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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Lamb.wavv
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/05/26 04:07 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262 |
Howdy folks,
I got another lyric done that I would like feedback on before I get this one demoed. I'm picturing it as something up tempo ALA Scotty McCreery or Dustin Lynch but for a younger audience. Thanks for your time and suggestions.
"She's Not That Into You "
Written by Darin Martin
(V1)
Well, I hate to break it to you but you've got to know
That your lady deserves better than an average joe
I'm not saying your a bad guy, she's just out of your league
And your girls a better fit for someone like me
(Pre-Chorus One)
My momma used to say there ain't no excuse
I'm afraid she doesn't want to tell you the truth
(Chorus)
She's not that into you
If she's playin' with me while you're still wait in'
She's not that into you
When you think you're heart's far from break in'
You'll find out she's not that into you
There's no mistaken' there's nothin' she won't do
When she's really into you
There's only one thing left you can do
She's not that into you
(V2)
When I first saw her I wanted to know her more
I've never seen a girl so stunning like her before
You've had your chance, it's my turn to make her mine
She's got me goin' mmm hmmm she looks so fine
(Pre-Chorus Two)
If you're hoping she's gonna change her act
You may have to wake up and face the fact
(Repeat Chorus)
(Bridge)
Don't waste your time asking her to put your heart back together
There's someone else out there who's gonna treat you better, cause
(Repeat Chorus)
- Dairn
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Dairn
I think this has some promise as there are some nice lines
but for me there is a problem with
the sympathetic angle.
I can't feel sympathy for the narrator as he comes over as arrogant, particularly in the verses.
Also if the girl is "playing" as suggested in the chorus then I can't feel sympathetic to her either.
I think you need to make these people more "likeable".
Good luck.
Vic
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1 |
Darin...
I like the idea, and there are some good stuff going on here....I would probably only suggest since she's not into you, I would take it a step further and once the next guy gets her....she is "not into you" now too....
To give it a little twist & Payoff....
Just a Thought
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