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#632359 - 07/10/08 08:25 AM
NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Boys and Girls,
I know we just finished up the last one, but I'd like to keep the momentum going and all those creative juices flowing.
SOOOO, here's the deal for this one:
Write a song using the word "WHY" in your title.
While I failed to offer an entry on the last challenge, I'll be sure to dig deep and work on something for this one soon. But right NOW I need to get more coffee...  !!!
So good luck and have fun!!
Beth
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#632394 - 07/10/08 10:10 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Okay, I figure the best way to get this going is to "cheat"  ...and modify the title of an old song of mine from "Some People" to "Why?" and post it as entry #1. It still sorta fits, but hey, I make-a da rules, you like-a da song, capisce?
Regardless, I figure there are a more than a few people who were not around during my original posting, so enjoy! Needless to say, I won't be commenting on this one, but if anyone else would like to, that's groovy.
I look forward to the entries that are sure (  ) to follow!!
Beth
“Why?”
© lyrics 2007 Beth Williams
I hail from a long line of worriers
My furrowed brow gives me away
While some people wake feeling hopeful
Our history says dread every day
Through the ages my family’s been stricken
With bad luck and a series of ills
While some people hail the new medicines
We get side effects and lots of bills
So why is it that…..
Chorus:
I burn with sunscreen….
While some people have it made in the shade?
I get a cold….
While some people only catch a break?
I can’t read music….
While some people always know the score?
Why can’t I be like some people?
They seem to enjoy life a whole lot more!
Still, a crack in the sidewalk, we’re on it
No umbrella, then it’s sure to rain
While some people zoom by the donut shop
We get stopped and just miss our train
Bridge:
Whether nature or nurture made me this way
I want to switch teams and I’m willing to pay
Until then, I’ll still wonder why…
Chorus:
I burn with sunscreen….
While some people have it made in the shade?
I get a cold….
While some people only catch a break?
I can’t read music….
While some people always know the score?
Why can’t I be like some people?
They seem to enjoy life a whole lot more!
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#632408 - 07/10/08 10:36 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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BTW, this is not to say the word WHY is the only word in the title....It just so happens that's all I could squeak out of my song to make it still work!!
A possible example:
"Why Does Johnny Look Like the Mailman"
(I can already think of a few of you who could pen that one in about ten minutes...  )
Cheers,
Beth
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#632420 - 07/10/08 11:13 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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"Tampa Stan" Good
Top 10 Poster
Registered: 07/24/10
Posts: 26754
Loc: Tampa, Florida since 1973
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Wheee...Great Challenge Mz O!
Herewegoo.... "WHY?"
"WHY?" is just One Question
In a Journalistic Sense
"Who, How, What, Why, When & Where?"
Help Each Story Jump-The-Fence
In Answer to Life's Questions
The "Other 5" Run-Shy
& The Most-Interesting of the Bunch
Is..That Question.."WHY?"
"WHY" takes in "Motivation"
What's the REASON for it All?
(WHY Did that Driver HAVE to DRINK
That Lethal Alcohol?)
True, "Who, What, Where, When & How?"
Are Factors You Can't Deny
But the ONE that's KEY to REALITY
Is The ANSWER to That "WHY?"
(BRIDGE)
"WHY?" is What EXPLAINS Life
Give It MEANING, Gives It TRUTH
"WHY?" Has Deeper-Meanings
& The "WHY's?" What Gives Us PROOF...
"WHY?" Isn't Always-Answered
It's Not Easy-to-Explain
Sometimes It's The ONLY Thing-That's-Left
When The Pieces Fit The Game:
Life's a Puzzle We All Play
& as Hard as We All Try
When You're Staring At The Picture
It Stares Back and Asks You "WHY?"
(TAG)
Yeah, No One Sees The Same Reality
Or Knows Every Reason "WHY?"
(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.
_________________________
I try to write For The Ages, yet I'm aware about the only 200-year-old Pop Songs that have survived are Nursery Rhymes....
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#632422 - 07/10/08 11:26 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: ]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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WOW Stan,
On the heels of your love-gone-wrong song, this is quite thought-provoking. I don't know that anyone else will want to play!
At least I can check off my list one of "the few who I know can tackle this in about ten minutes". You're a madman!
One little question...in the line highlighted below, do you think throwing in a "DON'T" would make better sense? Isn't it
when the pieces DON'T fit together, we're left wondering why?
"WHY?" Isn't Always-Answered
It's Not Easy-to-Explain
Sometimes It's The ONLY Thing-That's-Left
When The Pieces Fit The Game:
Life's a Puzzle We All Play
& as Hard as We All Try
When You're Staring At The Picture
It Stares Back and Asks You "WHY?"
