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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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OK, Finally got back to re-writing verse #2 -- only took me exactly one year! Nephew Sam is on college break and he added some backing vocals for me. Any comments are always appreciated. Kevin ************************************************************** I Was Wrong(c) Emmrich 2013(Intro) (verse) The sun's coming up I'm going down didn't finish what I started I'm leaving this town gotta get back home finally found out what I really wanted (chorus) coming back home that's where I belong I thought I knew what I wanted but I guess I was wrong yea, yea, yea ... yea, yea, yea I thought I knew what I wanted but I guess I was wrong (verse) Ya know I always really knew Guess I kept it inside 'till I got that call from you can't stand to hear you cry to this dream i wave goodbye 'cause you are what I choose (chorus again) (break -- verse) (bridge) hearing your voice on the telephone line reminded me of what's important giving up something ain't that bad when you add something back that's perfect (chorus again x2) (outro) It’s OK to be wrong Just don’t stay there long Kevin: Vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar Sam: Vocals BIAB: bass, percussion, banjo, acoustic guitar, piano Another 50/90 tune. Dang, this one is in desperate need of a harmony line. I tried yesterday for about a half an hour, but I just couldn't get a good one. ... and in 50/90, you have to move on. I was hoping my nephew would come over and do a harmony and hot guitar lead, but he didn't show up. If any one wants to do a harmony part -- just let me know! OK, I gave it another try today -- pathetic, but I left it in (ha, ha). Hmmm, did a country song ever have a Major 7th type progression in the bridge? I can't think of one. Enjoy! Kevin ********************************************* I Was Wrong (alt location w/o harmony: http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/songs/7645) (c) Emmrich 2011(verse) The sun's coming up I'm going down didn't finish what I started I'm leaving this town gotta get back home finally found out what I really wanted (chorus) coming back home that's where I belong I thought I knew what I wanted but I guess I was wrong yea, yea, yea ... yea, yea, yea I thought I knew what I wanted but I guess I was wrong (verse) The sky is blue not a cloud in sight I got that call from you can't stand to hear you cry to this dream i wave goodbye 'cause you are what I choose (chorus again) (break -- verse) (bridge) hearing your voice on the telephone line reminded me of what's important giving up something ain't that bad when you add something back that's perfect (chorus again x2) (outro) It’s OK to be wrong Just don’t stay there long Kevin: Vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar BIAB: bass, percussion, banjo, acoustic guitar, piano
Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 01/13/13 12:35 AM.
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Not a bad start there Kevin. Getting a kind of Kenny Chesney feel to this. Few points:
I think you need to replace the yea yea line in the chorus with a real line. Seems throw-away to me.
Liked the bridge. I'm hearing a different chord on "perfect"--need to go back to the root chord there--I think.
Come in with those harmonies right on the 1st chorus.
Solo was a bit long--I'd trim that short and sweet and make it more memorable.
The lyrics in the verses are forgettable. Watch out for weather references. They come across as filler. I'm sure there's many more different ways to convey the feeling you're having about coming home. What's so special about home that I want to hear about?--certainly not blue skies, no clouds. They're everywhere. Kick it up--you're capable.
Good start.
Zeek
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KEV--
JUST HAD TO TOY WITH THIS ONE--JMHO--CAPS--USE OR LOSE
GIRL I’VE BEEN SO WRONG
Emmrich 2011
V
The sun's coming up
I'm FEELIN’ down
CAN’T finish what I start
I'm leaving this town
WITH A HEAVY HEART
I’M HOMEWARD BOUND
(chorus)
GOING back home
that's where I belong
THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL
BUT I’VE BEEN wrong
THINKIN’ OF YOU I’M STANDIN’ TALL
I’VE BEEN GONE TOO LONG
GIRL I’VE BEEN SO wrong
V
I CLOSE MY EYES
HAVE BEEN SO BLIND
AFTER YOU CALLED
I STILL hear you cry
I’M CLIMBIN’ THIS WALL
BIG CITY NOW IT’S GOODBYE
(chorus again)
(break -- verse)
BR)
your voice DANCES FROM MY CELL PHONE
YES I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT
giving up THE BIG TIME ain't SO bad
WHEN MY SWEET THING RINGS MY BELL
(chorus again x2)
OUT
I’VE BEEN GONE TOO LONG
GIRL I’VE BEEN SO wrong
Mackie
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I think it has a very fun feel, it is definately catchy!
