JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum New lyric writing challenge all aboard!

Hey Joe

Yes I know the feeling... There are some that would probably have run me down with a bus as well lol.

Yknow that's not a bad idea about the compilation cd... my lyric on here is intended to be a the line of a Ray Steven stlye or even Red sovine... So I think it might be right up your alley.. I'd be elated if ya wanted to give it a shot... otherwise I'm sure I could, but I think you'd pull it off better . Thanks again for sharing with us and we might just work on that there cd. Maybe one of us could tackle some music for Kristi's and send it to her and then get her to record her vocal... any rate Calvin already beat us to the punch with his!
Derek

Really? I'll give it a look. I think I might be able to do Red Sovine--as I recall, he didn't have much of a voice. Not sure about Ray Stevens. Mine had more of a calypso beat--wshich I'm not sure I could re-create on the guitar (I'm sure I could do it on the guitar, but I'm not sure it'd sound like calypso when it was done).

So how many of these Intrepid Writers able to do their own recording, and how many would need help? And how many would need music? You're right--we *could* do this. I'm potentially available to help.

(After I wrote this, I went back and counted. 12 people, including me. Of those, six--you, me, Amy, Calvin, John, and JoiceMarie--have OMD links in their signatures (Soundclick or MySpace) that suggests they have the ability to record something. (And we know Calvin already did.) Five--Glynda, Kristi, Lynn, Stan, and Betharoo herself--do not, and I know at least three of those do not write music. And I don't know about Wy. (Wy, are you reading?) Doable, like I said. Probably need to do two of these--sounds like we may need one for Glyn, too.)

joe

Hi Derek

Thanks so much for the very kind review of this little lyric. I do thank you for getting me to ponder and drag it out. It means a lot to me when a lyric is based upon a true experience OR about someone or something that I care about. Then when I have music singing with passion seems more natural. So, in this case, now that I have more distance from the 'therapeutic' moment, the music , just may happen. We'll see. But I too can relate and I happy to hear you find something here too. That's very flattering. jm

Hi Again Derek

Yanno, I too have also questioned how I could possibly belly laugh at someone falling on their face. I''m truly appalled at myself really ! Glad that I am not the only one who might ponder these things.... I usually hang on to the fact that at least the person in the video is not dead - after all they would not include those, now would they?

Nice job of storytelling and you made me smile at you and myself. jm

Hey Joe...

Yup I went back and checked... you're absolutely right about the totals... I didn't realize you were thinking a calypso beat with yours... funny thing I have an instrumental I did that has a regae calypso feel.. I think I could pull that one off.. Well sure I'll get the word out to the others mentioned... (looks like Joice might be able to get her done) and we'll see about making a broken record .. just might be fun!
Derek

Hi Joice

I had no idea this came from a true experience, but I can see how it would definitly be a therapeutic excersize.. I'm glad you have some distance from those circumstances now... as it makes it much easier to enjoy life.. and of course the process of writing and music... I've always been impressed with the amount of yourself you put into your music and lyrics.. I would love to hear music for this, but only if you feel ready to.. I think you may have read that Joe is hoping for a compilation cd from this challenge.. I would be honored if this was one of the songs, but I'll also understand if it's too personal.. I hope your are doing well and thanks again for sharing this lyric with us
Derek

Hi again Joice

As usual I am a hypocrit when it comes to this lyric.. I do find myself laughing at some of the crashes and bangs.. also find myself wondering how I can laugh at it.. it's such a conundrum and it was intended to be a silly song, but it definitly makes me wonder how easily I will be able to laugh at those moments again. At the very least I might say oh dear and turn my head for a minute during those moments.. Thanks for your praise and comments it was certainly an interesting write.
Derek

Joe, Joe, Joe!

All I can say is it's a good thing I'm safely ensconced in my little computer area here, because I think I might've peed in my pants reading this and I would surely have slipped off the chair and broke something else!

As much as I loved it, I did have sort of a sad realization...none of this shocked me! My threshhold for the quirky and bizarre and off-beat and macabre and completely non-PC seems to have reached a new height (or is that a new low, I'm not sure ...? )....

But honest to goodness, I can't even pull out favorite lines, because the whole thing cracked me up (no pun intended!) !!

Thank you sooooo much for this naughty nod!!

Feeling better just by comparison,
The wobbly-but-walking-wounded Beth

Oh, good! I'm glad you liked. I think it's called "lowth," Beth. My usual response to complaints about macabre is "Macabre or yours?" (And there's probably a song in that, too. Got to get some other stuff done first. Like birdsongs.)

Joe

Hey Joe

That was incredible! I must include your vox on the cd as well... because it was perfect!! For those wondering Joe did the music for "I think I broke my funny bone" for me and it turned out awesome! I'm sitting here with my sides splitting..The style was perfect!
Derek

MUSIC NOW..
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

does this count...they're ALMOST broke !