Either way, I think this is terrific Stan. You should send it in to Andy Rooney (is he even still alive?)....
Ciao for now, and thanks for playing...
Jackie
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#632437 - 07/10/08 12:17 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Joice Marie
Top 20 Poster
Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 8878
Loc: Cornish Flat, NH, USA
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Lunch time musings..... Thanks Beth
I Don't Ask Why © 2008 joice marie
I'll find the road less taken
Keeping my head out of the sand
Trying to give and take
and deal a winning hand
Then find the silver lining
And the closest to win, win
Better to have loved and lost
Hoping still to keep a friend
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
My motto is try
I've only got one life
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
I'll always take the high road
Leaving petty to the thieves
With one eye holding justice
Staying true to what I believe
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
My motto is try
I've only got one life
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
As I take my last breath
I won't have to guess
'cause I've done my best
to do things right
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
My motto is try
I've only got one life
I don't ask why
I just stay hell bent
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#632441 - 07/10/08 12:35 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joice Marie]
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Steve Altonian
Serious Contributor
Registered: 09/19/07
Posts: 268
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Here's one from me called "Tell Me Why"....
Steve Altonian
Single song link below....
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5772084&q=hi
TELL ME WHY
Never been the kind to say what’s on my mind
What I want to tell you is how I feel
I get so afraid you might be my worst mistake
I toss and turn in bed at night can we get it right
(CHORUS):
TELL ME WHY does it seem
It always has to come down to you and me
I try to sing a different song
But it don’t last too long
TELL ME WHY is it so
I can’t seem to ever let you go
My mind tells me to walk away
But my heart says stay
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
You’re no good for me, I’m no good for you
Still we stay together even though
Sometimes I get confused why we do the things we do
Caught in this web of love that’s all tangled up
(CHORUS):
TELL ME WHY does it seem
It always has to come down to you and me
I try to sing a different song
But it don’t last too long
TELL ME WHY is it so
I can’t seem to ever let you go
My mind tells me to walk away
But my heart says stay
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
Won’t you TELL ME WHY
(c) 2006 Steve Altonian
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#632453 - 07/10/08 01:16 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joice Marie]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey JM,
Another quickly-turned out gem. 
I must say, I was happy to see a "more serious" JM back for a bit (not that I don't enjoy your fun pieces with Cal  !) -- it's just that you do this sooo well.
I especially enjoyed this verse:
I'll always take the high road
Leaving petty to the thieves
With one eye holding justice
Staying true to what I believe
I read thru this a couple of times, and I think you're description of it as "lunch time musings" is an understatement. And the tone is deceiving at first glance. While initially I took it as a Gal-with-Positive-Outlook piece, I also sensed an undercurrent of sadness/resignation:
Better to have loved and lost
Hoping still to keep a friend
I may be way off-base with that interpretation....but either way, I enjoyed it. And of course your ability to crank out quality work so fast is of to be commended!
Thanks for playing!
Beth
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#632456 - 07/10/08 01:20 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Steve Altonian]
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Wyman Lloyd
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/14/01
Posts: 6175
Loc: Missouri
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Why (Do I Talk To Her)
I used to know a girl named Boo
Before I wrote this song
But I've a feeling when she sees it
I won't know her very long
I'll probably be ostracized
From every challenge that she makes
And if I plead I have no songbread
She'll tell me to eat cake
C
Why
Why do I talk to her
She's trouble from the git go
I didn't have an answer
Because I didn't know
Why I asked myself again
Still no answer came
She's ornery through and through
Guess I've got myself to blame
Well, maybe just maybe
She'll be busy breaking stuff
And she won't even see this
And get in a big huff
Why
Why do I talk to her
She's trouble from the git go
I didn't have an answer
Because I didn't know
Why I asked myself again
Still no answer came
She's ornery through and through
Guess I've got myself to blame
me
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#632504 - 07/10/08 03:14 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Steve Altonian]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Well Steve,
How lucky are we, that I should post a song challenge requiring one of the three words in this song's title? 
But more importantly, why is this not playing on the radio? This is fabulous! Romantic! Moving! Engaging! What are you doing after work tonight? (Whoops, did I say that out loud ? )
Seriously Steve, this has HIT written all over it. Lots of great lines, but this one caught my eye:
Caught in this web of love that’s all tangled up
Tugging on those heartstrings big time....
Thanks you so much for sharing!!
Cheers,
Beth Altonian (whoops, did I type that out loud?)
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#632508 - 07/10/08 03:34 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Wyman Lloyd]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Y,Y,Y,
So have you been sweatin' at all?  Wonderin' when I was going to read it? Respond? 
Did you know I was yankin' your chain in that PM? I had already READ IT? (CUE MANIACAL LAUGH!!!)