--Jen
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.--Mark Twain
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Hi Kevin,
I can't recall a country tune with a maj7 in it period. I like the change up. Now write one with some diminished runs in it and call it Country, lol. I thought you did well for a guy running the gauntlet to finish 50 songs. I have no problem with the yea, yea, yea line. Not every word has to be a homerun to make for an enjoyable listening experience.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Hey Kevin: Works for me  I actually like the yeah, yeah yeah line - though I think it needs two harmony parts in addition to the melody to really make it pop. I'm fighting off a summer bug at the moment. Could probably croak out a blues number but no way of doing high harmonies right now - otherwise I'd give it a shot. Willing to try later if you're still interested. Scott
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Kevin, The banjo jump-started this one. Cool sounding. This is a nice tune. Kind of a pop tune almost. Real upbeat. The lyrics are well-crafted. And the women always like a guy who's willing to admit he was wrong.
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Zeek: hello there. Hey, I like those Yea, yea, Yeas -- so there staying! "perfect" does end on the I chord -- maybe I am singing the wrong note.
I had harmonies on the first chorus, but they were pretty bad (and if I say they are bad, you know they are awful!), but I'll give it another shot of find another singer.
Can a solo be too long? I had never considered that possibility.
Lyric-wise, I hear you on those weather things, but for some reason, I am not that bothered by them. Of course, I will be looking at re-writes down the road.
**************************************************************
Mackie: Thanks for the comments on this one. You like re-writing stuff, don't you (ha, ha). I really like to keep things conversational. I just wouldn't say "HEAVY HEART", "I’M STANDIN’ TALL", "RINGS MY BELL" in normal conversation. It just makes a song sound dated. Now I do believe in some poetic license in songs (like "to this dream I wave goodbye"), but for the most part I like to keep it straight.
*****************************************
Jen: Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin. It is always appreciated.
I'll come back for the others later. It is my daughter's birthday and she has 8 teenagers over watching a movie now. They are pretty good kids, but they need servants every once in awhile.
Kevin
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Hi Kevin,
This one has a real good vibe. Strings sound great good blending of instruments. It's a good traveling song. Banjo rocks.
Peace
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Kevin...
Well who am I but I like the yeah, yeah's ...and I like this one alot, love the music, etc....
I remember being wrong once....
glyn
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Hi Kevin
Lots of good stuff here -- the mix could use some smoothing ( meaning) where things over lap mostly.
I wanted a smoother chorus couplet here
I thought I knew what I wanted
but I guess I was wrong
something like this for singing smoother
WHEN I knew what I wanted
but I guess I was wrong
I think the melody is right though ; ) jm
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Zeek: hello there. Hey, I like those Yea, yea, Yeas -- so there staying! "perfect" does end on the I chord -- maybe I am singing the wrong note.
Could be it's a different chord I'm hearing, maybe not the 1. And I know it's an exercise but I'm not a fan of the 50/90 and things like that. I think it can be helpful in some ways but in many other ways it makes a songwriter sloppy. You have to "move on" from song to song and suddenly a song becomes "good enough." There is virtually no such thing as good enough. EVERY line has to be an integral part of the tune, whether the tune is serious or fluff. I don't think the yeas add anything...JMO....but my gut has served me well over the years.
Can a solo be too long? I had never considered that possibility.
If it meanders and isn't hookish, yes. Every note counts.
