https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13841300

Thanks to Ed, steady-eddie for the push

That’s Why My Lady Is The Best (Neil Cotton)

We’ve been together many happy years
Hardly slept apart to some that may seem weird
If she’s travels she’ll phone when she arrives
That started when we only had land lines

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

It’s not all about me oh heaven no
She volunteers with her get up and go
Helping our police with victims of abuse
And our seniors who feel they have no use.

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

I can’t believe just how lucky I’ve been
To have her here next to me lovingly

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

Nice traditional country tune. And a nice tribute to your lady.

Best, John

Thanks John...you see right through me...Valentines day eh!
A couple lines could be improved on but the point is made

I started with the old idea and flipped it
That's why my lady is a tramp.

Damned soundclick just will not play, click on it.....and crickets.

sorry

Hi Neil,

Killer chorus, beautiful melody on that chorus. One of my favs of yours. One sug (you know I always have at least one), your PC, not sure it's needed to connect or launch your chorus. I also thought "maybe," you might experiment and combine the two PC and utilize them as a bridge? Not sure, but food for thought.

Pretty song Neil, and "appropriate" ehh?

steady-eddie

Thanks I was thinking there needed to be more evidence to support the chorus, hence the anecdote....maybe not.
Thanks for the props on the chorus...I'll look at the combination as you have suggested
Thanks for your time!

yes , good timing

Hello Neil,


Yes, a traditional sound & a nice tribute.
Have a good evening.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thanks Calvin...I guess I hit the target

Thanks to Ed, steady-eddie for the push

That’s Why My Lady Is The Best (Neil Cotton)

We’ve been together many happy years
Hardly slept apart to some that seems weird
If she’s travels she’ll phone when she arrives
That started when we only had land lines

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

It’s not all about me oh heaven no
She volunteers with all get up and go
Helping our police with victims of abuse
And our seniors who feel they have no use.

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

I don’t pace here worried will she get home safe
She’s here most evenings when we end our day.
I can’t believe just how lucky I’ve been
To have her here lovingly next to me

That’s why my lady is the best
Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

Caring about fam’ly and friends
That’s why my lady is the best

Hi Neil,

No question IMO, the song flows much smoother now--

steady-eddie

I agree....still not a hit...damn LOL

Neil,

The only way to get a hit is to have already been invited to the party, have an "honest" performing artist just happen upon your song, or get invited to the "party." They stopped sending out invitations long ago, and 90% of performing artists are recording their own songs. (Kind of like winning the Power Ball Lotto). If we were young, good looking, preferably both, there is a chance on Youtube as if you get a few million hits and have the right image, a label will then contact you. Unless you're already lucky enough to have been invited to the party, your best bet is to publish yourself--not easy when you're over 30 yrs...........but we are sure hav'n some fun here in our own little music world!

steady-eddie

yes you are right ...note the LOL above.
I write because I like to...just putting music to sorry.

Kind of an Eaglesjoined by George Strait rip off LOL

A good lyric and tribute to your lady. Nothing wrong with a nice traditional country song.
I particularly liked the hook

Thanks Travis...heartfelt

Neil,

I really like the chorus and the melody the goes with—it’s a nice hook. The second verse works well for me, as does the bridge. I think the first verse may be a wasted opportunity, because to me it doesn’t really set up the chorus (she’s the best because she cares about family and friends, but there’s nothing in the first verse that supports that). I also think the second line of the first verse feels a bit forced (i.e., why would it be weird for some to think they hardly slept apart; I would think the opposite more weird).

So, maybe revisit that first verse: show me, as the listener, right off HOW she cares for family and friends—just like you do in the second verse.

Just some friendly feedback that may be of no use or merit—but offering up for what it is, good or bad.

Hope all is well in your world, Neil.

As always, my kind regards,

Deej

Thanks...your comments reflect what I thought..I wasn't happy with the first verse...the weird idea was weird LOL
I will rewrite it to have a better ramp to the chorus
Thanks

so..... Neil......... long time no see! (smile)

Ok............you know I can brutal right?

