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#1135043 - 01/15/18 02:20 PM '' Rhonda Again''  
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
Dennis Wright Offline
Serious Contributor
Dennis Wright  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
GA, USA
Dennis Wright
Song title/ '' Rhonda again''
2018
_______________________________
You been coming home late at night
When I ask you where you been all you wanna do is fight
I'm getting tired of playing these games with you
If you don't tell me the truth it's over between me and you

Where you been I wanna know where you been
I'm not going to ask you this again
I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn
Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again

You broke my heart so many times in the past
I forgiven you over and over again, and like a fool I took you back
You promised that you would never cheat on me again
You got five seconds to tell me where the hell have you been

Where you been I wanna know where you been
I'm not going to ask you this again
I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn
Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again

I been through hell with you everyday it's something new
I turned my back on everybody I love to be with you
When you didn't have a penny to your name, I took care of you
God knows I been nothing but good to you

You can save your excuses
Dry those tears from your eyes
I'm sorry baby ain't good enough
I heard it so many times

Where you been I wanna know where you been
I'm not going to ask you this again
I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn
Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again

Tag:
You can save your excuses
Dry the tears from your eyes
It's over between
You and I





Last edited by Dennis Wright; 01/15/18 05:39 PM.
#1135045 - 01/15/18 03:51 PM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: Dennis Wright]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 671
9ne Offline
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9ne  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 671
N.E. of Toronto
Liked the title and I think it had a song feel. I would try for some newer phrases rather than cliches. I think your rhymes need work. (again again you, you you)
A good start that some work will likely improve.
Good luck!
-Mike

#1135049 - 01/15/18 05:23 PM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: 9ne]  
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
Dennis Wright Offline
Serious Contributor
Dennis Wright  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
GA, USA
Thank you Mr. Mike for your taking the time to review my song lyric and for giving me your feedback. I really appreciate it. Please know that I take all feedback into consideration. Thanks again sir for taking time to review my lyric and for your feedback.
God bless, Happy New Year.
Dennis,

#1135112 - 01/16/18 05:04 PM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: Dennis Wright]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 203
RonnieDean Online content
Serious Contributor
RonnieDean  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 203
Keystone, CO USA
I like the chorus.
I would not keep using Holiday Inn over and over as it will bore the listener to hear that over and over, but mix it up with another line that rhymes.

Good title too.

#1135118 - 01/16/18 06:43 PM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: Dennis Wright]  
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
Dennis Wright Offline
Serious Contributor
Dennis Wright  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 195
GA, USA
Hello Mr. Ronnie Dean,
First, I would like to say thank you sir for taking time to review my song lyric and for giving your feedback. I'm currently working on revising some of the lines in this song lyric. Thanks again sir for commenting.
Happy New Year
Dennis,

Last edited by Dennis Wright; 01/16/18 06:44 PM.
#1137085 - 02/14/18 12:14 AM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: Dennis Wright]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,408
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,408
Indianapolis, IN USA
Hi Dennis!


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@aol.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney
Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..."

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#1137103 - 02/14/18 05:47 AM Re: '' Rhonda Again'' [Re: Dennis Wright]  
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 102
Alanjack Offline
Serious Contributor
Alanjack  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 102
I love the story-line so many women live trapped in these relationships struggling to hold on to a dream that has long gone. great theme.


Just a writer of words

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