Lyric-wise, I hear you on those weather things, but for some reason, I am not that bothered by them. Of course, I will be looking at re-writes down the road.
I just think they can be filler, esp since you used them in both verses.
Zeek
**************************************************************
Mackie: Thanks for the comments on this one. You like re-writing stuff, don't you (ha, ha). I really like to keep things conversational. I just wouldn't say "HEAVY HEART", "I’M STANDIN’ TALL", "RINGS MY BELL" in normal conversation. It just makes a song sound dated. Now I do believe in some poetic license in songs (like "to this dream I wave goodbye"), but for the most part I like to keep it straight.
*****************************************
Jen: Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin. It is always appreciated.
I'll come back for the others later. It is my daughter's birthday and she has 8 teenagers over watching a movie now. They are pretty good kids, but they need servants every once in awhile.
Kevin
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I just think they can be filler, esp since you used them in both verses. I guess we're both morning people. LOL -- I only used the weather reference in the 2nd verse because I had used it in the first verse. Kevin
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Good start, Kevin.
I dig that banjo.
Zeek - Great tips.
Last edited by Nelson; 07/16/11 08:52 PM.
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Stevie: I'll work on that diminished thing, sounds like a good idea! Thanks for the visit.
Scott: Let me know when you ready for a harmony try -- mine ain't working! Thanks for the listen
Calvin: Thanks, as always, for taking the time to listen and comment.
Dan: Thanks for giving it a spin. I wish I could play banjo like that!
Nathan: Thanks for stopping by, listening and leaving a comment. It is appreciated.
glyn: ha, ha -- you kind comments are always appreciated.
Joice: I'll be looking at a new recording and remixing come the fall or so. I like the couplet I have now, but I'll take a second look and see if I can do better.
Zeek II: All good observations!
Nelson: Good Start??? I thought I was about done! (ha, ha). Thanks for the listen and comments.
Kevin
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Kevin....listened to this early...I liked it...I hear so so much improvement in your overall talents....I'm a fan of yours for sure....Bob
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I like this Kevin. I really like the bridge! I also like how it builds little by little until the end.
Ricky
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Bob: Thanks for the visit and kind words. I have been at this writing / singing things for over fours years now. If I can do it for a another 50, I might actually get good (ha, ha).
Ricky The bridge is an odd one. I like it, too, but I can see how some might think it gets too far away from the country feel. But I am not too bothered by that!
Thanks to all.
Kevin
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OK, Finally got back to re-writing verse #2 -- only took me exactly one year! Nephew Sam is on college break and he added some backing vocals for me. Any comments are always appreciated. Kevin ************************************************************** I Was Wrong(c) Emmrich 2013
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Good Morning Kevin
Well done -- I enjoyed my listen
jm
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I like it. Got my foot tapping now.
Vic
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Kevin,
Nice song about a guy giving up his fantasy and going back to the one who loves him. I would like to go home, but I am stuck here in Nashville.
Jim
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Kevin,
Worth the wait, I really liked that, a really good melody for sure!
Tammy
Although, this post makes me wonder....has it been since JULY that Robert Pickens has been on JPF???
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dang it!! I can't get this tune out of my head!! Thanks Kevin!! LOL!!
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Kevin....I like the downplaying mood to the whole tune...The key, the vibe...
I do got one thing i would do if this was mine....This song has a sassiness & I do have a slight tweak to continue in the tongue-in-cheek sassiness of the tune....Because of the attitude of the whole tune I would do this:
I thought I Knew what I wanted "GUESS WHAT" ? I was wrong........
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Hi Kevin. I like the feel of this song. As far as lyrics, it's a fun song, the lyrics don't have to always be deep, poetic, or tell a perect story--although great songs usually have everything going for them. I like the guitar solo, didn't feel it was too long for this song--the "aside shout" could be louder, if your going to do it, do it, I say. The bridge will throw people the first time they hear it, as it definitely does what a bridge is supposed to do--take you a different direction. My only small nit is with the first vocal line of that bridge, keep it a little more in tonation with what we've heard and let the bridge gradually change tonation. Nice song, good job!
steady-eddie.
