom, appreciate you listening Jan, thanks man, getting ready to eat chocolate cake Mackie, good to see ya
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Louis,
Some really good lines in this. The melody on the chorus is really nice. Like the ending, too.
fj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235 |
Louis,
So nice to hear you posting again. How is your daughter?
This is a really good one, but that's a given for you. I love the first verse about the pawn shop. Really nice metaphor for the broken love story that follows.
Hope you had a nice birthday and the cake was tasty!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
|
OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725 |
Hey thanks Floyd Hi Wendy, the cake was fantastic. My daughter continues to improve, thanks for asking and thanks for listening.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8 |
So nice to see you again Louis and hear your wonderful voice. Loved the listen and just thrilled to pop in and see you posting!
Tammy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Hey Louis,
Very nice write here. I really enjoyed this.
I did feel that the chorus melody on the next to last line after coming down melody-wise, needs another following line that goes back up melody-wise. Then have your "new last line" coming back down or summarizing. (you could experiment with the line order as well).
If this sounds confusing, my "feel" as is now, you have a summary feeling line being followed by another summary feeling line with melody. By adding one more chorus line, you can IMO, achieve a better hook with more reinforced melody change-up before final summary.
I like what you have mind you, just feel you could lengthen this chorus and give it more body and less of a pre-mature double ending. You have a really nice song and vibe, and I do like this a lot! Just an idea for you to "use or lose." If you're not getting my point, feel free to contact me PM.
Nice write here!
steady-eddie.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
|
OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725 |
Hi Tammy (waving) Thanks Eddie, I'll study your suggestion and play around with it.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,302
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|