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#337034 - 03/22/04 09:51 PM Handjob on the Highway  
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couchgrouch Online content
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cochise, az, usa
outlaw country... [Linked Image]

Handjob on the Highway

Well I shot a wad of cash
with my wife at Wal-Mart
but I never said a word
'bout all those shoes in her cart
I guess she was grateful
cos she gave me a big surprise
ten miles down the interstate
her hand found my buttonflies

I got a handjob on the highway
yeah, let the good times roll
a handjob on the highway
and I almost lost control

my eyes were on the road
but my mind was in the sky
my hands were choking the wheel
when she shifted into high
she rubbed me the right way
till Woody was red n raw
we passed a Peterbilt
who blew his whistle when he saw

I got a handjob on the highway
yeah, let the good times roll
a handjob on the highway
and I almost lost control

I was dizzy n hot, so at first I thought
that flashing light was in my mind
it was just my luck, some trooper saw my truck
swerving down the road at ninety-nine

I stepped outta my Ford
my wife was blushing red
the cop thought I was drunk
but with a grin I said,

"I got a handjob on the highway
yeah, let the good times roll
a handjob on the highway
and I almost lost control"

(c)2004 Robert George

#337035 - 03/23/04 12:32 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Well i don't think this will be on the radio any time soon, but I also have a outlaw side in some of my writtings and i have caught some crap for some of the stuff i have written. For me it's nice to read something a little different. Good job. No pun intended.

#337036 - 03/23/04 03:00 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Nick Holbrook Offline
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This'n fits right in there with "think of it as protein". I happened to love it all the way. You and stan should get together and make a comilation of the "dirty" songs. I love them all, too bad they'll never make it on the air. Keep on writin' and have a wonderful night.

------------------
See ya when I make it...

Nick

#337037 - 03/23/04 03:08 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Great song laughed all the way thru it. Keep it up Couch. lol............


Poems belong in bookstores. Lyrics belong in songs.
#337038 - 03/23/04 04:00 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Great start Robert.
Make it a head job. Give it a bit more fun lines. Get Bill Scull to do a "get 'em dancing" job on it and it has a chance of making the play list of www.kevfm.com is my guess.
Just hope you don't get the flack poor old Stan got for his Protein one is all.
Shoulda put an R on it maybe.
I was really expecting this to be somethning to do with hitch hiking.
Thought you were doing a bring 'em in then surprixe them thing.
Which would work well too.
Graham

------------------
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm

#337039 - 03/23/04 04:15 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Emotionville
Robert


You lucky stiff!


Eric


If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
#337040 - 03/23/04 04:31 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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Let's all give him a "Standing O"!

#337041 - 03/23/04 06:42 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway  
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thanks all. glad it was good for a laugh. [Linked Image]

#1053838 - 07/21/14 09:23 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I'm pouring over pages from 10 years ago looking for an old lyric of mine when I saw this piece of Shakespeare. smile

#1053839 - 07/21/14 09:45 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Dave Whitehead Offline
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I, for one, enjoyed it very much!

Dave wink

#1053841 - 07/21/14 10:06 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: Dave Whitehead]  
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Thanks Dave....I just spent 2 hours looking for an old lyric of mine called "Let the Leaves Go Their Way" and couldn't find it. I played the demo yesterday for the first time in years and it's very good if you'll pardon my arrogance, haha. It was cut by an indie artist a while back and I tend to listen to that. I'm almost positive that a guy named Greydawg replied to my original post and it has some sentimental value to me. Dawg passed away in mid 2004 so it must've been written by then. I actually thought it was written in 03 and demoed in Nashville in early 04. Oh we'll, all that lysergic as a teenager probably didn't do my memory any favors. smile

#1053843 - 07/21/14 10:52 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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If you are looking for your lyric by searching for Greydawg Couch, his name is actually Corky Barnard.

And yeah, racy bit of fun!



If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#1053844 - 07/21/14 11:24 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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David Fontaine Offline
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I like this too Robert. Very bold but very fun to read. I can see this actually happening, is what really makes it fun.

I just came back to JPF a couple of weeks ago. Sad but it wasn't long after Dawg passed, that I had to move on. Very hard to explain. The place just lost something for me. Corky was much more than just a prolific story teller. He was a kind, gentle, non-condescending man. I was lucky enough to do a collab with him at one time. I still treasure that. I returned here only to find out about Stan. I almost wanted to leave again. I'm here though. More time on my hands nowadays. Life goes on my friend.