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Kevin,
Nice to hear one of yours.....been a while (for me).
Very smooth and well sung. Nice cheery sound. I like the combination of banjo and overdriven guitar, etc.
Getting ready for FAWM?
Colin
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Joice: Hello there, I hope all is well. Thanks for the visit and listen!
Vic: Foot-tapping is an important element of most songs. Thanks for stopping on by.
Jim: Thanks -- I bet this can applied to a lot of people who are nashville in (except they haven't left yet). But it doesn't just have to be a musical fantasy, I guess. Thanks for the visit and comments.
Tammy: Thanks for the kind words. That July 2011! Bob's last post was in November 2011. I know he went over to mostly do the singsnap type stuff, but I also know he wasn't feeling to well. I wonder if anyone has any info on him?
Tammy II: A second visit -- hello again!
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Kevin- this was a really good listen! Had my foot tapping right away, which is always a good thing. Good backing vocals as well. Well done!
Kyle
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Hey there Kevin,
Well this is certainly a catchy one! Looks like it took a while for you to get it to this point, but as they say, all good things are worth waiting for.
My only teensy nit would be the "telephone line" line. Were you going for what it would sound like on the telephone? Not sure that it's necessary...
Regardless, that's a very small matter. Overall, well done! Glad you stuck with it.
Take care,
Beth
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Steve A: Interesting idea on the "sassiness". It is not my thing (I think) so I don't think I could pull it off -- probably someone else could though. Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin.
steady-eddie: You always have thoughtful and insightful (or is that inciteful -- ha, ha) comments on all the songs here. Your presence is appreciate. Thanks for listening and commenting! The bridge thing is abrupt, I know it. But it is a quirky song.
Colin: I haven't written any thing new since July so I am just coasting. Yup, I'll do FAWM again. maybe that will get me kickstarted! Thanks for stopping by and listening.
Kyle: Nice to see you around again and thanks for the listen and kind remarks.
Beth: Long time no see. I hope all has been well. Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and comment -- it is appreciated. I realize the phone "thing" isn't necessary, but I wanted to use that effect somewhere (it was common in pop over the last few years) and that seemed a good a place as any! Thanks again.
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Yeah - the harmonies I remember this - this version sounds great, Kevin. This feels more like Americana than country to me. Like something John Mellencamp would do. Ha - I just looked and you have it in Country: Americana. Didn't even know they had that category but it's a good fit. Scott
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Hey Kevin, You know I listened to this a while back, thought I commented, but guess I didn’t. Listened to it again just now. Nice sound and mix, really liked it. That BIAB seems to be a pretty cool tool, gotta get me it!
No nits, really. Liked the way you said it’s OK to be wrong on your outro. Kind of left a positive message.
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Kevin, I took a listen to the new version. Can't remember what the original sounded like but this one sounds real good to me. The banjo gives it a touch of bluegrass. The lead guitar before the bridge is great. It all sounds good to me. Lyrics work with the music. The hook is solid. "I thought I knew what I wanted but I guess I was wrong."
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Nicely done Kevin.
For my ears the backing vocals / harmonies could come up some, they are really good.
The Chorus is outstanding... it has a great energy and a wonderful groove to it.
I still can't believe BIAB is that good. killer Banjo
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Hi Kevin. I haven't read any of the 35 reviews so please excuse me if I'm redundant. I LOVED this song. Very catchy lyrics, extremely memorable chorus that makes me want to sing along and a bridge that provides a nice musical departure. I'm guessing people will have opinions about the "yea yea yea" but I thought it was awesome and really gave the final two lines some extra punch on the lead in. Very cool. One of my favorites of yours thus far.
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