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#966442 - 07/03/12 03:51 PM Voodoo Smile......... Thx guys  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Thanks for your time Guys.
I'll let this marinate for a while before I go at it again.


Iíve been trying to write a title track, to draw folks to the Voodoo Smile album. (which does not exist)
I want it to be the kind of song that's fun to play.
Give the drummer someÖ give the axe man some etc.
I may have to get serious about my guitar work for this one.
Especially in the chorus, I think the strength of the song may depend on it.
I'm sure you'll get the general idea of what I'm going for.

[Linked Image]

Voodoo Smile remix 7/22/12
by MisterNelson
©2012


Last edited by Nelson; 08/01/12 11:46 AM.

"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#966482 - 07/03/12 07:44 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Michael LeBlanc Online content
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Michael LeBlanc  Online Content
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hey i like this Nelson!I could go with this rocker but i guess for me would be a slower bluesier swamp vibe to it.I think your vocal would be a much better fit with that style on this song anyway.So i guess i made it a little bit harder for you,LOL,heck you know what you want,This one does kick butt though!Mike

#966545 - 07/04/12 09:48 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
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Calvin Online content
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Hi MISTER NELSON,

THIS song makes me smile real big.
NICE JOB.
Sooooo many good lines in it.
This song rocks & has "cool" written all over it.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#966555 - 07/04/12 10:53 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Calvin]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Could do with more contrast between verses and chorus either or both, rhythm and melody.
The bridge was refreshing.

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 07/04/12 10:53 AM.

http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#966561 - 07/04/12 11:18 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Oh I found me a new Nelson song! I love it! I hear a couple of very, very minor things lyrically that I'll throw at ya. smile

Verse 1
I heard a little birdie say,
Mister; you donít want to go that way
Mark my words you will rue the day.
That sexy little woman came your way.
Sheíll treat like youíre the last man alive.
And the way she moves can make a grown man cry
Donít mistake thereís danger in her eyes.
Like dancing with the devil, youíre playing with fire I wonder if there is another word you could use here instead of devil. The coaches at Song have drilled in my head that it's not a good idea to repeat words especially words from the chorus. Perhaps you could say satan?

Chorus
I know itís all wrong and I know I should care
I know Iím on the devilís train and going nowhere.
And though, Iíve been working on good bye for a while.
I lose control when she shows thatÖ
That Voodoo Smile
Her Voodoo Smile
My heart canít oppose it and everyone knows that I wanted to hear "everyone knows it" I think oppose it/knows it would sound cool, just an idea that I had while listening. smile
Iím hanging from a cliff of denial. AWESOME line!!!
Verse
Sheís wicked as medusa but hid the signs.
Her spell has me hooked, pole sinker and line.
Her every desire, Iíll walk the earth to find.
When down to her last breath. Sheís welcomed to mine. Another awesome line!
I got to get a grip because Iím tripping through time.
Sexy little mama got me losing my mind.
Trying to let go, while holding on tight. Love this.
How can this be so wrong, when it feels so right?
Chorus
I know Iím doing wrong and I know I should care
I know Iím on the devilís train and going nowhere.
And though, Iíve been working on good bye for a while.
I lose control when she shows
That voodoo smileÖ
Her Voodoo Smile..
Donít know if I will survive
Bridge
People always telling me, the bill of goods she selling me, is gonna ruin my life.
I say people take it easy, for the way sheís pleasing me, another roll of the dice.
Repeat Chorus
Bridge #2
Iím sick of people always telling me, the way they think things aut to be and how Iím ruining my life.
So people take it easy, when you fucking see me, because Iím the one rolling the dice.
I think itís all wrong but not really sure. Iíve been on this train for a while.
Every time I make up my mind to head for the door she hits me with that Voodoo smile
Voodoo Smile
Voodoo Smile

There are so many great lines and as I said the changes I suggested are very minor and kos of course. I love this! smile

Dottie

#966613 - 07/04/12 08:30 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Dottie]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Mike
Thanks a lot as if it isn't hard enough.
Seriously the other version is a bit mellower. (is that a word)
The problem is the bridge here doesn't go well with the other version, so I'll have to figure something out.