Well of course you are an integral part of this song challenge, so I secretly HOPED you would honor ME in some way. NOT so sure this is what I had in mind, but since it's all in good fun...in truth...I'm quite flattered and touched. You certainly have information that could have made it a LOT harsher (can't say the same about you though, can I ?), so I guess I should be grateful?
Intentions aside, the "breaking stuff" section is pretty funny....and your chorus is just darn sweet.
I guess it all begins and ends with Y, huh?
Thanks pumpkin!
Boo
P.S. The answer to the valid question you raise is of course "Because"... 
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#632511 - 07/10/08 03:54 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hey Betharoo
Nice challenge and might I say it got my creative juices flowing thanks! Maybe this marks an end to my writers block!
Why would you ask me? Why?
1st Verse
I give, you take, and it makes my poor heart ache
I’m honest, you lie, makes me wonder why I try
Lift
When all your care about is yourself
Think it’s time to put you on the shelf
Chorus
So why would you ask me?
When you know the reason why
I’ve worked so hard to please you
And keep you by my side
Who do you think you’re fooling?
Tellin’ me all these lies
Why would you ask me? Why?
2nd Verse
I’m tender, you’re cruel, I feel like such a fool
I’m loyal, you cheat, wish you were more discreet
Lift
Tired of you rubbin’ it in my face
Think it’s time I put you in your place
Chorus
So why would you ask me?
When you know the reason why
I’ve worked so hard to please you
And keep you by my side
Who do you think you’re fooling?
Tellin’ me all these lies
Why would you ask me? Why?
Bridge
The evidence is clear as you stand accused
This ole broken heart’s tired of takin’ your abuse
Chorus
So why would you ask me?
When you know the reason why
I’ve worked so hard to please you
And keep you by my side
Who do you think you’re fooling?
Tellin’ me all these lies
Why would you ask me? Why?
Copyright July 10, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved
Edited by Derek Hines (07/10/08 03:55 PM)
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#632550 - 07/10/08 05:08 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Derek Hines]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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YAY, T.G.,
Glad you were moved to join the party!!
And I'm SO HAPPY you could crank out something so uplifting -- NOT!
Seriously, though, this is good writing Derek...you really have made a lot of headway since our newbie days (sniffle, sniffle).
First off, great opener....gets us right into the thick of things....
Then the lift...another cool combo...Second line in particular is terrific:
Think it’s time to put you on the shelf
Then, I know this is probably a dumb question (I missed the whole thing on Steve's "Margaret Dances" )....but just what is she asking him to do? Are you being purposely innocuous? AAARGH, right from my fellow-song-challenger....gadzooks!
Well, anyhoo, it sounds like she's an ungrateful Witch, and he should dump her pronto.
BTW, on the bridge...to tighten it up a bit, might you want to say:
Bridge
The evidence is clear as you stand accused
This ole broken heart’s tired of BEING USED
I think that might be a rhyming no-no, since used is part of accused, but all's fair in love and song challenges!!
Thanks so much for playing Derek...and hopefully there'll be plent of songs for you to comment on....
Ciao for now,
Betharoo
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#632663 - 07/10/08 11:51 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Kristi McKeever
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 3187
Loc: USA
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Beth,
These are great so far! ...I'll try to come up with something...why oh why....hmmmmm....
_________________________
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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#632682 - 07/11/08 03:05 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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AJ Baker
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/15/11
Posts: 266
Loc: Dayton,Ohio
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Tell Me Why
So many years ago, when she took you away,
The pain that I felt just wouldn't go away,
Chorus:Tell me why,Tell me why it is that way,
Tell me why,Tell me why you couldn't stay,
As I walked in this life of mine,I often thought of you,
I wondered just how you felt,and what I meant to you,
Chorus
As the years wandered by,I often heard your name,
I wondered what I would say to you,If the time ever came,
Chorus
Today I got a call from you,from out of the blue,
I felt my heart skip a beat,as I talked awhile with you,
Chorus
The time now is coming soon,when I'll see you again,
Now I know what I'll say,When I see you again,
ALT CHORUS:Tell me why, Tell me why it took so long,
Tell me why,Tell me why we're back where we belong ,
Tell me why...,Tell me why....out
(C)John Baker 2/18/2008
I wrote this for my daughter I hadn't seen in 22yrs
Edited by AJ Baker (08/02/08 12:23 AM)
_________________________
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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#632700 - 07/11/08 07:04 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: ]
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Calvin
Top 10 Poster
Registered: 04/30/02
Posts: 13419
Loc: Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
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Why
© words and music by C. Stewart ( July 11, 2008 )
no music yet !
