Who's Online Now
30 registered members (ben willis, Dave Rice, 9ne, Calvin, Barry David Butler, Brian Austin Whitney, couchgrouch, Adam Jacob, Colin Ward, Andy Kemp, 6 invisible), and 229 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Posts: 4,192
Joined: November 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Out of Time (southern rock)
by Dave Rice. 01/21/18 03:42 PM
Freaked me and the band out.
by Ray E. Strode. 01/21/18 02:46 PM
"I'm My Biggest Fan"
by 9ne. 01/21/18 02:29 PM
Overalls
by Calvin. 01/21/18 01:31 PM
"Memories of You"...
by Maroon_Corey. 01/21/18 01:14 PM
Now They’re (She’s) Haunting Me (in which person?)
by Neil Cotton. 01/21/18 12:49 PM
Now!
by Neil Cotton. 01/21/18 11:30 AM
Be part of Nashville scene without living there?
by RonnieDean. 01/21/18 10:50 AM
Old Navy Footlocker
by couchgrouch. 01/21/18 10:45 AM
IMDB Closing their message boards
by John Lawrence Schick. 01/21/18 09:12 AM
I'm Already There
by Travis david. 01/21/18 05:22 AM
ISLE OF EVERFREE
by Travis david. 01/21/18 05:19 AM
Frozen by my good mate Mike D
by Andy Kemp. 01/21/18 04:30 AM
Lonely Room
by Deej56. 01/20/18 11:44 PM
On The Wings Of Angels
by Barry David Butler. 01/20/18 11:39 PM
What can I do to make your year end better?
by Brian Austin Whitney. 01/20/18 11:28 PM
They Said It Couldn't Be Done
by Deej56. 01/20/18 11:18 PM
So She Tells Him
by Deej56. 01/20/18 10:48 PM
FAWM 2018 - starting soon. :)
by DonnaMarilyn. 01/20/18 04:16 PM
Making Great Demos with BIAB
by Calvin. 01/20/18 02:30 PM
MAB "MUSICAL STUFF" videos for Facebook
by Marc Barnette. 01/20/18 01:41 PM
Attraction
by Johnny Daubert. 01/20/18 01:15 PM
I have a question about cd submissions.
by RonnieDean. 01/20/18 12:58 PM
'' Everything is going to be o.k.''
by Dennis Wright. 01/20/18 12:58 PM
Spotify Lawsuit. (Go get em!)
by Brian Austin Whitney. 01/20/18 12:52 PM
Off Our Rockers on ETown!
by RonnieDean. 01/20/18 12:45 PM
What's In the Air
by Travis david. 01/20/18 08:43 AM
A little success
by Everett Adams. 01/20/18 08:17 AM
Here I am WANTING something again!
by Dominique H. Preyer. 01/20/18 07:25 AM
Question About A 1920's Blues Song
by Dominique H. Preyer. 01/20/18 01:15 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,292
Kevin Emmrich 10,533
Travis david 10,453
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,751
Mike Dunbar 8,574
glynda 8,560
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,841
Corey 7,357
couchgrouch 7,241
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,429
Joe Wrabek 6,400
Dave Rice 6,337
ben willis 6,089
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,718
Linda Sings 5,604
Vicarn 5,372
niteshift 5,343
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,609
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,350
Neil Cotton 4,205
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
TamsNumber4 4,005
nightengale 3,965
Roy Cooper 3,912
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,761
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
beechnut79 3,293
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
E Swartz 2,996
PopTodd 2,876
Harriet Ames 2,868
Nigel Quin 2,802
MidniteBob 2,706
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Nelson 2,459
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,158
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
Ray Thyer 1,929
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
maccharles 1,803
floyd jane 1,713
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Noel Downs 1,620
Iggy 1,599
Cal 1,574
Rick Heenan 1,562
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,451
RogerS 1,445
Ralph Blight 1,440
Chuck Crowe 1,435
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
GocartMoz 1,261
Janice & Bud 1,243
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,228
Glen King 1,210
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,083
Gerry 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
joro 1,045
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
lane1777 952
IronKnee 912
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
90 dB 745
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
Andy K 733
Jackie444 722
ant 710
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
9ne 665
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Pat Hardy 591
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
Irwin 532
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
Roderic 522
Moosesong 519
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
R&M 447
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
Deej56 398
EdPerrone 398
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
iggyiggy 378
Cecilee 377
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Alek 352
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1134925 - 01/13/18 02:04 AM So She Tells Him  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Hi, all . . and Happy New Year!

