Here's one I wrote back in Nov and did my own music and vocals to it, but wanted Heather to do it too,but she was away, so now I have with Heather doing the demo on it..tks glyn



The Angels Will Rock You Tonight

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10925766

Each month we waited, so excited
Felt you moving, as you grew inside
Couldn't wait to meet you
Only to have to say Goodbye

We were so happy having you
counted all your fingers and toes
You were so perfect
This is not how it's suppose to go

Chorus
Well I want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' man (girl)
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

We held you watching you breathe
So tiny and innocent
I prayed to God, how can this be
Trying to cherish every moment

We put our wedding rings
Around both OF your feet
So you'll know we'll remember
You with each of our heartbeats


Chorus
Well I want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' man (girl)
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

Chorus
Well I want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' man (girl)
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

Doesn't get much sadder than this

Well written song

Heather does a nice emotional job with this--I felt that even more emotion in her vocal could have come through to really sell it as a vocal/lyrical tune.

Tough song--no parent wants to go there but sad that many have had to. I like the hook but the song needs some tweaking to really sell it. You're getting better with your lyrics for sure! A few comments....

Zeek



The Angels Will Rock You Tonight

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10925766

Each month we waited, so excited
Felt you moving, as you grew inside
Could'nt wait to meet you
Only to have to say Goodbye
nice 1st verse...sets up the song and what's coming. No sugarcoating--I like that!

We were so happy having you
not fond of the first line...maybe another thing you did like counting fingers and toes here. It's almost redundant saying you're happy having you--it's implied.
counted all your fingers and toes
You were so perfect
This is not how it's suppose to go

Chorus
Well I why the change from we to I here? want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' girl
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite
I like the hook but immediately thought of "rock" as anthem like, as in a rock song. Could you tag it like this:
The Angels Will Rock You to sleep Tonite

We held you watching you breathing
So tiny and innocent
I prayed to God, how can this be
Trying to cherish every moment
this verse really says the same things as 1/2. We already got that connection of the baby dying. There needs to be another type of tug on the heart here.

We put our wedding rings
Around both OF your feet
'round your tiny feet (although you would put it on her toes, not her feet but I think it'll still work)
So you'll know we'll remember
Baby know we'll remember you
You with our every heartbeat
I like this verse but don't like the way the vocal is phrased.


Chorus
Well I want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' girl
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

Chorus
Well I want you to know you'll always be
Mom and Daddy's lil' girl
We'll see you dancing in the starlight
Now you must go to Heaven
The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

The Angels Will Rock You Tonite

[/quote]

Zeek, thanks so much, I appreciate you very much and yes, I see the changes DO make this a better song...I'll work on it..glyn

bump please

Hey Glyn. A real tear jerker of a song that a lot of folks will be able to relate to from experience and others from pure empathy. I notice you change from we to I in the chorus I think. Keep it we.

Thanks Stevie, happy you like it, and it was hard to even write, and I also have a couple of tracks I did myself on my soundclick with my music and my vocals...just testing the water...one has a nursery rhyme at the beginning but those do need alot of work on them, this is when I got sick again and didn't feel like doing anything...but i'm back now..

glyn

I have known that pain that never seems to fade, no matter how old we or they get...so heres a bump that doesn't hurt...MFBIII

Thanks Matt and I know what you mean

I'm all sad now =( It's a beautiful song, and a wonderful collab!

I remember this one Glyn and that I posted my song about the couple who had the child in heaven with the angels.

Heather sang it well. Something that could sweeten it up would be a high vocal harmony - especially with the "angels will rock you tonight". I can hear it in my head. A lady who calls herself Cassandra Cloverleaf, sang some songs like this with just beautiful harmonies. Possibly it would be a source to check out. If I can find a post of that one I will send it to you.

Also, some strings here and there would augment the depth of the song, if you wanna do those.

Doug

Oh, it is sad, without a doubt! But it is also so full of love! Nice work!

--Jen

Neil, thanks for listening to this one for me..glyn

Thanks Stevie, once Heather gets settled at school I'll get her to change that..thanks glyn

Andrew, yes it is a sad one and I see this alot at work, and never know what to say, just try and scrap my heart up off the floor and leave the room as soon as I can..or i'll be in the floor with the family...glyn

Hi Doug, yeah couldn't wait to get Heather to sing it and give it some justice..and she did great...glyn

Thanks Jen, I tried to make it what it is but to also put my heart into it and I feel I did the best I could..and thanks to checkig it out for me..

glyn

I have two daughters and four grand daughters so what can I say? Very sad. Lovely vocal.

Hi Glynda,
Heather does a wonderful job on your song. I remember it from before...a very sad and touching song.

Very sad song. I had goosebumps while listening to it.

Thanks Duncan for taking your time to listening..glyn

Jen, yeah, I had my music and my vocals on it before, but thought it deserved Heathers touch to it...and It did..thanks


glyn

Hey popsplanet...
yes this song can do that to you...but it's so real...just had to write one in honor of these babies, gone to soon, but never forgotten...


thanks glyn