11 members (Fdemetrio, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, bennash, couchgrouch, Bill Draper, 3 invisible),
1,219
guests, and
257
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
]
I know it's not easy to be in your shoes Your family has often forbidden your views...
You've cried on my shoulder cause things have been bad and it hurt my heart deeply to see you so sad.
I've seen how defeat often caused you to hurt, by dragging your dreams from the stars to the dirt... and that freedom you seek just keeps slipping away, cause employment is low and the jobs just don't pay.
I've lain awake nights with these thoughts on my mind, wishing for some ways to help you unwind but always I hear that sweet whisper above.
"The problems aren't hopeless, The answer is love." Well, I can't wear your shoes, but I can walk beside you though I can't make your family give back what's denied you,
But my shoulder is there to help hide your sorrows and my heart will be with you a million tomorrows.
I've fought off defeat and I'll help to fight for you, your dreams mean as much as the ways I adore you,
If you step forth courageously freedom will find you, and patience will put unemployment behind you.
I'll share some nights with you before I must sleep. but if my love can't help, then remember to keep...
Your ears always tuned to that whisper above,
"The problems aren't hopeless The answer is Love. ©-MFB III
Last edited by MFB III; 10/22/10 03:54 AM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 159
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 159 |
Hi MFB,
I like the message in this song. There are some lines I don't understand like:
"Your family has often forbidden you views..."
and some phrases I really like:
"a million tomorrows."
I'd like to see the chorus developed more on this one incorporating "The Answer is Love", but a good start.
Carlos
Carlos Tabora Songwriter/Pianist
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
Hi, Carlos, She was not allowed to date certain sects of men, even though she believed in all men, she was bound by many rules which she rebelled against. I am working on a longer chorus. Thanks for stopping by, I'll catch one of yours in the A.M. My pillow is calling me...lol~~~MFB III
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498 Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498 Likes: 1 |
MFB,
I like this one a lot! And at the moment I don't have any criticism to add. (so then what's with the book? LOL) I could wrack my brain for something and may still do so but I read thru it and it flowed very naturally. It really doesn't matter to me what views were forbidden for this story... It's really irrelevant. Family throws wet blanket on dreams... And even tho we press on, we've already been punched in the stomach.
I really like this song a lot and can't wait to hear it. You've got an open invite to call on me for any musical help.
Thanks again for sharing your work! -Paul
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi MFB, I like it as is usaully the case. You have a strong talent for writing Dottie
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,302
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|