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Where Was I ?

Link to video
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8yF52Wnj3tiLzy8duvTdGQ?view_as=subscriber

Song #5 in a 7 song Story. In song #4, the cheater made a plea to the cheated-upon to be taken back.
"Where Was I ?" is the cheated-upon's response to the plea.

Martin Lide
Lyrics, Musical structure, Lead vocals, Rhythm guitar

Michael Zaneski
Production and all other instrumentation

Martin,

I wasn't planning on logging in tonight, but I saw this and had to give it a listen. After giving it a listen, I had to stop in to say this is brilliant. I mean, BRILLIANT. Beautiful lyric and vocal, and I think this is among Mike's best works as a producer. Your vision in pulling these songs together is beyond admirable. I'm looking forward to hearing the next two. Just incredibly well done. Wishing you the best of success with these.

My humble regards,

Deej

Hello Martin,


Good teamwork / Beautiful .


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Enjoyed this Martin excellent crisp vocal and that unexpected sax too.
Great work pitching your skills together
Travis

Nice one Martin.
Love the Melody, and you sounded like you meant it.

Vic

Morning, Martin:

Kudos to you and Mike. A "heart-wrenching" story in the form of a well-written song. I think Vic said it best... "...like you meant it!"... and that says it all.

Wishing you much success in this endeavor. ----Dave

DJ, Calvin, Travis, Vic, Dave....

Thanks to all of you for listening. Your time and comments are very appreciated.
As always, I can't say enough about how much I enjoy what Mike does to songs.

DJ...I don't think that the song lives up to "brilliant," but I greatly enjoyed reading that you did.


Thanks again fellas.

This is unbearably brilliant. Nothing more to say.

Thank you Gavin.

I'm pretty sure that "unbearably brilliant" is a good thing as applied here.

Marty

Martin,

Well, I'm listening to this again as I type this . . . and I still say "brilliant". This hits on all cylinders. And Gavin also says it's brilliant (and, yes, unbearably so, in a very good way)--so it must be true. So I think you need to rethink what you think and get more comfortable with the idea that it is in fact a brilliant song. (Nice video, too.)

Just enjoying the harmonies this time around and that piano in the background--really, share my kudos with Mike. Very cool job here.

Regards,

Deej

DJ

You are Awesome. Thank you.

Martin

Marty your songs always seem genuine. I wonder sometimes when you discuss other things where your introspection comes from.

It seems you're looking for the big hook these days. I like it but some of those harmonies dont seem to work, not that they are bad sounding but im not sure they are right.

Good luck with it

You could have left it at that and moved on, but didn't. That's about you, not me, since you've introduced the concept of introspection.

Thank you for those parts of your comments that were complimentary.

And...I'm not looking for a big hook. For several years I've been contemplating this story of two lovers and imagining and writing to the issues between them. Hooks for the sake of hooks are secondary.


Very genuinely,

Martin

Martin, the demo sounds great. Mike always does a great job. The thing is (and this involves your previous song), there are SO many love songs out there, they're like penguins, you can't tell most of em apart. To distinguish yourself, you need a new angle, fresh language or imagery. These don't really have that and could use some more "show" in the lines. Rather than a time worn phrase like "pain in my heart", paint a picture of the pain.

This is just my opinion. Show don't tell isn't always applicable but love songs are ubiquitous. A good one needs to be fresh.

I appreciate your opinion Robert. Not just saying that. I truly do. You're a good and deeply sincere writer.

I'm soon to be a 66 year old guy writing a seven-song story that is not my story. But I've been coming back and back to it for many years because I enjoy working on it and there is some kind of calming and therapeutic value in it for me. I don't know why.

I decided a few years ago that having anyone pick up my songs for recording was not a realistic dream...and...that the best chance that I have of producing songs that are any good...is just to let them happen however they may. If good is not in me...then that will be that.

As far as "showing," I'm trying to imagine how two 25 year old people might actually talk to each other. They may not be all that good at tangible and filled out descriptions of their emotions..

Thanks for commenting.

Martin

I second the "brilliant" comment. Great write and production. Especially loved the harmonies.

Dave

Martin, I can't argue with that. I wish you the best with your project.

Thanks Dave.

Your comment came at a good time. The song was taking some hits this morning. Appreciate your time and input.

Martin

Thank you Robert.

I`m writing this note as I`m listening to the song, what a nice song..I always thought slide-shows enhanced the work.
others think different. again very nice work, music and vocals..

Thank you Lane.

Regarding the slides...If one of the biggest factors in a good song is that it evokes strong visual images in the listener, I don't see how it could be a bad thing to actually give the listener the images in the form of slides. Unless, you pick bad slides. I guess that is where it could fall short. I have seen some music videos here and there where the images seemed loosely associated with the lyric. In cases like that, they might be distracting.

