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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Another Gone Midnight song V Saddest song i ever heard Suddenly came to me As I lay in bed alone lost without your company V The songs called it's Midnight About a guy missing someone Now I can feel his pain no where he's coming from C Another gone midnight song it's long overdue Feeling what I feel trying to get over losing you Another gone midnight song one more sleepless night so long Bout ready for another gone midnight song B Tomorrow over my coffee cup I won't see you as i look up
Music V I'll try again to phone not ready to give in yet Least I know there's nobody else angry words became regrets
C
Last edited by Travis david; 06/19/18 05:46 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Travis,
Strong start on this one, though I think it fades a bit on the last 8 lines. The penultimate line in the chorus is an awkward construction, and I think there may be more you can do with the bridge. But I think I've got a good sense of how you work, and have no doubts you'll tweak, twist, and refine this one into a gem. Will look forward to reading and hearing it.
Best regards,
Deej
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Hi Deej another one for a good rewrite which i've planned Thanks for your comments Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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