Why don't the flowers grow
No water in the ground
Why don't the music play
Did we turn off the sound
Why don't we ever talk
Nothing left to say
Why did we trade sunshine
For colors that are grey
CHORUS...
Empty smiles
Useless hugs
Spinning gears
In a wasted love
Why, I'll never know why
Why is living so hard
The party fell apart
How long has it been
Since I've been in your heart
CHORUS...
Empty smiles
Useless hugs
Spinning gears
In a wasted love
Why, I'll never know why
INSTRUMENTAL....
CHORUS...
Empty smiles
Useless hugs
Spinning gears
In a wasted love
Why, I'll never know why
http://ww.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
_________________________
Calvin
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#632749 - 07/11/08 09:19 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Kristi McKeever]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Kristi,
Thanks for checking to see how things are going so far...
Have a good time this weekend, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with for this one!
Ciao for now,
Beth
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#632787 - 07/11/08 10:51 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: ]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Well AJ,
Obviously, this is an emotionally-charged piece for you. And though unaware of the circumstances, let me say how happy I am for both of you that you've been reunited with your daughter.
For general listening purposes, though, I think you'd have needed to flush the story out a bit. When you start out by saying...
So many years ago you were taken away
...I made the assumption that she died. So when I get to the part about her calling to you, I was a bit confused. Was she calling you from the beyond? Your heart "skipping a beat" seemed like a strange reaction to impending death. Are you now joined in death?
Perhaps if you were to just to change a word or two it might be clearer:
So long ago when SHE took you away
BUT, given the nature of this song, and for whom it was written, I would not be so presumptuous as to suggest you tamper with it in any way.
Thank you so much for sharing this very personal and special song with us.
Take care,
Beth
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#632795 - 07/11/08 11:21 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Calvin]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Morning Calvin,
My, this is a sad one. Your writing, as always, is very careful, but in this particular case, the starkness underscores the bleakness of the relationship you describe.
And yet, you're able to jam-pack it with image after image after mournful image. Right off the bat, an arrow straight to the heart:
Why don't the flowers grow
No water in the ground
I'm not sure I want to hear the music on this one...
But regardless, thank you for sharing.
Ciao for now,
Beth
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#632920 - 07/11/08 05:16 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Dave Gill
Serious Contributor
Registered: 08/24/06
Posts: 737
Loc: Buffalo, NY
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HELP!! I wrote this down and now I'm STUCK!! LOL!!
"I Already Know Why" (c) 2007 by Dave Gill
I wait to hear you whisper
as I wake up in the morning
wearing nothing but a smile
and search the blankets for your feet.
Was I snoring loud my darling?
If I was then I am sorry.
What a night we had together
Would you like something to eat?
I've never had a night like that before.
I wonder if I ever will again.
If there's a chance that we could have some more
All I need to know is Where and When.
I already know Why
It's right there on your face
like a beacon in the sky
leading to a better place
As I hold you in my arms
I'm so happy I could cry
There's no doubt to what I'm feeling
and I already know Why
_________________________
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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#633007 - 07/11/08 10:36 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Dave Gill]
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Lynn Orloff
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 5161
Loc: PA of the great USA
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Hi Jean,
Another addition to the mix.....
"Why"
(c)2008 Lynn Orloff
We used to have it all,
Or so I thought we did,
Until I heard from someone,
That they caught you in a kiss.
Please tell me why you had to look in her direction,
Then tell me why you had to give her your affection,
Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry,
If you just look into a mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.
You had an indiscretion,
You say you now regret,
You tell me that it’s over,
But I just can’t forget.
Just tell me why you had to look in her direction,
Then tell me why you had to give her your affection,
Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry,
If you just look into the mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.
Bridge:
You tell me that you love me and you never meant to harm,
But when I close my eyes at night, I see you in her arms….
Just tell me why you had to look in her direction,
Then tell me why you had to give her your affection,
Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry,
If you just look into a mirror, I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.
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#633018 - 07/11/08 11:42 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Lynn Orloff]
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hammer
Casual Observer
Registered: 09/23/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Rhode Island
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pathetic
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#633029 - 07/12/08 01:19 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Dave Gill]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Aw Dave,
What a sweet contribution. It's sorta bizarre, we seem to have two ends of the spectrum from the boys on the board these days -- either rascally or romantic!
Personally, I swing both ways, so tend to be satisfied all the time (that didn't come out the way it sounds...  !)
My favorite line is this....
and search the blankets for your feet.
....how true to life is that?!
I also like you how you presented the story via stream of consciousness.
So thanks for playing...And, I hope someone helped you get UNStuck!!
Ciao for now,
Beth
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#633036 - 07/12/08 01:58 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Lynn Orloff]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hi Lynn,
Goodness gracious, do my eyes deceive me? Or is this an original lyric for a song-challenge? You have such a reservoir of songs to draw from, you incredibly seem to find one to fit the bill on every occasion (which I did myself this time -- I'm in no way knocking it!). Either way, I'm happy to have you join the party!
