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Tumbling and Turning

Posted By: RainyDayMan

Tumbling and Turning - 09/26/18 03:24 AM

Haven't been been writing much lately, but I like how this one is developing.

Tumbling and Turning
©2018 Owen Hovenden

Link to music

It's hard
Living in the dark
You said to me

Hold tight
I can be the light
that you need

And I drank of your passion
The taste so bittersweet
You clung to my promise
Of strength and loyalty

Tumbling and turning like a wave upon the sea
Drifting and swirling as you breathe
Tumbling and turning, yearning for relief
Drowning in the ocean of your need

Your eyes
Begging for the fire
Inside of me

I'm dry
Nothing left inside
For me to give

I sacrificed my passion
The joy and the agony
To a hunger as endless
As the sea

Tumbling and turning like a wave upon the sea
Drifting and swirling as you breathe
Tumbling and turning yearning for release
Drowning in the ocean of your needs

Tumbling and turning
Tumbling and tumbling and turning
Tumbling and tumbling and turning
Posted By: Deej56

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/09/18 04:09 AM

Owen,

I like the mood of this tuneókinda R.E.M. like to me. The balance between the vocals and the music seem a bit off; the former just a tad too much versus the instrumentation. Lyrically, I like the verses, particularly the first two, but their connectedness to the pre-chorus; and then chorus fades a bit for me. So, my two cents would be to focus a bit more on the lyrics, making it a bit more relatable to the listener--gotta make me feel what you're feeling. Not sure that will make sense to you, but offering it up for what itís worth. Itís got a lot going for it, so well worth keeping at it.

Best regards,

Deej
Posted By: Vicarn

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/09/18 09:08 AM

The brooding sound of this drew me in from the start, Owen.
I felt that you should have stuck with that dark minor chord play until you get to the "tumbling and turning..."
part though, as it loses its dark drama too soon in the "drank to your passion..." bit.

Reminded me of Roxy Music.

For a song like this try some delay on the vocals.

Vic
Posted By: Calvin

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/09/18 09:24 AM

Hello Owen,


This has a really nice feel to it, good job.



Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
Posted By: RainyDayMan

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/09/18 10:07 PM

Thanks for the feedback guys!

@Deej, I'll go back and review the balance with your comments in mind. That should be an easy fix.
The lyric is deliberately ambiguous and open to interpretation. For example it is not even certain which party is speaking at times. I can see that isn't going to appeal to everyone.

@Vic Interesting call on keeping it darker. I'll give that some thought. Thanks!

@Calvin Thanks for the listen. Always nice to hear someone has enjoyed it smile
Posted By: Vicarn

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/09/18 10:33 PM

Hi again, Owen.
Yes, I felt it was too even on the light and dark so is letting it's character slip away.

Vic
Posted By: Ricki E. Bellos

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/10/18 12:53 AM

I liked how it started out too, Owen. It felt more in keeping with the dispair? wistfulness? whatever darkness the lyrics spoke to but something in the pre-chorus watered down that mood. Definitely worth pursuing though. Well done overall.

Ricki
Posted By: RainyDayMan

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/11/18 01:46 AM

Thanks for your input Ricki! It's interesting in that I started out with the chorus and worked backwards to the verse, so for me if the verse doesn't fit the chorus then the verse is out of whack. Which doesn't invalidate anyone's comments. It's that change of perspective you get from a listener's point of view rather than the creator's. Which is one of the great benefits of posting here! smile
Posted By: Travis david

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/12/18 06:05 AM

Loved the hook Owen Tumbling and Turnig.
All in all an enjoyable listen
Cheers
Travis6
Posted By: RainyDayMan

Re: Tumbling and Turning - 10/12/18 06:36 AM

Thanks for the listen and the comment Travis!
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