Calvin
So glad you're diggin this one.
Honestly just trying to write a really kick ass song.
Something FUN. Fun to sing along with and fun to play.

Neil
Thanks for stopping by. I changed the bass line in the verses to increase the contrast to the chorus. Actually just decreased the number of notes.

Dottie
Glad you liked it.

For me, Satan lacks the punch of, "the devil's train" and "dancing with the devil".
Be careful of coaches and those songwriting rules.
You must determine the value of each word, of every line, in every verse or chorus.

My heart canít oppose it and everyone knows that I wanted to hear "everyone knows it" I think oppose it/knows it would sound cool, just an idea that I had while listening.
Iím hanging from a cliff of denial AWESOME line!!!

"Everyone knows that I'm hanging from the cliff of denial". is one single thought. I didn't want to chop it up, for the easy rhyme. I challenged myself to sell the fact that the words "it and that" sounds exactly alike. grin grin maybe I've been hangin from that cliff too long.

Truth is I stressed the words oppose and knows instead of it and that.

Sugar, I hope my ramblin made some sense. smile






"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#966692 - 07/05/12 04:58 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Paul H. Gaines Offline
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Mr. Nelson

I like the retro feel. Good tune, works for me as is.

Cheers
Paul


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1016904

Complacency is failure's mentor.
Book of Paulverbs
#967117 - 07/09/12 12:37 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Paul H. Gaines]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Paul H. Gaines
Mr. Nelson

I like the retro feel. Good tune, works for me as is.

Cheers
Paul

Paul
I appreciate your time and the listen.
Glad you liked it.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#967170 - 07/10/12 01:16 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Mackie H. Online content
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MISTER NELSON--

I USED TO KNOW THIS VOO DOO GAL TOO--I'M GLAD YOU HAVE HER NOW!

SHE CAN STICK A PIN IN THE DOLL--A PAIN IN THE GROIN--SHE JUST SMILES--

A GOOD ONE BROTHER!

Mackie

#967199 - 07/10/12 11:11 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Mackie H.]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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You have improved the contrast


http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#967227 - 07/10/12 02:13 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Nelson,

OOOH, I love the ending on this, it leaves me wanting MORE!!

You've hit on something really good there at the end, it is really good.

Great song again and I want my Nelson cd!!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#967412 - 07/12/12 01:36 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: TamsNumber4]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Hey Nelson! I like your style. I have a couple of opinions that I'll throw at you that you can take or ignore. I agree with Neil Cotton about the verse and chorus needing to be a bit more distinct. I just worked on a song with a co-colaborator where we had a similar issue. I don't think you need to re-write the music, there are a lot of songs especially in "pop" music, where the chorus and verse music is very similar. You might look at a couple things: 1) Use the last chorus tag line only in the last chorus to give it more power at the end. 2) Experiment with a quick musical or drum interlude before jumping on the chorus; (it may or may not work) but when you do jump on the chorus, RAISE the intensity with your vocals to let people know we're here baby at the chorus, so to speak if you get my drift. Also make sure the last vocal line of the verse before the chorus doesn't come across too bold to even better contrast the dynamics of the chorus.

I'm not sure about this thought, which was maybe to shorten the verses a line or two to allow for the last chorus to tag even longer. These are more of "producing" ideas. I didn't delve into the lyrics, but nothing bad jumped out at me. I always prefer not having "four same vowel rhymes" as you do in the first verse (say, way, day, way) -- but I I can live with that. I really like the music -- very nice job, I think you can improve it with a few tweaks.

eswartz - steady-eddie

#967688 - 07/14/12 08:04 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: E Swartz]  
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Circling the drain and loving every minute. smile

Not enough people write that kind of thing anymore - my kind of song!