So let me see...ah, deception.  It's interesting how different people have taken the "Why?" to ask a sad question while others have chosen happy ones...
Anyhoo, I like the last couplet of the chorus:
Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry,
If you just look into a mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.
The last line of the first verse is a bit awkward to me, though. I thought the "someone" was kissing your man....and THEY is plural, so doesn't match the singular "someone"....maybe something like this?....
We used to have it all,
Or so I thought we did,
Until I heard some friends
Had seen you steal a kiss
I think you could probably tighten up the chorus a bit too....though the length of the lines does set up a nice contrast to the verses....
So in closing, let me thank you for playing...and please be sure to kick this guy to the curb!
Cheers,
Beth
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#633037 - 07/12/08 02:08 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: hammer]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hammer,
If you'd like to contribute to this particular song challenge, the parameter is to incorporate the word "Why?" in your title.
If you'd like to comment on a given song, you're welcome to do so....but it's much easier to respond to the comments when you cite specifics.
Finally, aside from being rude, a singular negative remark like that isn't remotely helpful.
Beth
Edited by Beth G. Williams (07/12/08 02:16 AM)
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#633068 - 07/12/08 07:25 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Lynn Orloff
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 5161
Loc: PA of the great USA
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Hi Beth,
Thanks once again for your tenacious attention to each line and as usual you are once again correct in your suggestion for the first verse. I admit feeling alittle uncomfortable with that particular line. Yes this was one I worked up last minute to contribute to the cause and also because I do think these challenges are infact good exercise and fun as well. Thanks for keeping things active here Beth!
Best,
Lynn
Have a good day.
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#633162 - 07/13/08 08:52 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hey Betharoo!
Great little song here deary... wow it really is revealing to the private little areas of your life. I must commend you for having such a strong and fiesty spirit considering the crappy hand life has dealt you! Know this that at the end of it all what matters most is those that love you... your family and friends!
((((((((((((BETH)))))))))))) xoxoxoxo great song challenge by the way
Edited by Derek Hines (07/13/08 08:52 AM)
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#633164 - 07/13/08 08:58 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: ]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Wow Stanamigo!
Great approach for this challenge... exploring the mystery of the word why! There are so many whys but one would wonder if the reason is how we know when who did what and where? Although I might be mistaken  . I love your little commenteries on life in regards to why also how and where you use it and when it's necessary. What a great song! Where do you come up with your ideas? Who gives them to you ?
Derek
Edited by Derek Hines (07/13/08 08:59 AM)
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#633165 - 07/13/08 09:02 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Dave Gill]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hey Gill
That's a really cool song you have written! I'm sorry you got stuck, but wow such a story and I love your hook! Also like the searching for feet line and snoring (makes it all the more like reality and less like hollywoods version lol)
Derek
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#633167 - 07/13/08 09:06 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: hammer]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hammer
Beth happens to be the nicer of the two of us and I feel she handled the situation with aplomb; however, I am not Beth  . If you have nothing better to do with your "oh so valuable time" than to run other peoples work into the ground with one single word... then I have some words for you. Actually no just one F- you! the other is just a letter. Please everyone forgive me, but this guy has no class whatsoever.
Derek
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#633169 - 07/13/08 09:08 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Lynn Orloff]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hi Lynn
Very emotional song you've come up with and while your singer does come across a little sad... I've been there and I've felt those same feelings and you did a good job of capturing that emotions here. Thanks you for gracing us with this well written ode to the love lorn!
Derek
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#633220 - 07/13/08 11:53 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Derek Hines]
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Joe Wrabek
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 11/28/03
Posts: 6178
Loc: Garibaldi, OR USA
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Okay. You asked for this, remember.
This is *rap*, of all things--and I don't do rap. This is proably evidence why I *should* not do rap. But as I was thinking about the challenge--Y is a letter of the alphabet, after all--I couldn't help imagining how a rapper would recite the ABC's. And got this.
Joe
ALPHABET WITHOUT U
--By JaY-DuByA da Rappah
INTRO:
Boys and girls, I’m going to sing you a song
And if you listen real close you can all sing along
Some of the lines might even rhyme
Just like rap does some of the time
You learned the alphabet when we were kids
But you prob’ly never heard it sung like this:
CHORUS:
‘Ay!
Be SEEdy!
EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee (tha’s right)
Cue!
AressTEA!
VeedubleyouexwhyZEE!
Where’s U?
U meant a lot to me
And U R gone
No reason Y that I can C
Been missing U
Ever since U left
And without U around
U destroyed my alphabet.
