GOD MAKES 'EM, THE DEVIL PAIRS 'EM.

v
Met in a diner off the interstate
nobody cared they were kids and the hour was late
Sat at near tables,she admired his tattoos
gave her a cigarette,bought her a coffee or two
V
Both spent time in house's of correction
low on friends and without parental affection
Broke away from the restraints of custody
for the first time in their lives, they were free

PRE CHORUS.
THEY WERE FREE, FREE FREE
c
God Made 'em the devil paired 'em
Pity the mothers who had to bare them
Put together, they were mean real mean
Like matching fire with gasoline
God Made 'em the devil praised 'em
Pity the mothers who had to raise them
v
left the diner in the owners car
she clutched her wound crying you wont get far
The cash they stole lasted 'bout a week,then
when it ran out they needed to steal again
b
They crossed four state lines stole cars-robbed small town stores.
Hooked on it like a drug, kept needing to score

PRE CHORUS.
NEEDING TO SCORE, SCORE SCORE

c
God Made 'em the devil paired 'em
Pity the mothers who had to bare them
Put together, they were mean real mean
Like matching fire with gasoline
God Made 'em the devil praised 'em
Pity the mothers who had to raise them

v
Parked up for the night down a dirt road
both tired falling sleep, a cop on patrol
spotted the vehicle saw it on his hot list
kid spooked,he went for his gun, but the cop didn't miss

PRE CHORUS
COP DIDN'T MISS,GOOD COPS DON'T MISS
c
God Made 'em the devil paired 'em
Pity the mothers who had to bare them
Put together, they were mean real mean
Like matching fire with gasoline
God Made 'em the devil praised 'em
Pity the mothers who had to raise them

Outro
God makes them now the devil wont spare them

Nice write Travis. Title drew me in. Like the story and progression. I notice you have "graves"...I was thinking "grave" might sound better, but that's just my take.

"Crossed four state lines stealing cars and robbing small town stores
both had the same anger, and notions they needed to explore"

The "notions" part didn't seem to have a natural feel like the rest of the song (imo)

You are such a good writer that to suggest something else almost seems sacrileges, but I thought the line:

"both had the same anger, that they couldn't suppress anymore"

might be another alternative. Just a suggestion, to use or throw out. But over all I like this very much and as always enjoy reading your stuff.

I like the idea but would hate to meet up with this pair. They must be a modern day Bonnie & Clyde.

Thanks James
I've used your suggestion
Travis

Hello Jim
Thanks for your visit,a little less successful but the same ending lol
Travis

I would structure it differently

Verse One
Both spent time in house's of correction
then add in verse two
Met in a diner off the interstate
then pre-chorus
Crossed four state lines stealing cars and robbing small town stores
both had the same anger, they couldn't suppress it anymore
then go into the cool chorus then add in verse 3
Parked up for the night down a dirt road
then back to pre-chorus and finish up with chorus....
You have a really cool hook here...I added suggestions and so many because it drew me in enough to care about wanting to give a through critique..I think with a few small changes this could be a really good one...nice for a movie
Kimberly

Hello Travis,

I like your story here. Made me think of those characters from Natural Born Killers.

I know Kimber mentioned in your chorus not to give away the ending, but whether you had one or both killed off, or not even - IMHO, I think the chorus for me just sets up, the kind of lifestyle they are leading, tells one that they could possibly not grow old.

I do like Kimber's suggestion of a pre-chorus

Verse, Verse, Pre-Chorus, Chorus, Verse, Pre-Chorus, chorus, etc.

Perhaps take out the word "and" in the first line; if you used this as your pre-chorus;
Crossed four state lines stealing cars robbing small town stores
both had the same anger, they couldn't suppress it anymore

A good story lyric.

Thanks for your help Kimberly , I used a couple of your suggestions and changed the structure somewhat thanks for your help.
I think I've spent enough time on this one though and time to move on
Travis

Hi Marilyn
Thanks for your suggestions, I've not gone for a pre chorus.There's a bridge there though.Time to move onto the next one!
Travis

Hey Travis
You've packed a lot of action into such a small space, but it works very nicely. Good write.

Cheers
Joe

Hi Travis,

It's hard to create these characters and then leave them! That would be like leaving Sadie -- LOL!

You got a lot of great suggestions so I just stopped by to say that I got a kick out of your story!

Lisa

Thanks for your visit and comments Joe
Travis

Hello Lisa
Pleased you like it, thanks for leaving a comment
Travis

Travis, You've got an interesting outlaw story with overtures of Bonnie & Clyde. I love the line about one being fire and the other gasoline. But "together as explosive as gunpowder magazines" seems like a place-holder. How about this as a chorus:

God Made 'em the devil paired 'em
Pity the mothers who had to bear them
Put together, they were meaner than mean
Like matching fire with gasoline
God Made 'em the devil praised 'em
Pity the mothers who had to raise them

Hi Dan
I like your take on the chorus and with a slight change I have used it
Thanks
Travis

A story torn right out of modern day horror tales. so many wayfaring kids, taking what they want and hurting so many in the process.~~~Matt

Thanks for your comments Matt
Travis