JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum It Ain't A Conspiracy Theory If It's True

I seem to have met a lot of folks lately whose belief in bizarre conspiracy theories must be making Vladimir Putin feel very pleased with himself. It seems the more flags and eagles and references to freedom and patriotism you see on a "news" website, the more likely it is to be the creation of a fat guy called Sergei chuckling to himself about dumb Americans at his desk in St. Petersburg (not the one in Florida). This song is not a political statement, just an attempt to laugh in the face of something scary. As always, I will be grateful for all feedback and suggestions.

https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/it-aint-a-conspiracy-theory-if-its-true

The lyric is below, but it's definitely better just to listen to words and music together. I may not be much of a singer, but I am the champion of clear enunciation LOL.


IT AIN’T A CONSPIRACY THEORY IF IT’S TRUE
(Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair)

It ain’t a conspiracy theory
If it’s true
Don’t let that guy from the FBI
Overhear me talking to you
He wants us thinking he’s just sitting there drinking
But that’s not why he’s here
There’s a microphone hidden right there in the foam
Of his Pabst Blue Ribbon beer

CHORUS
It ain’t a conspiracy theory if it’s true
Hey, where are you going? Come back here, I ain’t done talking to you!
I saw it on a site with “Freedom” in its name
It had an eagle and Old Glory flying
You must be a commie to hate our flag
And accuse an eagle of lying

Five million illegal aliens
Came down with Elvis in a UFO
Voted for Hillary Clinton
And then said time to go
There’s a plot to make our president look less like a genius
By the liberal elite
Painted him orange, let him talk
And showed him how to tweet

CHORUS

You know, Hillary skipped school the day
That somebody shot JFK
Go on, try explaining that away
If you’re so smart
Socialist Muslims are coming for us
In a big old bus driven by George Soros
Now, I’m being silenced by the lamestream chorus
That’s just about to start


CHORUS

A buddy of mine saw Bigfoot
Out there in the parking lot
Then a helicopter from the Yoo Nited Nations
Landed and bang, he got shot
(Bigfoot, not my buddy)
The moon landing never happened
The earth is flat
As for 9-11, I know for a fact...
Hey, come back here
Where are you going?
I ain’t done talking to you....

Hilarious

You struck just the right tone - over the top but just slightly more than some of the theories people throw out there. Nice one, Gavin.

Scott

Thanks Scott. I was talking to the receptionist at the car repair shop yesterday, and it turned out she believed in half of these, including all the nonsense about poor old George Soros, who gets blamed for everything. She was astonished to learn that they weren't true. I didn't talk to her about Bigfoot, but when I had to go to the tire shop to get new tires on my truck, the TV there was tuned to a "documentary" show about hunting for him (and werewolves). It would be comforting to think that the problem was confined to the automotive trade, but I doubt it.

Ha ha. Great lyric. Agree - just the right comedic tone to hopefully not get the conspiracy theorists perturbed, though I hear this tune is on infowars radar! Enjoyed it fully.

Dave

Fun tune, great tongue in cheek lyric.

Put it up in youtube prolly get alot of hits

Nope, not funny... Not funny at all!! Those alien probes are no joke!!! And Bigfoot keeps knocking over my damn trashcan!!!

Thanks Fdemetrio. It is just supposed to be fun, but If I put this up on YouTube, I might get the wrong kind of hits LOL. I'm not hard to find.

Gavin,

Really entertaining, and this is the tone that we need more of no matter which side of the fence folks reside. The ending trumpet (or synth) was a perfect music accompaniment to take the song out. This vibe reminds me a little of the early 60's radio comedy spots.

Great write all around!

steady-eddie

Thanks Eddie. Glad you enjoyed it. The trumpet was my favorite part to do.

A great story Gavin, you are the Sage ofJPF, without the onions.
Well crafted and performed.
Regarxs
John

Fun song and, great writing and performing, all around.
Regards
Mimmo

Hi Gavin,

I like this a lot. It's a fun piece. I think if it was trimmed a little it might be stronger, cuz at almost 4 minutes, the one idea was wearing a little thin by the end, for me. But there's so many great lines in this, though, I wouldn't know what to cut..except one thing at the end, for sure.

That being..mentioning 9/11 broke the mood, for me, at the end. It took 25 years for Mel Brooks to take a chance "Springtime For Hitler" had enough time and distance from the crime to write that and have folks laugh at it, and then within the narrative construct that it was supposed to help the play tank.

Mike

Thanks Mike. Good point about 9/11. On the one hand, it is the holy grail of conspiracy theorists, which makes it seem like it belongs in there. On the other hand, there is nothing funny about 9/11. It would be easy to remove, as it's not actually part of a joke. I'll give it some thought.

The length felt about right to me, but it's hard to tell when you're the one who wrote it Just taking out the 9-11 line and not replacing it would have it coming in a about 3 minutes 40 seconds, of which about 8 are the fade out.

As always, I appreciate your insightful suggestions, Mike.

Tickle them to death with the idiocy of their hairbrained fears. perhaps a good laugh at how silly it all sounds in reality might just wake up a few. Lovely work

Gavin,

What a great concept for a song . . . and it has all the charm and satire it needs to resonate. The vocal and production compliment each other well. Lyrically, I'm wondering if the song would have longer legs if it stayed focused on more universally recognized theories, like UFOs, the moon landing, the earth being flat, Paul McCartney being dead, Morrison being alive, the JFK thing, etc.--which never seem to fade--rather than some of the more contemporary references (e.g., the Hillary/Trump) which may date the song in time. Just a thought . . .

But I really enjoyed the listen, and always love to hear your tunes . . . they alway have such life to them.

Kindest regards,

Deej

LOL

Just cuz you say that I'm paranoid does not mean that everyone is not out to get me.

Enjoyed it Gavin.

Marty

Thanks, Matt, DJ and Marty.

DJ, I think you are right about the shelf-life of a song that makes reference to current events. I might have to live with that though because Mr. Trump is just so much funnier than any of those more timeless theories, and his conspiracy theories are more in tune with what the character in the song is most likely to fixate on. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I think we need Trump LOL.

Hahahaha,

Well I lean toward Conspiracy theory for much of what we think we know....This would be cool with a sassy girl singing at parts as well & asking the questions....With bubble gum popping in her outh as she speaks