1.
There’s no UPPERS without U
Got no UNDERWEAR without you
Can’t get it UP, or RUN it in, or see it THROUGH
Can’t be TOUGH without U
Can’t have ENOUGH without U
And there isn’t any STUFF that I can do
A HOUSE is just a HOSE without U.
(memorized that alphabet yet? Here it comes…)
CHORUS:
‘Ay!
Be SEEdy!
EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee (tha’s right)
Cue!
AressTEA!
VeedubleyouexwhyZEE!
Where’s U?
Where the **** U go?
I been asking Y, but no reply
And the guys say he don’t know
Sure, I used you—but we had FUN
I can’t say some of the things we done
But without U there’s no SUN
I can’t STUMBLE, I can’t RUN
Lots of things don’t look right without U.
2.
There’s no TUPPERWARE without U (and that’s not a bad thing, y’know)
There ain’t no CHURCHES, too
And life can’t really SUCK without U there
Do I need U? U R just one letter
Can’t count past twenty without my pecker
It might be hell, but oh, well
Who expects a rapper knows how to spell?
Without you, I’ve still got MONEY and I’ve still got AIR
(You ready? You KNOW you can sing along with this…)
CHORUS:
‘Ay! [‘Ay!]
Be SEEdy! [Be SEEdy!]
EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee [WHAT?]
Cue! [TENTATIVELY: Cue?]
AressTEA! [TEA!]
VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! [APPLAUSE]
Where’s U?
I don’t C U…
Y’know, I comes before U in that alphabet
Way before, with a lot of letters in between
So we gotta take care of I first
And by the time we get to U
Might not even notice U ain’t there
Might not even ask Y
He don’t know nothing anyway
3.
Think I’ll swagger down to my favorite joint
And take my pool stick and make some coin
And talk trash to my friends while I’m taking their money
And keep my eyes open for a brand new honey
(And I can do all those things without mentioning U)
Till I’m seeing double—but it won’t be a double U.
(Ready for the alphabet one more time?)
CHORUS:
‘Ay! [‘Ay!]
Be SEEdy! [Be SEEdy!]
EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee [WHAT?]
Cue! [TENTATIVELY: Cue?]
AressTEA! [TEA!]
VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! [APPLAUSE]
Where’s U?
Who cares?
I can get along without U… [FADE]
© 2008 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. You try to rip this rap off and the homies are coming after you. Be cool.
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#633350 - 07/13/08 06:21 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joe Wrabek]
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Derek Hines
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 4809
Loc: United States Oregon
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Hey Joe
Thanks for gracing our little challenge (actually Beth got this one started )with this Gem of a lyric! Very well done on many levels. Especially the whicked satire. Joe you put Cheech and Chong and wierd Al to shame!
Derek
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#633412 - 07/13/08 10:01 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joice Marie]
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AJ Baker
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/15/11
Posts: 266
Loc: Dayton,Ohio
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Hi jm,
I really like the lyrics on this peice.I wish i could hear the music.I am a solo act right now Play in open mics .I'm suppose to do some recording tuesday.Maybe I can hear it on less restrictive computer.
AJ
_________________________
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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#633461 - 07/14/08 12:19 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: ]
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Kristi McKeever
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 3187
Loc: USA
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Alright...just havin' a little fun now... Thanks for keeping us on our toes!
Don’t Ask Me Why
©2008 Kristi McKeever
You wonder why
My eyes are baggy
My face is pale
But I am so happy
You can’t believe
I didn’t cook dinner
I’ve lost my mind
But I feel like a winner
(ch)
Don’t ask me why
See I’m a mom
Lady King Kong
Hear me roar
When I see you score
I meet the teachers
And warm the bleachers
Wash your clothes
And wipe your nose
Why, why, why
Cuz mom’s sacrifice
Don’t ask me why
I’m always running
But you say I’m late
Too much to do
But I think it’s great
The kitchen has ants
There’s mountains of clothes
But I don’t care
For you anything goes
(ch)
Don’t ask me why
See I’m a mom
Lady King Kong
Hear me roar
When I see you score
I meet the teachers
And warm the bleachers
Wash your clothes
And wipe your nose
Why, why, why
Cuz mom’s sacrifice
Don’t ask me why
(br)
I want a first class seat
And an Irish coffee
How about a day of beauty
And a drink that’s fruity
Repeat Chorus
_________________________
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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#633465 - 07/14/08 12:47 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Lynn Orloff]
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AJ Baker
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/15/11
Posts: 266
Loc: Dayton,Ohio
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Hi Lynn,
Nice song if it has music like the lyrics.I wouldn't worry about critics who use one word to critique your work.