Sorry to start out the year with a sad one, but I've taken this one as far as I can. Hope it's worth the listen.

So She Tells Him


(V) By her side, the tender heart of a soul she can’t surrender.
In his eyes, reflections of fading memories.
Still he talks of younger days,
about a girl he loved back when;
and he wonders where she’s gone—
and so she tells him.

(V) Separate lives, the one he’s got and the one he can’t remember.
Endless nights, she sings the song he always loved to hear.
And he tries to sing along,
just the way he always did,
but he wonders how it goes—
and so she tells him.

(B) And the pictures on the wall
tell of loves and lives of kin—
their only child they lost in Vietnam.
So she worries when she’s gone
who’s gonna take care of him,
‘cause her time’s near run,
and she don’t have very long.

(V) By her side, on the frozen ground of a cold and wet December;
in his eyes, reflections of the rose upon the grave—
As he stares down at the stone,
a tear rolls from his chin,
and he wonders who she was—
and so I tell him.

(c)2018 DJ Lekich

Last edited by Deej56; 01/13/18 02:50 PM.
#1134927 - 01/13/18 08:02 AM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,372
Vicarn Offline
Top 50 Poster
Vicarn  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,372
UK
Beautiful lyric about what appears to be that curse of old age.
I love a sad one.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold
#1134930 - 01/13/18 08:34 AM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,205
Neil Cotton Online content
Top 100 Poster
Neil Cotton  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,205
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I like story songs.
The first line does not want me to hear more...It is convoluted, unclear
try...
(V) By her side, he's her heart and soul she can’t surrender.

The music fits with the story


http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#1134934 - 01/13/18 09:58 AM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,337
Dave Rice Online content
Top 40 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,337
Texas
Hi Deej:

I read the lyric first, then listened. It is a stunning lyric and story. Of course it's sad... but then, if one considers his/her own eventual outcome... in that context... life is sad. The melody is fine but... to my ancient ears, you may want to find a way to soften the vocal... almost to a whisper. I have a similar vocal delivery and don't know about your studio options or resources... so it may be impractical for you to re-cut the song. Please don't take my thoughts to be negative. I think you are holding a gem in your capable song-writing hands. You may want to consider having a demo produced. We have people here who can do that for you promptly and inexpensively. Feel free to PM me if you care to explore options... and I'm not part of the solution... only an interested bystander. Thanks for sharing this lovely song. ----Dave

#1134940 - 01/13/18 12:36 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 408
TC Perkins Online content
Top 500 Poster
TC Perkins  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2015
Posts: 408
Virginia
Melancholy 1+1 with a vocal that reminds me a bit of John Prine.

The song is good and the performance sounds okay. The lyrics are well conceived.

The good thing about the EQ is that the vocal and the guitar certainly don't fight over real estate. However, the vocal needs more warmth and the guitar needs more highs. As it is, the guitar is very muffled and background sounding. The guitar leans left and would sound much better centered with a wider stereo sound. The vocals in the center were fine.

With a couple tweaks, this would sound really good.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1134944 - 01/13/18 02:53 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Thanks Vic and Neil for listening.

Neil, I hear you on the first line and think I got similar feedback when I posted the lyrics to the forum. I have played with it some (a love she can't surrender, a man she can't surrender), but kept coming back to what I started with. Your suggestion is a fine one (though it doesn't quite fit the melody) and I may play with it some more. Appreciate the feedback much.

Regards to you both,

Deej

#1134945 - 01/13/18 03:04 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Dave,

I hope you know I wouldn't take any feedback from folks on this board as negative. Everyone has been nothing but helpful and supportive--so no worries there. And if fact, you are spot on. This isn't really a tune suited for my voice. I sing at one volume--loud! smile And while I wish I could soften my voice at times, it sadly is what it is. For some songs it works OK, but this would benefit from a less, umm, harsh sounding, much softer vocal.

Taking your and TC's comments below I tried to adjust the audio a bit using my novice GarageBand skills. Though I'm not sure it makes much more of a difference, I reposted the song with the newer version. Again, it's a bit beyond my talents to do much more with this.

I haven't considered going the demo route with anything I've done to this point. I just don't consider much of what I've written as quite good enough to engage in that way . . . yet. But I'm going to keep at it, so maybe tomorrow's the day I write a number one hit! smirk

Hope all is well with you. Really appreciate your input.

Deej

#1134946 - 01/13/18 03:08 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Hey, TC,

Thanks for dropping in and taking the time to listen and comment. As you'll see in my note to Dave above, I totally agree on the vocal. "Warmth" is not a word anyone would ever use to describe my voice :), and I agree it's not really suited for this tune. With your suggestions in mind, I did play around with it a bit and then reposted a new version. Not sure it's any better, but tried to soften the vocal as much as I could with limited skills.

