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Human Rescources? My dead ass...

I've been on the job market for a few months now and I can definately see why people say they hate looking for a job.I've been doing what I think I can , pawing through jobs and applications , resume writing instructions and , I'm not real impressed! First off , you're supposed to bragg about your abilities and accomplishments without that you write in the first person . Isn't that a little like Chewebacca's buddy telling him "to fly casualand not look like you're flying casual".
When opportunity knocks "i tried to let it in" (Grand Funk Railroad) There is this magazine called National Employment weekly < or , something like that , anyway I went on line and found the editor's e-mail address and offered to write an article that would turn the HR world on it's ear I also said I wasn't looking for a big commission for writing the article , just the opportunity to write it and list it on my resume as an accomplishment , nope! wasn't happening. I get back one of those mailer demons saying my mail was undeliverable , funny thing was , it took 24 hours , or more to show up - that made me suspicious , or is that paranoid? , whatever...
First of all , if HR was doing their job correctly IMHO they wouldn't have thousands and thousands of applications to pour over; because theoretically , if they'd done their job the specifics listed in the advertisement would appeal to the few , or maybe , to the one applicant that fit the job description to a tee. Perfection is hard , if not impossible to achieve . I'm practical enough to realize this , but ; greedy enough to expect a better approach to perfection than iss currently the accepted practice.
Second of all , if you think about it , by narrowing the search criteria they'd have more time to spend with each application than ten seconds and that would give them the time they need to find what they were looking for and more time , presumably to actually answer the phone and talk to people interested in their job offering.
Like I said , I'm just VENTING ,"pay no mind to the man behind the curtain ."

For the fun of it
Pete Larsen © Aug 2008

Dear Pete...

very sorry to hear this Pete...I'm assuming this isn't fiction.... Good luck to you....and hope you are ok....

best...
Kaley

Hi Pete !!

So sorry to hear this, as I just came across it - I'm a bit late.... so maybe you now have a job already... Anyway write the article..... you can always post it on a blog,,,, there are lots out there or you can make your own blog, while you are job hunting... Don't waste the time, energy or words.. write the story - while you can ! Hugs and best wishes, jm

I am a mortgage broker Pete--- I've been looking for a while now and there is NOTHING out there for me...it sucks...hang in there

Kaley,
Nope , it isn't fiction. I'm more than okay , and should write more , but ; I've got this honeydo list that would make the guy that used to have his liver picked out by a bird and grew it back every night groan more than a little bit.
Best to You,
Pete

JM,
Thanks for thinking about me buddy, I'm the one that's late.
Fact is , when the cooler / crisper air of this week came rolling down from Canada a thought crossed my mind of dancin' on mountain-hardwood floors. Good thing I havn't lost my magination...
I'll hang in,
Pete

Herbie,
Thank You for your thoughts and I'll do my best , you too...
One of Brian's famous quotes comes to mind , you know , the one about "not quitting your day job" I had to laugh. Not to worry though , I didn't quit my day-job to persue a career in music(though ; it might be fun) with all the comedians out of work , there can't be much room for me in the moneymaking end of the Music Industry. I already knew that much...
Pete

Pete,

I spent a lot of years on the other side of the fence. What seems frustrating to you on one side is just reality on the other. It doesn't matter how perfectly you write a listing for job requirements or what you're looking for. It won't, for one second, stop unqualified people from applying in droves. Have you ever seen those American Idol auditions? Where the people seem like they are CRAZY for actually thinking they are qualified to be a singer? Well, those are also the same people who apply for any given job. I've had people just as insanely unqualified apply for every level of job you can imagine. I remember spending time with people applying for a job to install radios in cars and telling me, at length, how they got their experience breaking into cars and stealing the radios. I could go on and on. From people with dead fish sweaty palmed limp handshakes who wouldn't ever make eye contact and spoke in a quiet monotone mumble who wanted to be trade show presenters to any number of totally unqualified people who didn't fit ANY of the requirements of any kind on a listing.

Does that mean that there aren't really lame interviewers or hiring people out there? Not at all. I worked with them as well. Most people have absolutely no business at all doing interviews (frankly. they usually shouldn't have gotten the job themselves...) but employers rarely realize how important it is to have a qualified interviewer who knows what they are doing making the calls. They think if someone is a good hardware department manager, then they'll be a good interviewer for someone who wants to work there.. not the case. But they let them do the interviews anyway.

And HR people themselves are often even WORSE at doing the interviews. Because they may have training in what to look for etc.. but they usually have no clue about what the job is, or what knowledge is needed or skills to be successful. So they can interview just fine, but they have no idea how to make a decision on whether someone is qualified.

