JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Spinning, Standing Still

A very strange recording, I think.
And yeah, that is 9 tracks of electric guitar, in harmony.
http://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/spinning-standing-still

It's done. I know that there are some rough spots, but I just can't tweak this one anymore. Just curious to hear your feedback.

Lyrics:
When we pushed
Out of winter
We went right through the summer
And straight into the fall
Then we fell
And kept on falling
The world was a blur
As we tried to grasp it all

But we couldn’t find the handle
And it all just sort of slipped away
We were flailing in the dark
And smashed whatever got in our way

The more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

We smashed
Through our changes
Until we came upon a time
When there was nothing left to change
And we broke
All our mirrors
But the same old faces
Stared right back our way

But we couldn’t find a quiet spot
To get another start
Every new beginning
Very quickly fell apart

And the more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

The more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

I get the feeling that this might be a case of "if you don't have anything nice to say…"

What I like about your stuff is the sense of adventure it has.
Willingness to stretch it out and go somewhere far with it.
It's not a singer-songwriter song for sure, and I think maybe thats why people dont have much to say about it.

Rhytm sounds like blind melons no rain.

Lyrics are kind of just there, but some songs, thats just how it is. The recording is kinda dull, as if the highs are missing.

I think I remember recommending a circular hook for the spinning part, which you employed, It's cool but it sounds kind of 1970's synth, like that sawtooth sound.

I think people are not willing to just enjoy a song, if it doesnt have the schoolbook elements to it, they pass over it. But, some of the best songs ever recorded made little sense.

Think if you put more electric guitar in it to give it some edge, and give the mix more presence it would stand out better.

My 2 cents

Thanks, Bugsey.
I appreciate the ear and the comments!
And, I just put up a solo/acoustic version. (Well, solo, plus piano and the guitar solo.)
http://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/spinning-standing-still-solo-acoustic-version

Todd, I enjoyed both versions, but I did prefer the acoustic. It seemed to bring out the feelings.

If I was to suggest a change, I do away with the 3 chord slow parts after "Spinning.." Something rapid and rising would enhance the "Spin" feel and the chords, staying the same after "standing still" would bring back that "Not making progress..." emotion.

Loved the bounce in the guitar. Would like to hear a street style (bucket, wood and tin) rhythm added very subtly.

Pam

Thanks so much for the feedback, Pamela!
Street version sounds cool.

I think that is a good light-hearted song. I like the nine guitar harmony. Good melody and an arrangement that keeps it interesting. The playing and singing all sounds fine.

I agree with Bugsey about the recording....it does not have the high-end studio sound, although it's not bad for a home studio. I don't know what you use so have no comments regarding pumping it up a bit except that the vocal seems back in the mix due to the reverb plus it's a bit drab due to the EQ. Also the drums sound a bit dead. Of course, my ears are old!

Thanks for listening, Colin!
We are using Logic. And the drums are all electronic.

I think what you are hearing with the drab sound is the fact that we didn't have any real quality mics to use. I've noticed that it makes a huge difference.

I really appreciate you checking out the tune and your feedback.
Rawk!

Hey, Todd. I really like the lyric. I'd leave "smashed" out of V2 entirely. The only other thing is that I'd like to hear more energy in the chorus. Cool song

Bill

Nice song Pop Todd--You got a lot happening on the other tracks--

I never have enough computer memory to do that many on my mac--

Cool Brother!

Write on--

Mackie

Thanks, Bill!
Thanks, Mackie!
I appreciate your listening and your feedback.

And, Bill: I was looking for a verb that was a little more dynamic than "broke." Still am, I guess.
Oh well, the song is recorded now. But there's no saying that I can't change it up when I play it live.

Also, FYI:
I just made my newest songs available for free (including this one), if any of you were interested:
http://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/album/one-by-one
Just letting you know.

Finished huh?

Hi popTodd ,
I really enjoyed the listening and the instrumentation . Very interesting !
Keep up the good work !
All the best
Jan

Thanks, Jan.
And yeah, Bugsy, it's done.

Sounds good.