Love it, Nelson!

"When down to her last breath. Sheís welcomed to mine." - One of many great lines. smile

Scott

#967936 - 07/16/12 02:20 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Nelson Offline
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Fast Steady Eddie
Pleasure to meet you and thank you for taking the time to listen.
I appreciate your suggestions.
Well see how it goes.

Scott
"Circling the drain and loving every minute."
Now that's a new one for me... and me likes it.

As for the lines...They keep coming and I'll keep jotting them down.
I have such high hopes for the eventual music for this song that I think the lyrics really have to have some kick ass lines to compete or at least hold their own.
We'll see


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#968067 - 07/17/12 12:41 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: E Swartz]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
RAISE the intensity with your vocals to let people know we're here baby at the chorus, so to speak if you get my drift.


Though I'd like to think I'm becoming more comfortable with my vocals, it's obvious I'm not because I still find it unnerving to as you say, "raise the intensity of my vocals", through out a song. especially on faster more upbeat songs.
Yet another fear to over come.
But, I'm working on it.

Thanks for the input


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#968846 - 07/22/12 11:37 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Nelson Offline
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Took another shot at this one. Well the plan was to replay some of the parts and redo some of the vocals but nothing felt good so I decided to try to squeeze more from the song, through the mix.

I removed somethings, added a little, muted some, turned somethings up and some down. Still trying for more contrast between verse and chorus. Tried to kick the 2 bridge sections up a notch with tambourine, cymbal and cowbell.

Baby steps... eh?


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#968871 - 07/23/12 01:38 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Nelson]  
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Man, Nelson...how on earth did I miss this...

Great, Great, Great...loving it.....wow......can't stop listening...

you man, are Great....................


glyn

#968885 - 07/23/12 05:54 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: glynda]  
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Hey there Nelson....I didn't warm up to this right away.....but after the first 30", I fell into the track and was reliving the late 70's and all those smoke filled teen parties that I, at the time, thought I invented.
Good stuff! -Tom

#968962 - 07/23/12 04:00 PM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: IronKnee]  
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This is really cool, Nelson! You have so many great lines here that really make it a strong piece! I enjoyed my listen from beginning to end! Lisa

#969994 - 07/29/12 02:15 AM Re: Voodoo Smile [Re: Lisa Gundling]  
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Nelson Offline
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Glynda
Thank you Thank you Thank you so much for putting up with my
Rock & Soul.

Tom
I get that quite often.
As long you come around, I am thrilled.

Parties....Yeah wild times they were.

Lisa
I wanted a cool line overload with this song.
The title intrigue me so that I thought it was a necessity.
So glad it worked out.
Thanks for the kind words.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#970060 - 07/29/12 04:22 PM Re: Voodoo Smile......... remixed 7/22/12 [Re: Nelson]  
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HAUGESUND,NORWAY
Nelson , I love the vibe of this song . You make me believe everytime You sing .

To me the guitar solo panned left steals to much of the attention trueout the song . Sometimes , less is more !!!

All the best
Jan


"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is.
Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."

#970109 - 07/30/12 01:34 AM Re: Voodoo Smile......... remixed 7/22/12 [Re: Jan Petter]  
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Nelson Offline
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Hi Jan
Good to hear from you on this one.
I get the Less is more, thing, for sure but I'm experimenting on mixing some noodling in under the verse of a song.

It's something I love and now trying to learn to do it.
I've been told to drop the highs and bring up the lows could push it back a bit from the vocals.
Not totally working so, for the time being I removed it from the 1st verse and panned it over to the right side in the 2nd verse. Let it screw up the harmonies and not so much the lead vocals. lol

Again, good to hear from you.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"

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"The commercial that says "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" may be true. Our job should be making sure that we give the person we are judging the chance to make that first impression themselves, in person, for real." ‚ÄďBrian Austin Whitney
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