AJ
_________________________
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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#633466 - 07/14/08 12:51 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Kristi McKeever]
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AJ Baker
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/15/11
Posts: 266
Loc: Dayton,Ohio
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Hi Kristi,
Interesting work that you have here an ode to the over worked MOM.This is good work though because everyones tale needs to be told and appreciated.
AJ
_________________________
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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#633599 - 07/14/08 10:42 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Derek Hines]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Joe,
Like I said to yo_ in my e-mail, this is f_cking brilliant. Parody is a very delicate and challenging process -- but yo_'ve capt_red the essence of rap perfectly. And to _se the alpabet as yo_r s_bject -- with children (the antithesis of rap) as yo_r intended a_dience -- is sheer geni_s.
I can't start p_lling o_t favorite lines...beca_se I wo_ld basically be c_tting and pasting the whole thing.
_ R de MAN!
Thanks so m_ch for sharing,
Beth
P.S. SOMEBODY HAS GOT TO P_T THIS TO M_SIC!!!
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#633613 - 07/14/08 11:12 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Kristi McKeever]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Brecky!
Yay, you sorta used my idea! You clearly put all of your "leisure" time this weekend to good use -- ha ha.
For everyone reading this, please know that Kristi is the epitome of humbleness. I have heard about some of the mommy hoops she's jumped thru, so personally, I think she needs more than a couple of shots of booze. If it weren't for the current on-going JPF fundraiser, I was going to suggest a bake sale to surprise her with a full body massage !( though perhaps we might get a few members here to offer their services, to help offset some of the cost). HEE HEE HEE
Anyhoo, as to the song, it's great. And like I said, it doesn't begin to tell the story of all you do. But for your purposes here, I think you've balanced the complaining with the worthiness of your plight perfectly. You have taken an unusually Calvinesque approach to your lyrics too, which is fun to see for a change.
STILL, would you mind if I poke around with it a bit (I'm getting much more particular in these challenges...no free rides!! )?
I BET you wonder why
My eyes are baggy
My face is pale clothes don't match
But I'M am so STILL happy
I BET you can’t believe
I didn’t cook forgot to cook dinner
I’ve lost my mindThe dog still needs walking
Yet I feel like a winner
(ch)
Don’t ask me why
'CUZ I DO TRY...
See I’m a mom
Lady King Kong
Hear me roar
When I see you score
I meet the teachers
And warm the bleachers
Wash your clothes
And wipe your nose
Why, why, why
Cuz mom’s sacrifice
Don’t ask me why
I’m always running
But you say AND I'M GENERALLY late
ALWAYS too much to do
But I'M CONTENT WITH MY FATE think it’s great
The kitchen has ants
There’s mountains of clothes
But I don’t care
For you anything THAT'S JUST HOW LIFE goes
(ch)
Don’t ask me why
'CUZ I DO TRY
See I’m a mom
Lady King Kong
Hear me roar
When I see you score
I meet the teachers
And warm the bleachers
Wash your clothes
And wipe your nose
Why, why, why
Cuz mom’s sacrifice
Don’t ask me why
(br)
I want a first class seatSTILL I WOULDN'T MIND A PEDICURE
A SHOPPING SPREE WOULD HELP FOR SURE
A CHEF, A CHAUFFEUR AND A MAID
A TALL SPIKED GLASS OF LEMONADE
How about a day of beauty
And a drink that’s fruity
Repeat Chorus
Natch, cookie, this is all KOS...just felt it needed a little tightening up....not sure if this helps at all...but is just some food for thought.
Most importantly, thank you for your contribution to the challenge!!
Ciao for now,
Beth
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#633762 - 07/14/08 08:12 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Kristi McKeever
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 3187
Loc: USA
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Interesting work that you have here an ode to the over worked MOM.This is good work though because everyones tale needs to be told and appreciated. AJ
AJ,
I want to thank you for your nice words! Your lyric is quite hearfelt...and also couldn't hurt (imo) from adding more to it as Beth mentioned....thanks for sharing that. (btw, nice to meet you! )
Kristi
...I was going to suggest a bake sale to surprise her with a full body massage...
Beth!
Oh my goodness! Just a massage? How about a whole spa treatment!?!
Yes,I used your idea of just letting the mom thing out (glad you noticed)
would you mind if I poke around with it a bit
and YOU being a mom yourself, what better person to add to it! But I'm glad you see that I'm not just complaining...I hope that balance is in there.Your additions are priceless....I like how you did the cross out thingee too...it's helpful to compare...Great stuff Beth! Don't know about the word "bet" because I "know" this information to be true!! LOL (maybe for creative purposes..HA)
How about the dog is whining? I think you need to put your name on here as a cowriter my dear! Seriously. Can you imagine what might come out if we REALLY thought about it? Scary thought actually! HA HA
Thanks for your thoughtful words, though I can say the same for you!
