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RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE)

Posted By: Travis david

RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE) - 07/04/17 05:18 PM

Raise a glass
V
Don't leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll fade
say those things to me when i'm still aulive
we've shared so many things-hey don't be shy
C
Lets raise a glass to us today
two old friends who often strayed
But a bond sealed with memories
Old friend you mean a lot to me.
If i should go and you should stay
raise a glass to us that day
V
Last went to church years ago
preachers eulogise on someone they dont know
Rather friends call on me shows they care
wish i could spread this notion everywhere

Chorus

B
Don't leave it, don't you wait
cause one day it could be too late
Take the time tell those special ones
how you feel about them
Cause one day, sadly they'll be gone
Chorus
------------------
RAISE A GlASS
V
Don't  leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll  fade
Just say those things when i'm still alive
how much you care, go on make me cry
C
  Lets raise a glass to us today
   two old friends who often strayed
    But a bond sealed with memories
     Old friend you mean a lot to me.
     If i should go and you should stay
    raise a glass to us that day
V
     Last went to church years ago
      preachers eulogise on someone they dont know
       Rather  friends call on me  shows they  care
     wish i could spread this notion everywhere

      Chorus
 
     B
          Don't leave it, don't you wait
           cause one day it could be too late
           Take the time tell those special ones
            how you feel about them
             Cause one day, they could be gone
Chorus
Posted By: Ray E. Strode

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/05/17 05:12 PM

Humm Travis,
You need to Google THE WHIFFENPOOF SONG by Rudy Vallee, Bing Crosby and other's.
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/13/17 09:04 AM

The fact that you 're aware of it Ray is good enough for me
Travis
Posted By: Barry David Butler

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/13/17 12:35 PM

Love it Travis.
I'm going to post in on my Facebook Page...Barry...
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/13/17 04:24 PM

Thanks Barry thats great
Travis
Posted By: Deej56

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/15/17 05:15 AM

Travis,

I really like the first verse and chorus of this song. Actually I like what follows as well. But as I read the first verse and chorus, I anticipated this would be a tune about two longtime friends, sometimes at odds. The last two verses aren't as specific to that story and therefore seem disconnected to the chorus. I say this only because this song has tremendous potential, and perhaps reshape the second and third verse to be more specific on the two friends. One suggestion on the chorus lyrics: perhaps "sometimes" rather than "often" in the second line (but depends on your story). Keep working this--it will be a fine tune.

Hope the feedback helps!

Best regards,

Deej
Posted By: Wesley Ryan

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/16/17 04:33 AM

Hey Travis,

It has been awhile. I hope you are well. Glad to see you are still writing. Best wishes!

Wes
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/21/17 08:32 AM

Hi Wesley
Good to see you back again
Thanks for stopping by
Travis
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 07/21/17 08:34 AM

Hi Deej
Thanks for your help and comments which are always appreciated.
Yes it needs a rewrite or two and your points are valid
Cheers
Travis
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 10/06/17 04:53 PM

This is a rewrite
Posted By: David Gill

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 10/06/17 05:34 PM

Hey Travis,

I really like where this goes. Well written and straight to the point. Good on ya, sir!

Peace,

Dave
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS - 10/08/17 06:16 PM

Cheers Dave.
Travis
Posted By: 9ne

Re: RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE) - 10/11/17 01:45 PM

Nice sentiment!
Suggestion?

Don't leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll fade
Just say those things while i'm still alive
how much you care, the reason why

Best of luck!
-Mike
Posted By: Travis david

Re: RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE) - 10/12/17 09:48 AM

Yes I like that Mike and will change it later.
Meanwhile I've a new one
Thanks
Travis
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