Appreciate the feedback and hope you are enjoying your weekend.

All the best,

Deej

#1134970 - 01/13/18 07:21 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 11,869
Scott Campbell Offline
Scott Campbell  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 11,869
Lakeland, FL, USA
Beautiful song, Deej. And well suited to a sparse production of guitar and vocal.

I wonder what a female vocal would sound like on this. There is really nothing that locks the gender...

Scott

#1134999 - 01/14/18 02:52 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,459
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,459
Baltimore, MD
Your work is always worth the listen, Deej.
Beautiful vocals and lovely progression and guitar work.


"Like his word___ I heard his aim is true
and he aims to send me str8 to Hell___ for loving you"
Nelson
#1135022 - 01/14/18 11:03 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Scott, thanks for the listen. You know, when Dave Rice made the comment about going softer (and I knew that 's beyond my vocal abilities), the thought of having a female vocal came to mind. You're right--it's a gender neutral tune and maybe that's the way to go. Great suggestion. Now I just need to find someone who's up for giving it a go. I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks again.

Kindest regards,

Deej

#1135023 - 01/14/18 11:11 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Nelson,

Appreciate the kind comments. That you think what I put up here is always worth a listen . . . well, it's nice to hear (as I don't alway think so). I wish I could have done this song a bit more justice--but I've gotten some great feedback from everyone, which is really helpful. Thanks for stopping in and giving this one a listen.

All the best,

Deej

#1135033 - 01/15/18 12:53 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 470
Paul Churchfield Offline
Top 500 Poster
Paul Churchfield  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 470
Nashville, TN
Deej,

I also like the sparse arrangement.
It suits the song, sad and melancholoy.
An old couple, he's got alzheimer's and she worries about leaving him behind.
Sad indeed but nicely done.

Thanks for sharing,
Paul

#1135217 - 01/18/18 11:18 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Paul Churchfield]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Appreciate the kind comments, Paul. Glad the story came through, which was my aim.

All the best,

Deej

#1135233 - 01/19/18 04:37 AM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,292
Calvin Online content
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,292
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Deej,

Well written with a very nice delivery.
First of all, the way I sound - WHO AM I to ever say ANYTHING about another persons vocals.
At the start of the song, the vocal was a bit harsh to me and as I eased into the song I was ok with the way you sounded.
I think you did a nice job, & I'm glad I listened.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1135253 - 01/19/18 01:17 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,662
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 100 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,662
California
Hi Deej,

I'm noticing a consistent pattern of a warm, sincere shade of literacy that runs through your work that puts it in the same category lyric-wise (if we must categorize) as folks like Townes Van Zandt and yes Prine, and this is one of the finer examples of that from you.

This is a song to cherish and listen to again and again cuz it reveals more with each listening. It seems every word and phrase was wrought with much care and attention.

Your mixes are improving. I can understand how your voice might be hard to mix well, but don't fret cuz you are a truly gifted singer and the rest will come in time.

Love this.. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1135324 - Yesterday at 10:31 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Calvin,

Thanks for the encouraging words. The thing with vocals is that a voice should fit the tune. I'm my harshest judge--but, trust me, my vocal here is not the worst I've laid down. But I agree with all the feedback above--it needs to be softer. I did try to re-do the vocal . . . well, not so bad, but not good enough to share. I'll keep working it.

And, BTW you're being a bit modest on your vocals. Songs fit the singer. And yours fit you perfectly.

Best regards,

Deej

#1135325 - Yesterday at 10:48 PM Re: So She Tells Him [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 398
Mike,

Those are very kind and encouraging words--I take them to heart. And thanks for appreciating the care taken on the lyrics. I can't say I'm as thoughtful with every lyric I write, but a bit more so on this one. For the most part, I've a rationale for why I use the words I do on a particular line. It may not work for others, but it seems right for me . . . at least when I'm writing it. I imagine it may be similar for you with your work on demos (which, by the way, your excel at): Others may disagree with your choices and the final outcome, but I'm betting you have very specific reasons for making the choices you do. Perhaps the burden of the artist?

All the best, Mike, and thanks again for the feedback.

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MetalHeader, BritBoy, spotlightrecords, ChristinaLenway, ThreeChords
20983 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics117,439
Posts1,105,792
Members20,983
Average Posts Daily48
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"Sometimes, the best thing you can say, isn't the easiest thing" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0