I interviewed and hired personally thousands of people for several companies. I also found myself looking for work after 2 of those companies shut down. Both sides are frustrating and disheartening. Both sides bring a lot of unqualified people to the mix. The one difference you should keep in mind that will server you well is this: It's a buyers market. And the employers are essentially the "customers" in this exchange, not the potential employee. You have to give them what they want, exactly in the way they want it, no matter HOW maddening and illogical it is. Your customer can be unreasonable, stupid, ignorant, unqualified, unfair and use all sorts of poor judgement and it doesn't matter. They are YOUR customer and it's up to you to make them happy and get them to buy. Or, they'll buy from someone else. That's a reality you need to think about in everthing you do.

Some suggestions: Make their lives EASY. Even if they don't deserve it. Do things EXACTLY as they ask, even if it is stupid. Often the people doing the interviews don't like the rules either.. they didn't usually make them, but they are stuck using them.. so follow them (i.e. little things like completely filling out every form, even when they are dumb or repetitive or you've answered it 100 times previously...). We used to eliminate people solely based on whether they followed the first instruction given to them which was to fill out their application fully. If they couldn't follow that one direction, or wanted to argue they'd already given us that info etc.. it was a pretty bad sign down the road. Also remember that policies are set up for the masses.. meaning that they work when you have to interview and hire hundreds or thousands of people. It may be a stupid process when they want to interview and hire YOU.. but they don't write the rules for you. Thinking of that will decrease some of the frustration you have.

Always use humor and be positive. Most interviewers don't even like doing it. Make it easy for them. And when an opportunity comes to get them to talk about themselves or things they are interested in (even if off topic) the better. Also, always encourage interviewers to do as much talking as possible. That's the opposite of what they are supposed to do, but it's always a good sign for YOU when they do it. That means they are now trying to impress YOU... that's a good sign you're winning. People don't ramble on and talk about what they do or tell stories about anything unless they are looking for YOUR approval. So let them do it and you'll be on your way to more success (if they have any say in it). It's a trick that most people fight against. They get in an interview and THEY want to impress the interviewer and fight for talk time.. don't do it.

I could go on and on.. (you forget how much you know about something when you have had to use it in a while) but just know that searching for a job is frustrating for everyone and is rarely ever a pleasant experience. You're at a huge disadvantage and you may have to kiss a lot of ugly toads in hopes of finding the princess. But you have to do it and all of us who have been there understand that.

Brian

Thanks Brian,
Some of what you say I kind of knew , the rest would have taken a lot of thought , or experience to figure out . Right on the money with some not having a clue about the actual job they're reviewing you for and that is seriously frustrating. I'll look back on this era with a laugh , if I ever get the hang of kissing toads. Appreciate the feedback,
Pete

Good luck in your job hunt. This may only apply to some professions, but you may want to look up old coworkers from way back when.

I was out of work in 2001 for two months, and could not even get an interview. It would have been a lot longer than 2 months except I was lucky enough to run into an old co worker and I wasn't embarressed to say I was out of work. She told me my old boss from 2 jobs and 7 years earlier had an opening. The job was never advertised, and by the specs I was not qualified. But my old boss knew I was hard working and a fast learner, so when I called her, she asked me a couple of questions on the phone and hired me.

Proving the music industry axiom applies everyone.. it's not who you know.. it's who knows you. = )

Brian

I was a tech writer (documentation specialist) for a major governmental operation being handled through private entities. I had 30 years on the job and was responsible for quad zillions of dollars. I knew and know where most of the "bodies are buried." I had a plush office in San Juan, PR. One day the head honcho called up - "we're eliminating your department - you're out." I was 54 years old. Since I have a master's degree I landed a job teaching at a community college ... for 25% of my former salary. I am now (forced) retired. I apparently can't be hired - every interview ends the same - "too much experience, too high previous salary." I teach on-line classes, the only work I can get - another 75% cut in salary. I'll join your club.

HIDee Brother Pete!

Sorry t'hear you're havin' a time of it...but Keep-On Keepin'-On seems to be the Theme Song these days.

When I returned Stateside to Tampa in '73, I went thru 6 jobs my first 11 months. WAS about to get fired from #6 when I had the Good Fortune to get hired off the Corner I was sellin' Used Furniture (for this Gestapo-Like German Lady) when the town's Leadin' Clockmaker took an interest in me & my Clock Collection.

Year & a Half Later, I took & passed the State's Exam & opened My Own Business..been at it ever-since. Consider workin' for a Temp Agency...(I was a "Kelly Girl" for a while/WOULDA still been employed for GTE's Drafting Section IF they hadna had a major layoff..I'd endeared-myself to all I'd worked with there.)

Wife also did the Kelly Route..& got an 8-yr hitch with Jim Walter Corp's Accounting Section as a result...(Quit when Son #2 was en-route). The Temp Route pays OK while ya keep up The Quest..(& some folks prefer the Fluidity & STAY in Temp Mode.)

I wish ya Best of Luck & Speedy GOOD Luck durin' The Huntin' Phase. Think ya Should pen that Article & Submit it...ya never know...it might do what ya want it to...Never Hurts To Try!

Best Wishes Amigo,
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan