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God Tried His Best (also revised the 3rd verse per Meg's comments --thanks, Meg!) Breezy Point Bay On a hot summer day Those big horse flies would sometimes bite But it was alright
We'd jump on in Waves cool against our skin When those floating jelly fish would sting We still DID OUR THING (thanks, Calvin!)
CHORUS 'Cause whenever we complained Daddy'd always look pained Then he'd wink and say God tried his best And we should too On this day of rest Know we've been blessed God tried his best And we did too
We'd bring some food Express our gratitude Even sand mixed with that sandwich Was better than spinach
Coppertone Four Might leave us feeling sore But nothing could ruin our fun In his shining sun
CHORUS 'Cause whenever we complained Daddy'd always look pained Then he'd wink and say God tried his best And we should too On this day of rest Know we've been blessed God tried his best And we did too
(c) 2013, Lisa Gundling
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 02/05/13 12:34 PM.
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I'm sorry -- I posted this a few hours ago and when I checked again, I realized that I had posted the wrong chorus! It had been one of my old draft copies, instead of the final. I've posted the right one here! Excuse the bump, but I wanted to mention it! Thanks! Lisa
P.S. Noticed that I posted the wrong first verse too. Just made the change. I seem to have a dark cloud hanging over me today...
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 02/02/13 08:21 PM.
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I like it...mostly. The third verse seems kind of awkward.
As far as I can see, that's my only problem.
Makes me want to go to the beach!
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Thanks, Meg! Yes, that third verse was awkward. I changed it and I hope it's better! I should have stayed in bed today!
Thanks for your help! Lisa
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Hello Lisa good little song you got here.
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Hey Lisa, I like this! Only one nit, keep or sweep When those floating jelly fish would sting We still felt like kings <<--(This rhyme seems contrived; how would kids know what kings felt like?)
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Kind of a quirky idea. I get the impression God failed even though he tried his best. That is, if God exists at all.
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Hi James,
Thanks for your nice visit!
Lisa
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Hi Shayne,
I'm glad you like it! I think you're right about the "kings" line! I've been playing around with it today and the only thing I've come up with is, "just one of those things." But, I don't like that either! Still thinking.....thanks for putting my thinking cap on!
Lisa
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The elephant in the room seems to be God, who's been stripped of his omnipotence. An easy way to return him to his position of ultimate authority is to simply have Daddy say "I tried my best." At the end you can refer to "Daddy tried his best."
That is unless you want leave it the way it is and risk Christians coming after you with torches and pitchforks.
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Hi Jim,
All of this lyric is true....except the chorus embellishes what my dad said. I want to change this so that it accurately reflects my dad, but I haven't been able to fix it yet.
My dad was not religious at all, and was probably more agnostic than anything, though he did believe that God created everything in nature, and he thought that everything in nature was perfect. Maybe not what people would like, but perfect in and of itself. That included his children, but as his children, we were expected to revere nature.
If the flies bit us, he'd point out that they were just trying to survive, and we'd hear all about the fly's life and let's just try our best to leave the flies alone. Jump into the water but don't complain about the poor little flies. When the jellyfish stung us, we'd hear about the attributes of jellyfish, and what were we doing swimming near them, disturbing them anyway, they're easy to see, and don't blame them because they were there first, etc., etc. Sand in our sandwiches -- oh well, probably brought us a little unexpected nutrition, according to my dad. Minerals or something, etc., etc. If my mom complained that a tomato wasn't perfectly firm, and had a mushy spot, we'd hear, "Well, hon, God did the best he could." He always said it good naturedly, but we'd always think twice before complaining, because we'd end up feeling sorry for whatever thing in nature was tormenting us.
The rest of it, about being blessed, day of rest....that was NOT my dad. It was the easy way to go with the song, but I want to change it!
Thanks for your visit!
Lisa
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hey it's all part of like huh!Ya get bit,ya get stung,dad'd get pee'd but all in all,a darn good day!Aint nobody's fault!I like this Lisa.Mike
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hey it's all part of life huh!Ya get bit,ya get stung,dad'd get pee'd but all in all,a darn good day!Aint nobody's fault!I like this Lisa.Mike
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Hi Dan,
I completely missed your post! I guess I was responding to Jim when your post came in!
You are right that I stripped God of omnipotence here and I didn't mean to! And my dad didn't mean to either. Your idea would be an excellent fix, but I'm trying to capture my dad and that won't do it either. I was already lamenting that I went awry the first time....even my explanation to Jim didn't capture my dad correctly!
I'm trying to say that I'm trying to say something and I can't seem to say it. I was talking to my mom a few minutes ago, trying to get it right, and she said, "I think your father may have ultimately been a pantheist."
Can't stop laughing about the torches and pitchforks....
Thanks for your help!
Lisa
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 02/04/13 03:50 AM.
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Thanks, Mike! And hey -- I guess now you know why I felt so sorry for the mama worm in your "Wiggle Worm" song! lol! -- Lisa
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We knew not to scream.
God made our/this nest For all to use
Last edited by Frank N Furter; 02/04/13 09:38 PM.
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Hi Lisa, Loking forward to seeing how this progresses :-) We'd jump on in Waves cool against our skin When those floating jelly fish would sting We still felt like kings We still did our thing Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Lisa, Looking for to seeing how this progresses. We'd jump on in Waves cool against our skin When those floating jelly fish would sting We still felt like kings We still did out thing ? Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Frank,
Thanks for your help! I'm worried that your good scream idea will make it appear as though we'd get punished, which wasn't true. For your nest idea, I'm working on a change to the chorus and will keep your suggestions close at hand!
Lisa
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Hi Calvin,
That's great -- I've edited your suggestion in! I'm still working on a chorus change...just can't seem to nail it yet!
Thanks for your help!! Lisa
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