This song says to me.. "I have a nice wife".............. great.

Everything is so general...... I want to know why she is the best thing for YOU..<<<<<<
What does she do for YOU.... personally............ that noone else would know about?
There has to be at least a few lines of romance somewhere dude.......... (smile).

Does she reach over in the morning and run her fingers through you hair....

Does she laugh while she throws your dirty underwear in the air?

Does she cry so hard at silly things, but smiles when everything goes wrong?

Just thought I would ask you to be more descriptive about why she is perfect for you..and you alone.

I'm sure she'd like to know those things more than that she volunteers her time and is a nice lady.

Love ya !!

Kay-lynn

No argument here..it needs work...points well taken thanks

Everything is so general...... I want to know why she is the best thing for YOU..<<<<<<
What does she do for YOU.... personally............ that noone else would know about?
There has to be at least a few lines of romance somewhere dude.......... (smile).

Does she reach over in the morning and run her fingers through you hair....

Does she laugh while she throws your dirty underwear in the air?

Does she cry so hard at silly things, but smiles when everything goes wrong?

Just thought I would ask you to be more descriptive about why she is perfect for you..and you alone.

I'm sure she'd like to know those things more than that she volunteers her time and is a nice lady.

Love ya !!

Kay-lynn


Hi Neil

I read through the other critiques and thought this one by Kay Lee stood out, so much more

than the rest , Its called pointing at your HOOK , and thats what great songs do

How could your lyric be improved , ??? work on your CHORUS, ??? Try several lines more

and start and finish with your title as you have done already Give that Melody more Dynamics

than it already has , Get the listener singing that Chorus , when they walk down the street


whistling ------ Best Wishes Neil

PS

Those Three lyric lines suggested by Kay Lee are the sort of thing Pro writers

Are looking for , they are original and they would enthuse a top melody writer to

come up with a memorable melody that gives them TRUE PROSODY ,

Okay they are suggesting ways to improve your song , But as they stand , they could also

be used in a new song Titled ------ How Much Does She Love You

She’s the rock & glue has been many years
Our kids know for us she’ll always be here
If she travels she’ll phone home ev'ry night
That started when we only had land lines

Thanks Cheyenne for the feedback on my feedback.......... (smile).. I actually really appreciate it because I don't wanna be too harsh, but I also don't wanna be less than honest. (p.s. my name is Kay-lynn)... wink

Neil, I saw your revision.

"our kids know for us...???" Does anyone actually say that outloud.? Seems like you were trying to force a rhyme.
Anyway........... it seems her calling home on a land line is something that seems very important to you.
Tell the listener why that is so important<<<< it's not so much that it was a land line, then it is that you knew she was thinking of you while she was way right?

she'd be away doing important things
but every night that phone would ring
like a clock that never loses time
just so I could say we're all fine

Paint me a picture of you and kids running to the phone, knowing it would be her
She wasn't worried she just wanted you and them to know that you were more important than anything else.

That's a good verse...
You are guiding and mentoring well.


The second line is conversational where I'm from LOL
The land line was used to show the importance of the daily ritual,even if inconvenient......there was a time she didn't have a cell phone in her pocket or purse....I'm surprised this needs explaining

Thanks Cheyenne
I know all this, really. Excellent reminders however.
If you were to scan through my 460 + songs you'd see this. Recently I have become lazy as my expectations of writing the great song have dropped. My bad. I'm writing because I enjoy it. My thinking is a great one will eventually arrive. LOL
I had better get in the fast lane. It's obvious that you and Kay-lynn are in that lane now.

Thanks.

I understand why you put "land line" in there, but not sure that really paints a picture for most people. Heck even I don't have a land line but I always called from the airport or hotel room, it wasn't that hard.

I get the paint the picture thing . Don't tell me show me..
Especially in love songs, I might be wrong, but that doesn't seem to be as important as it used to be. Maybe artist are writing for themselves,

Kay-lynn & Cheyenne...imagery

His Golden Years
Heartfelt reality

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/songInfoV4.cfm?bandID=73561&songID=13847191