I hope you find the song you're looking for. You've done so many it may be quite a job.

David

#1053845 - 07/21/14 11:30 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: David Fontaine]  
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I searched under its title with my name and then page by page 2003 through 2005 on lyric one and two. Oh well...maybe I'll post the demo tomorrow, anyway. I can't believe it's been 10 years since it was demoed.

#1053848 - 07/22/14 12:03 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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David Fontaine Offline
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Would love to hear it!

#1053954 - 07/22/14 04:59 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: David Fontaine]  
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here you go, David. That's Chris Leuzinger on guitar, Dave Pomeroy on bass and Russ Pahl on banjo and Lance Miller on vocal. he placed 4th on Nashville Star back then as I recall. I don't remember the drummer's name. Russ is a prominent Nashville session player and Chris is Garth's studio player and an outstanding guitarist.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=431939&content=music

Let the Leaves Go Their Way

As a boy I used to cry
I'd watch old trees and wonder why
come Fall their green leaves had to rust
but as I grew up I learned,
May rolls around and they return
so all you can do is just

let the leaves go their way
let life have its rest
they'll find their way back someday
like the sun from the west
so let the leaves go their way
let the leaves go their way

when my true love went away,
I wanted to make her stay
like lonely men will sometimes do
but I let her be free,
and soon she returned to me
all because seasons taught me to

let the leaves go their way
let love have its rest
it finds its way back someday
like the sun from the west
so let the leaves go their way
let the leaves go their way

when cold November comes,
and touches a loved one
it leaves only mem'ries for us
but as I've grown I have learned,
in time all good things return
so with courage now I must

let the leaves go their way
let life have its rest
it finds its way back someday
like the sun from the west
so let the leaves go their way
let the leaves go their way

(c)2002 Tapani Rauha/Robert George

Last edited by couchgrouch; 07/22/14 05:00 PM.
#1053966 - 07/22/14 05:37 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Wow Robert! Spectacular! I had to listen to it twice it is so good. I love everything about it. All of the music is spot on. Love the guitar, drums, and bass. And wow, the banjo was just a perfect fit, and gave this a great feel! Lance's vocals nailed it. Beautiful melody. Could go to radio as is in my opinion. I love it!! Thanks so much for posting it up. It's not often I'm this impressed, with a completed arrangement. Kudos to everyone involved, and all based on a great lyric!

David

#1053971 - 07/22/14 06:10 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: David Fontaine]  
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Yeah, really well done Couch.

Gary Curtis link here with a sample of how he did it.

http://www.allmusic.com/song/let-the-leaves-go-their-way-mt0035552064


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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#1053975 - 07/22/14 06:32 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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Thanks David...after all these years it remains a favorite of mine. Other songs from those sessions on Soundclick are Closer and Honky Tonk Angel(Kim Allayne on vocals), I Drink Therefore I Am and God Forgives Drunks and Fools. All those lyrics were posted here 10 years ago or more. It was my first Nashville experience born of posting lyrics on the internet.

I've got a great bluegrass cut being released in September which I'll post here. It's been quite a ride. smile

Hey John...thanks for finding that. I love Gary's version but there's something soulful about that demo...

#1053980 - 07/22/14 07:39 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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David Fontaine Offline
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Robert, I just gave a listen to all of those you mentioned. All very nice demos IMO. "I drink Therefore I Am" is just great! And in "Honky Tonk Angel" Kim was exceptional. "Closer" as well is a fine demo, though I lean a bit toward the other more uptempo songs. Great lyrics in them all, but I expect that of you! It's hard to believe those have been around 10 years. They sound fresh and very up to speed. Damn, good work!

#1053985 - 07/22/14 08:01 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: David Fontaine]  
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I know...10 years. My oldies, haha. I'm really proud of about 40 of the demos/work tapes I co-wrote and I think they stand up to anything being released today. Not necessarily radio pop but as songs. I've got a mix cd with 18 songs written by Cameron and me and it's a great listen if sequenced properly like a rock album from the 60s or 70s. A publisher once compared Adios Amigo to Pancho and Lefty which pleased me to no end, haha. I've got another cd with these demos on it plus others like Goodwill Coat and three with Al Carmichael, Lead Me When I'm Lost, Some of My Best Friends are Songs and Carefree River. Some of my Best Friends are Songs was posted here back in 05 or so and it got one or two so-so replies and then nothing. I consider that to be one of the best songs I've ever been involved with.