Butt Cheeks
© words and music by C. Stewart ( Aug. 27, 2008 )

I was swinging from a chandelier
Drunker than a monkey
Showing off my kinky hair
Trying to be funky

All at once I lost my grip
Fell down on the floor
Now my rosy cheeks don't look
The way they did before

CHORUS....
My butt cheeks are cracked
They're black and they're blue
A little bit more and they
Would have broke in two

I was climbing up the ladder
But looking the wrong way
Bikini girl's aregone, but
Guess what's here to stay

CHORUS....
My butt cheeks are cracked
They're black and they're blue
A little bit more and they
Would have broke in two

Now I'm paranoid of movement
I can't take any more
It's not a laughing matter
When your back door is sore

CHORUS....
My butt cheeks are cracked
They're black and they're blue
A little bit more and they
Would have broke in two



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hee hee hee, Cal!

This is technically Derek's gig, BUTT, had to chime in. Ho ho ho hee hee hee.

Situations like this must make it difficult to "turn the other cheek"....ha ha ha ho ho ho...

Bubblewrapped Beth

Hi Derek

I hope this doesn't disturb anyone, I got as far as I could, but now I'm angry and can't finish it. So here it is anyway.

You broke my trust!

Verse
The darkness of the bedroom
My clothing on the floor
The colour of your blanket
Smells I still recall
As you pull out your hanker chief
I turn and look at the door
And all that I can see
Is a wardrobe near the door

Chorus
Mummy, Daddy, please
Just some one open the door
I am really frightened
And I don't know what's go'in on
Mummy, Daddy, please
Just some one open the door
I cannot move, I cannot breath
And I don't understand

Verse
My innocents you'd taken
To young to comprehend
I went on through my child hood
Thinking I did something wrong
I watched you get my sister
Shocked, and in disbelief
I locked it away in my memory
Cause it didn't make any sense

Chorus
Mummy, Daddy, please
Just some one open the door
I am really frightened
And I don't know what's go'in on
Mummy, Daddy, please
Just some one open the door
I cannot move, I cannot breath
And I don't understand

Michele

I won't copyright it, cause it's to SAD!

Hi Michele

Big Hugs to you !

jm

Hey Calvin

This one was funny as heck! I sure hope it's not from personal experience... for those of us have fallen on our butt's this is definitly a good example of how it feels...one of my favorite lines was
A little bit more and they
Would have broke in two

I also like the paranoid of movement line.. so true so true.. very well played out and looking forward to adding this one to the cd..
Derek

Hey Michele

That is very very sad.. it's a compelling lyric and it looks like there might be some personal story going on here.. I'm sending big hugs your way... I will totally understand if you don't want this one set to music for our other challenge.. but if you do or are ok with that, let me know... Again this was awesome work.... sorry it's so personal..
((((((((((Michele))))))0
Derek

Hi Derek

This is personal, but it's not going where I want it to go hah, it's to deep, I started writing this song in the hope to help other victims of child abuse, but it's not coming out that way. So maybe I will post it up on the lyric 3 forum, and maybe others can help me out here? I go all over the place mentally.

I wanted the song to make other victims realize, that they can survive child abuse, stop child abuse, and make others aware who haven't been a victim of child abuse, of what it's like to be a survivor of child abuse, and the impact & damage it causes on there victims lives. It Sucks! Oooops, sorry that just slipped out! So what do you think, should I post it?

And I'm Okay, I'm just angry, and that's okay.

Thanks my favorite chum, and thanks also Joice.

Michele
Aussie friend

Derek this is my contribution.

Hearts Been Broken

I could spend forever in you arms
It's the place where I feel safe from harm
Never knew I could ever feel this warm
I could spend forever in your arms

Why is it that it took me so long
To find a woman like you to come along
You're like a melody that completes every song
Why is it that it took me so long

Chorus:How many times have our Hearts been broken
But still we keep searching for the one
But now the search is over and we have won
I feel that our best is yet to come

Someday soon I hope you'll feel the same
You'll know I'm not playing any games
You'll know that there will be no more pain
Someday soon I hope you'll feel the same

The sun is shining on us once again
It's nice to feel its warmth now and then
The love i feel for you will never end
The sun is shining on us once again
Chorus
SOLOmusic
Chorus
END

(C)John Baker 2006

Gosh AJ,

That's as sweet as all get-go. I hope they can include that one on the CD ....

Thanks for playin....
Beth

Yes Beth it will be included

Thanks AJ for the submission and if ya could PM Joe Wrabek about getting us a photo to represent ya.. that'd be excellent.. Thanks again for the contribution it's a really nice lyric.. can't wait to hear the music
Derek

hi jm,I was reading this over and wondered if there was a subplot,a message being sent since dots and dashes are usually associated with morse code.AJ