Either case, making the videos is fun.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.

Martin

Martin,

Beautiful............

steady-eddie

I have to say Couchgrouch must have been listening to another song or making himself a nice cup of tea and not really listening This is an incredibly visual song. And I've never encountered a song on this subject with the angle you approach the chorus from. It's also that rare thing that can be difficult to define - a song with heart. Not many people are able to write one of those.

Thanks Eddie.

Thanks Gavin...

I like Robert's writing. And I am very glad that he posts it up here, because it's a very worthwhile contribution to our collective interests. But, when I saw his post I wondered if he listened to the song all the way through. It's not the best song ever written, but I thought he sold it short for the same reasons as you.

No prob though. Robert's seems to come from the viewpoint that if he wrote something, it's good and if someone else wrote it, it's bad or at least, not nearly as good. And I've grown reasonably comfortable with that. Or at least, accustomed to it.

Thanks for the compliment.

Martin

My viewpoint was the song had very little show in the lyric. It has nothing to do with my writing at all. Picture an indy publisher's office in Nashville. He's not your friend or family member. He has three hundred cds on his desk and a hundred mp3s in his in box. 95% of them are love songs. What will distinguish your oompah-loompah from the herd?
You need to put the listener THERE. Right away.

In my opinion ( and it's only an opinion) this doesn't do that.
It sounds very nice. It has nothing to do with me, although I ask myself before I put pen to paper, what do I need to do?
Not all songs need visuals, some just need a striking statement. But they need something. My character shouldn't be an issue. I did like the ceiling line. Put that at the beginning. It needs fleshing out.

Ok.

But...regarding the "putting the listener there"...If the lyric and mood did not put you in that viewpoint..it is most likely because you do not have or empathize with that life experience.

See the Underground Railroad medley? I tried to put the audience there. Even though I can't relate personally to it nor can many people living today. Whether I did or not( as a lyricist) is up to other people to decide. But that was my job.

Look, it's your song. If we want to reach people beyond friends and the internet, we have to up our game. That's just a fact. When we post material for critique, we are in essence, asking others to act as our publishers. A critique from a Nashville publisher differs vastly from JPF.

If you feel those two songs are as good as they can be, that's no sin. I've been dismissing JPF critiques for nearly twenty years. But I am very hard on myself.

I didn't mean to start a bunfight lol. I don't think you can compare this to couch's song, which is also good, though obviously less commercial than this

Gavin, he said I couldn't fully appreciate this lyric because of my life experiences. That's why I used the Underground Railroad medley, not because they have similar themes.

Robert...

Wife and I drove down to Galveston and had drinks and gumbo on Post Office Street tonight. Then walked over to The Strand and had another drink. Sat outside. Perfect weather. Lovely evening. And then came back to see that you had been tinkling all over my song thread.

Nothwithstanding that you have lived up to your username many times over the years, I have seen your presence on my computer screen so many times over a decade that you have become a piece in my own life. And as I get older and older, a venerable piece that I am grateful for.

Because of that gratitude, I am going to share some realities with you that will enhance your understanding of your own world, to the extent, that you accept them.

Reality #1 - I don't want my song thread to be an argu-thread. I want my song thread to be a love-fest where I bask in accolades and feel adored and validated. Or as much of that as I can get. If you want to argue let's move over to your song thread and do it there.

Reality #2 - I am weary of being someone completely non-connected to the actual music industry who has drawn out debates on the internet about what the music industry wants...with other completely non-connected individuals. To do so just makes us a couple of drunks on a corner arguing about whose dck is bigger. Can I pass on that?

Reality#3 - About my song. You're wrong. It vividly and somewhat uniquely portrays the emotional plight of someone who has been cheated upon as well as the cheater. Vividly. To the point of burning it in. What's wrong with that? Won't sell. No one on FM radio wants to drill down into that harsh of a reality. We live in times of extreme denial. Particularly the young people with few life experiences. But I like the song and I can sing it myself and Mike can make it into an actual song. So we do. With enthusiasm.

Reality#4 - A synopsis of your song about the underground railroad would be appreciated by a lot of people. But the same people aren't going to support it with money or spend their time digging into it. It's too long and involved. Nothing is impossible but "Hamilton" is lightning that is not likely to strike twice.

So, try to relax. Try to find something good about my song and other people's songs. Most of us want to enjoy yours. We are not in awe of you but we want to appreciate what you write.

Love and kisses,

Marty

I gave your song an honest critique. And I do enjoy others' work. For example, have a look at Cheap Rooms on Lyric Board 3. It's very well written.