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My Water-Coloured View

Posted By: Neil Cotton

My Water-Coloured View - 11/08/17 03:28 PM

My Water-Coloured View (Neil Cotton)

I look at the photos in our famíly album
Some make me smile like my Spaniel Chum
Some make me cry thinkiní how mom died
Through laughter and tears I see a full life

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view

Two colours remind me of my cute sister Sue
In her cheering days wearing yellow and blue
Red fills up my eyes when I see uncle Gil
He stole dadís cash to pay a gambling bill

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view

My famílyís a spectrum
Raw & real emotions
We sob when weíre grieving
We weep celebratin'

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view
Lifeís memories through
My water coloured view
_________________________________

I look at the photos in our famíly album
Some make me smile like my ol' Spaniel Chum
Some make me cry thinkiní how mom died
Through laughter and tears I see a full life

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
I see great years through
My water coloured view
I love all of these through
My water coloured view

Two colours remind me of my cute sister Sue
In her cheering days wearing yellow and blue
Red stands for anger when I see my only uncle
He stole dadís cash lost it all when he gambled

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
I see great years through
My water coloured view
I love all of these through
My water coloured view

Life is a spectrum of
Uncontrolled emotions
We sob when weíre grieving
Weep at celebrations

Light through the tears
Makes a rainbow of hues
I see great years through
My water coloured view
I love all of these through
My water coloured view
Posted By: Barry David Butler

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/08/17 04:51 PM

LOVE IT NEIL !!
Posted By: Neil Cotton

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/08/17 06:05 PM

Thanks Barry, you're too easy LOL
Posted By: Travis david

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/08/17 07:47 PM

Makings of a good sentimental tear jerker
Posted By: Neil Cotton

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/08/17 07:47 PM

Bwhahaha tear jerker , get it.
Posted By: Deej56

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/09/17 06:46 AM

Neil,

I really like the chorus on this song, and the "my watered colour view" refrain. Just two small suggestions for you to consider for whatever they may be worth.

First, I'm wondering if you can be more specific in the penultimate line of the chorus ("I love all these through"); maybe sub the "these" for something that more particularly ties that line to the subject of the preceding verse. It's just a thought, and not sure it makes sense.

Second, I'm not sure the last two lines of the second verse fit the mood of the song (which is always tough to judge just reading it). It overall appears to be a sentimental and affectionate tune; but the dishonest uncle seems a contrary image--i.e., how would that be part of the "great years" or something the singer would "love". I'd suggest staying with positive memories in the verses. Again, just my thoughts . . . hope they are helpful, and if not, please humbly disregard.

All the best,

Deej
Posted By: Neil Cotton

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/09/17 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by Deej56
Neil,

I really like the chorus on this song, and the "my watered colour view" refrain. Just two small suggestions for you to consider for whatever they may be worth.

First, I'm wondering if you can be more specific in the penultimate line of the chorus ("I love all these through"); maybe sub the "these" for something that more particularly ties that line to the subject of the preceding verse. It's just a thought, and not sure it makes sense.

Second, I'm not sure the last two lines of the second verse fit the mood of the song (which is always tough to judge just reading it). It overall appears to be a sentimental and affectionate tune; but the dishonest uncle seems a contrary image--i.e., how would that be part of the "great years" or something the singer would "love". I'd suggest staying with positive memories in the verses. Again, just my thoughts . . . hope they are helpful, and if not, please humbly disregard.

All the best,

Deej


Your comments are helpful...
"these" was used as a general reference to the photos and memories...maybe memories would be better...will look at this again.
The Uncle is another tearful moment...maybe a tears of joy moment would be better...thanks again
Posted By: Neil Cotton

Re: My Water-Coloured View - 11/10/17 05:03 PM

bump with revisions
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