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#1132399 - 11/13/17 11:12 AM Say Cheese and Smile  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Say Cheese and Smile

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13655461


Bad attitudes and punctured tires
Hold you back until they’re changed
Kicking tires just gets you wired
Laugh at life helps on the way

Don’t be a pebble in a shoe
It inflames your soul
Or a bad beat in a tune
It ruins the groove
Like your photo’s being taken
Say cheese and smile
Say cheese and smile

One trick works when you're down
Kick butt makes things happen
Mopin’ around face like a hound
Never gets your tail waggin'

Don’t be a pebble in a shoe
It inflames your soul
Or a bad beat in a tune
It ruins the groove
Like your photo’s being taken
Say cheese and smile
Say cheese and smile

B~
Not everyone believes the Science
Some call it fake
When the body gets to movin’
Feel good's the take away

Don’t be a pebble in a shoe
It inflames your soul
Or a bad beat in a tune
It ruins the groove
Like your photo’s being taken
Say cheese and smile
Say cheese and smile

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/18/17 11:38 PM.
#1132443 - 11/14/17 07:27 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
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RainyDayMan  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia
Love those opening lines:
Bad attitudes and punctured tires
Hold you back until they’re changed
- that's just wonderful.

Great philosophy and a good fun song!

#1132447 - 11/14/17 08:43 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Thanks RDM...They a song should have a good first line or 2. LOL

#1132555 - 11/17/17 09:04 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Posts: 481
Virginia
I loved the first line of the tune "Bad attitudes and punctured tires" - those two definitely go together!

The music bed is decent but the vocals sound pitchy and too much midrange (kind of underwater sounding). You could fix this by taking out some mids in the 500Hz range.

Your lyrics have some good lines but I felt they were a bit inconsistent throughout. I think if you craft this tune a bit more, and work on locking down the vocal melody it could be really good.

Fun song.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1132597 - 11/18/17 11:33 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Thanks for the tips and encouragement.
I have a dip at 400Hz...I'll resing it and do the 500

lyric is a bit inconsistent ....how? please & thanks

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/18/17 11:37 PM.
#1132621 - 11/19/17 04:31 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
David Snyder Offline
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David Snyder  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
North Carolina

Hey, I like this song!

For mixing and mastering purposes (or feedback on that rather) I was separating out in my head the vocals and the instrumentation, which I will henceforth always refer to in this forum as "the bed."

(I usually mix down a fully mixed bed and put that into a separate mixing workstation with vocals before I do a final mix.) Vocals are a .....well you know what I mean.

I thought the bed was fine. It had a little bit of a lo fi quality to it, but a lot of people are doing that these days on purpose.

It was the vocals only that I thought needed more clarity. I was wondering if you you have a microphone shield on your mic stand. They change EVERYTHING. I heard what I thought was a lot of room noise and the vocal registry just flying out into space, losing a lot of tones. If you have a mic shield and a condenser mic and sing up close, you don't have to do much Eq-ing later, maybe just a tad of reverb or whatever effect floats your boat. But no plug in known to man can save you later if all of your voice has just flown out the window while you were recording. It needs to all be trapped right there in front of the mic with nowhere else to go.

That is what I heard. I could be wrong, but it sounds more like a vocal recording technique tweak is needed more than an EQ tweak, per se.

I really liked the song though!!! Great lyrics.

smile


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1132623 - 11/19/17 05:27 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
Virginia

Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Thanks for the tips and encouragement.
I have a dip at 400Hz...I'll resing it and do the 500

lyric is a bit inconsistent ....how? please & thanks


The lyrics are good overall, don't get me wrong. It's just you have some REALLY good lines, and some lines that just are not at that same level. You start out with a fantastic opening stanza so you set the expectations high!

The second half of the first verse needs to have the same pizazz as the first couple of lines.

The last line in the 3rd verse just whiffs. You need a strong closer right there for the tune.

The chorus is excellent.

Anyway, that is my honest opinion.

Regards,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1132631 - 11/19/17 11:22 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: David Snyder]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I really appreciate your comments re the mix. I will try some of this.

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/19/17 11:22 PM.
#1132632 - 11/19/17 11:26 PM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: TC Perkins]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by TC Perkins

Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Thanks for the tips and encouragement.
I have a dip at 400Hz...I'll resing it and do the 500

lyric is a bit inconsistent ....how? please & thanks


The lyrics are good overall, don't get me wrong. It's just you have some REALLY good lines, and some lines that just are not at that same level. You start out with a fantastic opening stanza so you set the expectations high!

The second half of the first verse needs to have the same pizazz as the first couple of lines.

The last line in the 3rd verse just whiffs. You need a strong closer right there for the tune.

The chorus is excellent.

Anyway, that is my honest opinion.

Regards,
TC


whiff? sounds like my gold game.

I was going for biofeedback but it sounded too clinical.
Exercise making endorphins etc. body's own morphine.

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/19/17 11:26 PM.
#1132639 - 11/20/17 06:43 AM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,074
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Posts: 11,074
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Good lyric intro reminded me of the Kinks ( the band no the lifestyle preference)
Yes a good listen
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1132644 - 11/20/17 09:02 AM Re: Say Cheese and Smile [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Travis david
Good lyric intro reminded me of the Kinks ( the band no the lifestyle preference)
Yes a good listen
Travis

Thanks Travis


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