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#987189 - 12/09/12 01:48 AM The Prodigal  
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 835
Todd Strachan Offline
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Todd Strachan  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 835
Detroit Michigan
These are lyrics to a song I'm working on. Some lines are not perfectly balanced, but I'm pretty close on most. What I want to know is if repeating verse 1 or 2 after the bridge would be ok or does it need another verse? Any input is greatly appreciated!

Thanks,
Todd

The Prodigal

V1
Well here I go this is my last hoorah
everything I've done is on display.
I knew the difference between right and wrong
and I chose to do it all anyway

Chorus
Have mercy on this man, for I have lost my way
lead me back, to the path, from which I strayed.
Have mercy on this man, in you I've placed my faith.
Your love can make me whole,
Your grace will save my soul.

V2
When will I realize, you gave me the strength
to change my direction, and walk away.
Kneeled before you is a broken man
desprately trying to change his ways!

Chorus
Have mercy on this man, for I have lost my way
lead me back to the path, from which I strayed.
Have mercy on this man, in you I've placed my faith.
Your love can make me whole,
Your grace will save my soul.

Bridge
When I was younger, I ignored your calls,
I was only thinking about me.
Now that I'm older, imagine my surprise,
to find you waiting here for me!

Well here I go this is my last hoorah
everything I've done is on display.
I knew the difference between right and wrong
and I chose to do it all anyway


Chorus
Have mercy on this man, for I have lost my way
lead me back to the path, from which I strayed.
Have mercy on this man, in you I've placed my faith.
Your love can make me whole,
Your grace will save my soul.

Last edited by Todd Strachan; 12/09/12 03:53 AM.

Everything we have has come from you, and we
give you only what you have already given us!

1 Chronicles 29:14


http://www.soundclick.com/toddgstrachan
#988356 - 12/16/12 05:03 PM Re: The Prodigal [Re: Todd Strachan]  
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,316
Vondelle Offline
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Vondelle  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,316
Colorado Springs, CO, USA
Hi Todd,

This has a nice conversational feel to it for the most part.

Maybe it's just me, but I would simply say "Have mercy on me" because it is more conversational.

I guess it's okay to use the first verse after the bridge but I would like to hear something slightly different. Perhaps changing the last two lines:

Well here I go this is my last hoorah
everything I've done is on display.
(Some new line here)
Now I stand before you today.

In the bridge, I didn't like "imagine my surprise". How about just "I'm so surprised"?

Hope this is helpful.

#989119 - 12/21/12 06:06 AM Re: The Prodigal [Re: Todd Strachan]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 525
Moosesong Online content
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Moosesong  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 525
Vacaville, CA, USA
Interesting title, I like it. It made me look up the 'prodigal son' phrase that I have heard many times but only partly understood.

I think a third verse would be better than a repeat of 1 or 2, but not too big a deal.

The phrase 'last hurah' gives me the impression the singer is near death? on death row? or is it just that he is starting to reap what he has sown? It could use some clarification as to what sort of a jam the singer is in. (that might be the extra verse).

only a suggestion, consider changing
in you I've placed my faith.
to something like
help me find my lost faith


David Hunkins
Music page
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

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