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#1133644 12/11/17 08:22 PM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,160
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C
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,160
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Destiny Takes a Heart ©2017 Robert George BMI

I was sitting in a Paris bistro all alone
Killing time until my midnight flight back home
When she looked up from her sketchpad at my uniform
I could see her red hair was a rose without a thorn

Then she asked to sketch me in the dancing candlelight
And her voice was like a French kiss in the lonely night

Love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines forevermore
When destiny takes a heart

She began to draw my face with charcoal,
And she found a spark within my dark soul
Where I’d long believed my faith was truly dead
She was mostly blessed but partly tragic,
And her eyes were full of ancient magic
Born from when the moon and sea were newlyweds

Then I said goodbye because I had a plane to catch
Sensing that my hidden scars were captured in her sketch

Love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines eternally
When destiny takes a heart

I was down south dwelling in the Quarter,
Tanqueray had filled my past with mortar
I’d mistaken feeling numb for feeling free
I was living in a kitchenette there,
Ev’ry night I’d walk to Lafayette Square
Where musicians played a part in healing me

And a fog bank sat upon the river like a sphinx
Then I saw her curled up on the long grass like a lynx

Love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines forevermore
When destiny takes a heart

She was eking out a living painting in the square
I was eking out a death by living in despair
And she led me by the spirit to a rented room
Where tomorrow had been woven by Fortuna’s loom

And she had my Paris portrait on a wicker shelf
And she said my sadness was reflected in herself

Love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines eternally
When destiny takes a heart
O it shines forevermore
When destiny takes a heart

We joined hands like time and fate and waltzed without a song
Shadows seemed to whisper and the silence sang along
Some believe the universe is moon and stars and math
And yet it conspired to align our lonely paths

Love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines eternally
When destiny takes a heart

O love is like the light
Shining from a secret star
And it shines forevermore
When destiny takes a heart

When destiny takes a heart
When destiny takes a heart…

Last edited by couchgrouch; 12/18/17 05:05 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 118
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 118
This is great subject matter here. I like the story and the way it is being told. There are just a few spots that need a little bit of nudging for me. I would use the French kiss wording, as there is a distinct image that pops into everyone's mind with that. I think you were trying to connect the fact that she is French, but to me it seems a little harsh for the intent of the message. Maybe soft or tender or some other description as we already know the subject is in Paris, France. Of course if you were going for that imagery then my comments are all wet. . . .LoL The only other thing is the first line of the last verse; We joined hands like time and fate and waltzed without a song. That is a great image but "like time and fate" doesn't capture the moment for me. Maybe something like destiny or something like that; "We joined hands as destiny had cast, and waltzed without (a) song." I really liked it though.

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,160
Likes: 5
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C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,160
Likes: 5
Thanks Earl. I appreciate your well thought out comments. This is only my preference but I wouldn't use "destiny" in that line because it's already in the chorus' title line and also because I wanted a little more color in that spot. Thanks again, though. smile

Last edited by couchgrouch; 12/18/17 04:55 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 118
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 118
Hey no problem. . . . I figured since it was the last verse with the song going out it would tie the whole thing together in the end. Really liked this though . . . great feel and flavor.

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
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A
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Another great storyline, once again I'm impressed.


Just a writer of words

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