Just an ordinary day when
I went up to change his diaper,
in the middle of his cleaning
using my third baby wiper
when suddenly in horror
I found something quite profound
all crusty, kind of molding
perched up there just like a crown,
a monstrous growth unfolding
..........that was grainy and quite swollen
some strange protrusion that just sprang
up on the tip of his wing-wang.

Perhaps some kind of wicked spore
I'm sure it wasn't there before,
I know I almost wet "my" pants
then nearly collapsed on the floor,
might it be a Siamese penis?
needing treatment by hygienists?
perhaps his gene pools
latest bloomer?
...a rare diseases, or fleshy tumor?
then I was rushing like
a mad man for the door.


I grabbed my phone to
tell his doctor
my babies schlong
came with a proctor,
but I didn't want him
thinking I was....
totally off my rocker,
so I took a second glance...
at what was in
those plastic pants.

Chorus-

Being a parent
takes some gumption
just stay calm,
make no assumption,
count to ten,
over obstructions
you think predict your
child's destruction.


Because my boy he
seemed so happy
he just giggled
and he wiggled,
and it didn't
make much sense,
that what was stuck
with quite a splatter
on his one inch
long flesh squiggle,
was not causing any pain
or even making my boy cry,
at what was blocking
his third eye.

Since I'm
always such
a curious soul,
I used a Q-tip
as a probe
on this massive
new intrusion
that had caused
me great confusion
glued upon his
miniature pole,
then suddenly
I gained control.

It popped right off
into a soggy heap,
next to a dry one
lying deep
but now exposed
within the folds
of his pamper
that each day
helps keeps,
my boy from
springing leaks.

Chorus-


Being a parent
takes some gumption
just stay calm,
make no assumptions,
count to ten,
over obstructions
you think might
bring your
child's destruction.



Laughing
hysterically,
I realized,
I had been fussing
about nothing
that should ever
keep me paralyzed,
it was no demon from below,
it was just a Cheerio.


That had accidently
tumbled from his
chubby little fingers,
down his pampers
where for hours
it had settled in
and lingered,
till it soaked
into a clinger
A monster doughnut,
simply bloated
from a ring of
oats once toasted.


Quite chagrined
by my prognosis
and now relieved
by my diagnosis
that I'd been stricken
with stupidity,
and had at long last
gained lucidity.



So I re-pampered
him up snugly
and for many
weeks to come,
I fell to laughing
ch, so hard
at how I could
have been that dumb,
because the only
cure he needed
was just a quick
flick of my thumb,
and of course you know
I never, ever dared
to tell his MUM!

And I'll probably
be chuckling
many months
more I suppose,
whenever it comes time
again for me
to change his clothes,
or in the
supermarket down
amidst those cereal rows
each time I see
all of those boxes
full of Cheerios.


©-MFB III Productions
Artwhimsically Yours Studio.

Hi MFB III

Where do you get these ideas. lol

The whole thing held together so well and again had me at the end. I was feeling sympathy

Well done a real good write

God Bless Roy and Helen

Thanks Roy, actually...believe it or not it is a true story, as a new dad I panicked over a tiny doughnut of oat that had swollen to a size and girth that caused me serious concern, But common sense prevailed in this cereal thriller. Now I need to write some music that is a lot like Jim Staffords work. It will be a challenge I will enjoy. LOL~~~Thanks for your comments~~~MFB III