Kristi
Edited by Kristi McKeever (07/14/08 08:19 PM)
_________________________
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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#633822 - 07/14/08 10:51 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Kristi McKeever]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Goodness, isn't this on page two yet?
Maybe someone can write a about the whole JPF Challenge and the problems precipitating it. Like "Why I Burnt My Toast While I Was Trying to Post"....
Okay, scott you silly thing....
Beth
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#633825 - 07/14/08 11:01 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Joe Wrabek
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 11/28/03
Posts: 6178
Loc: Garibaldi, OR USA
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Sounds like a rap to me. However, I think I'm swearing off rap. Once was enough. (Besides, there's too much swearing *in* rap, anyway.)
joe
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#633831 - 07/14/08 11:20 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joe Wrabek]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Perhaps, Joe,
But frankly, I think you outdid yourself with that last one anyway...I wouldn't even TRY to replicate it in any shape or form!
Cheers,
Beth
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#633850 - 07/15/08 01:06 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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anne
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 171
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Hi Beth,
its been a while,i will try to tell you why.hope all is well.
Why does my computer fail
when i need it the most
to log on to my favorite site
the one called just plain folks
I ask a round and someone said a cookie
crawled inside
well i still dont get it
so i ask you
why please tell me why.
chorus
i get on to my myspace
and my email is a breese
i search and go on many sites
they let me in with ease
but every time i come back to say hi and post a song
that liitle cookie i cant eat
logs me out on its own.
Why its letting me stay now
I guess i'll never know
i'll take advantage of this time
to let everybody know
i have a new song up on myspace
"I WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE OF YOU"
ITs not called why, i dont know why
but i hope it sticks inside of you.
http://www.myspace.com/annedeyosingersongwriter
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#633953 - 07/15/08 09:58 AM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: anne]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Anne,
You are a riot. Thank you so much for taking up the second level of Challenge on this Challenge!
I dare say, everyone will be able to relate to this one...(sad but true )...
Personally, I don't understand that whole cookie business either ....like you said, they're for eating!
One little nit....second line chorus, need to correct spelling of breese to breeze .
Finally, kudos to you for cleverly incorporating a bit of self-promotion there at the end. Will definitely go check it out!
Good to "see" you again,
Beth
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#634056 - 07/15/08 04:20 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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anne
Serious Contributor
Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 171
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You are so sweet,and thanks.
All the best Anne.
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#634065 - 07/15/08 04:53 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: anne]
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Joe Wrabek
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 11/28/03
Posts: 6178
Loc: Garibaldi, OR USA
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Beth, I think I know what I can do with the rap. (No, *before* the trash can.) A friend of mine in southern Oregon hosts a Poetry Slam (an opportunity for a bunch of poets (what would you call that? a "chorus"?) to get together, drink too much, and listen to each other's verses. I could go, tell 'em to just imagine the bump-bumps and scritch-scritches, and do my JaY-DuByA routine. I think I'd have it down (heck, I had it down as I was *writing* it).
Joe
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#634069 - 07/15/08 05:21 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joe Wrabek]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
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Hey Anne,
My pleasure...don't be such a stranger!!
Cheers,
Beth
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#634070 - 07/15/08 05:27 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Joe Wrabek]
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Beth G. Williams
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 6894
Loc: Massachusetts
|
My goodness Joe,
First of all--SLAMMIN' idea! Second, if you don't have someone videotape it or at least record it, that would be a darn darn shame. The song has already taken on a life of it's own...wouldn't it be a fun one to perform at Piney fest next year (hear that, Bobbelina...we already have your opening act! )?
Honestly, it would great to let us to hear you "perform" this one. Do you have a special outfit you could wear? Any big gold chains that say JPF or something?
Regardless, GOOD LUCK! I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to hear this live.
Cheers in advance!
Beth
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#634092 - 07/15/08 06:44 PM
Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE!!!! JULY 10TH
[Re: Beth G. Williams]
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Joe Wrabek
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 11/28/03
Posts: 6178
Loc: Garibaldi, OR USA
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Beth, I'll ask the fellow who hosts these things, but I doubt anybody videotapes them. I expect the response I'll get is "Hey, man, we're poets!" That's usually a good explanation for not being willing (or able) to do anything.
No, I wouldn't do any costume, or anything. All I need is attitude. I'd just hike my pants further down toward my knees, slick back my bald spot like it had hair on it, and rap at 'em. It'll either work or not.
Joe
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Moderator: Brian Austin Whitney
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We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
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19784 Members
120 Forums
101402 Topics
942715 Posts
Max Online: 1456 @ 04/10/08 05:00 PM
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