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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Feb 2012
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Hi, I've neglected posting here for the last little bit on account of having had a really busy time in my personal life, but I wanted to get back into the swing of things so I've something to show everybody. I spent last summer up in the Yukon and the environment really affected me. Fireweed is a flower that grows wild everywhere up there. There is a link to me performing the song here : http://youtu.be/efKtjTy-t44 You'll have to forgive the volume, it was quite late when I was recording this, and you'll also have to forgive the facebook dings at the end. fireweedone day in the depths of winter maria came to me complaining of an illness she'd hid from me for weeks she said my love it is not passing all day i'm frail and weak I fear i'll not survive the season another spring i shall not see i held her close to me then pushed the fear i felt down deep banished the quiver from my voice and rocked my love to sleep saying it's just the cold dear wait 'til the snow's gone from our door and spring comes to our valley just as it always has before i'll gather you flowers from the hilltop there they'll look so fine on the table by the window and in your hairbut february came and went and march offered no relief one day i heard a crash in the bedroom found my love rising to her knees i helped her to her feet her legs shivered as she rose she was light as a feather just bones underneath her clothes but maria smiled for me then saying spring can't come soon enough won't you dance with me outside in the sunshine my love we'll gather us flowers from the hilltop there they'll look so fine on the table by the window and in my hairone day the frost it left my window and the snow melted from my door and spring came to our valley just as it always had before so i commenced my labour now that my shovel would pierce the ground and dug a new home for maria and lowered her down but i needed one more moment before i gave her to the deep so i stumbled up the hillside one promise still to keep and i gathered her flowers from the hilltop there and wove them 'round her casket as though to weave them through her hair
Last edited by ColinFerguson; 08/09/12 08:36 AM.
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Wonderful journey Colin...and you've turned it into a song.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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So glad I listened. Choked me up. Powerful story man.
Last edited by JustinTravis; 08/09/12 02:24 PM.
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Hi Colin,
Sad, but beautifully sad and sweet!
Geneva
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Thanks everyone, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.
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This is so well written and touching. Aside from a few minor things, as far as the lyric itself, I think if you could find a way to actually place a flower or two IN her hair, it would make for a very 'teardrop moment', especially since you've already mentioned them looking "fine... and in your hair." The image of him placing them in his dead lady's hair is totally gripping.
As to the music, I think you need a distinctive chorus for a much-needed break. The music is fine, but after 4 whole verses, it begins to wear thin. Maybe some variance within the verses would help also.
Darn good writing.
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You're right, the lyric would be more powerful that way. I'm thinking of something like...
and I gathered her flowers, from the hilltop there, and I gave her to the mountain, with flowers in her hair
I think I like that better, thank you for the advice.
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Hi Collin,
You have just a power gift...love your singing and guitar~ you never disappoint to write a lyric that really touchs the listener. Beautiful!
~Jackie
Last edited by Jackie444; 08/10/12 02:24 AM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Hi Jackie,
I'm glad to hear you liked it. You've always been very complimentary and encouraging towards me and I greatly appreciate it. I'm a very shy person in general so it takes a lot of positive reinforcement for me to continue showing my work to others.
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Just cool to know you before you become famous : )
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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hey Colin,i really liked this one.Although that Fireweed up in the Yukon must be different from ours,if you brush up against ours,it will feel like a fire!Keep up the nice work!Mike
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Hi Michael, That's strange, so is what you call fireweed something like poison ivy? Up in the Yukon it's a purple flower that's everywhere during the spring and summer.
Last edited by ColinFerguson; 08/11/12 06:13 PM.
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I don't think i ever seen a bloom on it,it has lots of bristles and can welp you up pretty bad,not a poison ivy or poison oak,just another plant you don't wanna wipe your butt with,LOL!Mike
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Very poetic,sad and very moving. wonderfully written.
Peace Joe
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beautiful and sad colin. you grabbed me from the start and held me to the finish.
very, very well done.
douglas
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Thank you very much Douglas and Joe, I'm glad to hear you liked it.
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Here, just for fun, is an old one with a different take. It actually has a twin, Cannibal Chianti, and both were written for some dumb contest we were having here...
BTW, as I recall, doing the research for this lyric, I learned that they call it Fireweed because it's the first vegetation that comes back after a forest fire...
klondike Cabernet ©2001
I was late as usual bonanza creek was dry still we were all hopeful cause it wasn’t us that died on that journey to the yukon in that rush for all that gold when we got to dawson city nothing's left 's what we were told
now I came from the land of grape knew how to make the wine but these northern regions have never seen a vine I found me a replacement could do the job indeed eight feet tall and everywhere magenta fireweed
that purple flower it’s the best I crush it in a pail a tad or two of quillwort winter green and beaver tail I pour in boiling water let it stand for just a day with sugar n yeast it all ferments it's klondike cabernet
had a kinda reddish glow knocked me hindways in my tent so I knew I had a winner that would help me pay the rent went to dawson city’s landmark diamond gertie’s gambling hall she asked me how I made it, I said its everywhere and eight feet tall
that purple flower it’s the best I crush it in a pail a tad or two of quillwort winter green and beaver tail I pour in boiling water let it stand for just a day with sugar n yeast it all ferments it's klondike cabernet
bonanza creek has long been gone many’s yet searching, overdrawn while I’ve grown rich, my gold is there in that fireweed it’s everywhere
that purple flower it’s the best I crush it in a pail a tad or two of quillwort winter green and beaver tail I pour in boiling water let it stand for just a day with sugar n yeast it all ferments into klondike cabernet
big pharma's come to use it prescribe it for your pain colds spasms, colic, and hiccups and erections unsustained
that purple flower it’s the best I crush it in a pail a tad or two of quillwort winter green and beaver tail I pour in boiling water let it stand for just a day with sugar n yeast it all ferments it's klondike cabernet
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Hi Colin,
This gave me goosebumps -- just beautiful! I, too, wanted the flowers in her hair somehow...
Lisa
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Thank you very much, and I agree with you.
Currently I have the lyric as :
And I gathered her flowers, from the hilltop there, and I gave her to the mountain, with flowers in her hair.
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Thank you very much, and I agree with you.
Currently I have the lyric as :
And I gathered her flowers, from the hilltop there, and I gave her to the mountain, with flowers in her hair. Thats a perfect rewrite of the last verse. Wow!
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Thanks Justin.
And John, I just noticed your post now sorry. I hadn't heard that origin of the name 'fireweed' before thank you for the information.
The klondike cabernet lyrics are clever, one thing I noticed while living in the Yukon is they'll put fireweed in everything so it might just exist.
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colin... like the others said.... great job on this one! very touching dude!! :)))) scotty
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Very touching song, Colin. I'd like to see you change the inverted phrase "another Spring I shall not see" to something like "I shall not see another Spring" which rhymes as well. I like your change in the last chorus. But I think it takes too long to get to the chorus in the beginning (for commercial value). If this is a true story, wow, and God bless you.
Betty J. Holt
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Thank you very much Richard.
Betty,I'd be curious to know why you'd change the phrasing on that particular line.
Cheers, Colin
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