There are also a few guitar/vocal tunes cowritten with the great Craig Bickhardt I'm also proud of. Painted Ladies being one.

Anyway, thanks for letting me reminisce. smile

Last edited by couchgrouch; 07/22/14 08:03 PM.
#1053991 - 07/22/14 08:16 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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If you are still looking for the original thread: http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/292136/page/182

I downloaded "Some of My Best Friends are Songs" when you put that up -- mighty, mighty fine tune!


"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#1053998 - 07/22/14 08:41 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Thanks Kevin! I don't know how you found it. I was about to hire Mars Investigations. I wish I could find the original lyric post of Some of my Best friends are Songs. I would've sworn Dawg commented on Leaves way back when.

#1054007 - 07/22/14 08:55 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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in google, use
"Let the Leaves Go Their Way" site:jpfolks.com

The "" are optional, but if you have the text 100% correct it does work better.

"some of my best friends are songs" site:jpfolks.com

I got this lyric from 2002: http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/270658/page/215

and this demo from 2008: http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/575131/page/124

and there are other links, too.


"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#1054013 - 07/22/14 09:59 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Thanks again Kevin. I'd found the demo post but not the lyric. Now unfortunately I'm starting to doubt all my memories...is it possible I never won a daytime Emmy for my Tucson talk show "Wake Up With Couchgrouch!" Back in '99?

#1054015 - 07/22/14 10:37 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
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David Fontaine Offline
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Well, your oldies are all damn good! I'm listening to "Carefree River" as I type this. I really like all of them so well, it's hard for me to say I like one more than another. "Goodwill Coat" just floored me though. Might just be my favorite of all. Hell George, you should be making the big bucks by now! Glad if I could help you reminisce some. It does the heart good. I got to hear some damn fine music, so I'm happy as a bee in a flower garden. smile

Thanks buddy,
David

#1054016 - 07/22/14 10:47 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: David Fontaine]  
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cochise, az, usa
Thanks Dave...maybe someday the coins will roll my way...till then, my friend...it's the rhyme itself that makes it pay. smile

#1055892 - 08/12/14 01:42 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 604
Bobby Wayne Offline
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Bobby Wayne  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 604
A very awesome, inspiring, hilarious and cleverly penned lyric with a liberal dose of inventive puns throughout. You're a master of your craft my man and I have missed your unique stylings. I absolutely loved it. Well freakin' done.

#1061309 - 10/05/14 09:48 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: Bobby Wayne]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 63
smajor Offline
Serious Contributor
smajor  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 63
Kingman, AZ
Hey Robert,

This [naughty word removed] happens. If we're lucky enough to hook up with the right woman.

I notice that you ladies have been real quiet on this one, but there's a hand jobber for every hand jobbee.

So couchgrouch, I dub thee the lyrical Charles Bukowski of Just Plain Folks. And it's all in the name. We're all just plain folks here.

Later,
Stan


I'm a lyricist seeking music writers.

Check https://drooble.com/stanfield.major/wall for songs I've collaborated on.
#1062320 - 10/15/14 01:17 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: smajor]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,500
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,500
Villa Park IL
I have had a few of these in my time but will have to admit that this was back in the heady days of the so-called sexual revolution. Now you are much more likely to be ticketed and perhaps even hauled away here in the real world. Although the FCC would probably never allow it airplay, it's a fun piece nevertheless. Good luck with it.

#1065678 - 11/13/14 03:12 AM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,373
Jen Shaner Offline
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Jen Shaner  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,373
Appomattox Va
Nice and naughty write! I really enjoyed it. It's a topic for many jokes and sexy wishes but always with the fear of getting pulled over...like how your guy handled it. smile


Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner
#1070070 - 12/28/14 04:46 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: Jen Shaner]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,530
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,530
cochise, az, usa
Thanks folks. smile

#1154348 - 06/19/19 11:55 PM Re: Handjob on the Highway [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,530
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,530
cochise, az, usa
Geez, I google what I think is a decent lyric of mine I'm looking for and this pops up.


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