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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
Just an ordinary day when I went up to change his diaper, in the middle of his cleaning using my third baby wiper when suddenly in horror I found something quite profound all crusty, kind of molding perched up there just like a crown, a monstrous growth unfolding ..........that was grainy and quite swollen some strange protrusion that just sprang up on the tip of his wing-wang.
Perhaps some kind of wicked spore I'm sure it wasn't there before, I know I almost wet "my" pants then nearly collapsed on the floor, might it be a Siamese penis? needing treatment by hygienists? perhaps his gene pools latest bloomer? ...a rare diseases, or fleshy tumor? then I was rushing like a mad man for the door. I grabbed my phone to tell his doctor my babies schlong came with a proctor, but I didn't want him thinking I was.... totally off my rocker, so I took a second glance... at what was in those plastic pants.
Chorus-
Being a parent takes some gumption just stay calm, make no assumption, count to ten, over obstructions you think predict your child's destruction.
Because my boy he seemed so happy he just giggled and he wiggled, and it didn't make much sense, that what was stuck with quite a splatter on his one inch long flesh squiggle, was not causing any pain or even making my boy cry, at what was blocking his third eye.
Since I'm always such a curious soul, I used a Q-tip as a probe on this massive new intrusion that had caused me great confusion glued upon his miniature pole, then suddenly I gained control.
It popped right off into a soggy heap, next to a dry one lying deep but now exposed within the folds of his pamper that each day helps keeps, my boy from springing leaks.
Chorus-
Being a parent takes some gumption just stay calm, make no assumptions, count to ten, over obstructions you think might bring your child's destruction.
Laughing hysterically, I realized, I had been fussing about nothing that should ever keep me paralyzed, it was no demon from below, it was just a Cheerio.
That had accidently tumbled from his chubby little fingers, down his pampers where for hours it had settled in and lingered, till it soaked into a clinger A monster doughnut, simply bloated from a ring of oats once toasted.
Quite chagrined by my prognosis and now relieved by my diagnosis that I'd been stricken with stupidity, and had at long last gained lucidity.
So I re-pampered him up snugly and for many weeks to come, I fell to laughing ch, so hard at how I could have been that dumb, because the only cure he needed was just a quick flick of my thumb, and of course you know I never, ever dared to tell his MUM!
And I'll probably be chuckling many months more I suppose, whenever it comes time again for me to change his clothes, or in the supermarket down amidst those cereal rows each time I see all of those boxes full of Cheerios.
©-MFB III Productions Artwhimsically Yours Studio.
Last edited by MFB III; 10/18/10 07:06 AM.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Hi MFB III
Where do you get these ideas. lol
The whole thing held together so well and again had me at the end. I was feeling sympathy
Well done a real good write
God Bless Roy and Helen
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
Thanks Roy, actually...believe it or not it is a true story, as a new dad I panicked over a tiny doughnut of oat that had swollen to a size and girth that caused me serious concern, But common sense prevailed in this cereal thriller. Now I need to write some music that is a lot like Jim Staffords work. It will be a challenge I will enjoy. LOL~~~Thanks for your comments~~~MFB III
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