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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Hey folks Hope everyone's having a great weekend. Still trying to get a grasp of that damn piano. This is my first complete pie anna composition. flaws and all Want to hear something funny. This is the 3rd change of the album cover art, the 3rd album name change and the 3rd year working on the album. Leave It All Beihind by MisterNelson Verse 1 Somewhere in the heartland, a family takes him in. Just a hand in the field but soon he’s just like kin. One night over dinner, the wife says holding back tears. Since we lost our son, in Iraq 1, it’s been so cold in here. We where wondering, if you’d like to stay, until the planting season starts. because having you here; has warmed our broken hearts… he said. I don’t know where I belong. I live my life, as a rolling stone. So please forgive me, if I don’t stay for long. You’ve been so kind. Bless your souls. Chorus But there’s a feeling that comes over me, when I see a train roll by. Or hear an engine start or a plane cross the sky. The open road, it owns my soul, when she makes up her mind. She sings to me, her sweet melody and I… Leave it all behind. Time and time… again I know not… what I expect to find. For, I’m blind, to the signs… Perpetual loneliness will always be mine. Verse 2 Lazy... Hazy... Summer day. Iced tea and old oak trees cooling in the shade. With his angel, heaven sent. He’s happy and content. And she thanks her lucky stars for him. Times goes by and the night’s just right. They finish the meal, he dims the lights. Gets down on his knee, ask for her hand. With tears in her eyes she smiles and says... I don’t know where I belong. I live my life, as a rolling stone. So please forgive me, if I don’t stay for long. You’ve been so kind. Bless your soul. Chorus But there’s a feeling that comes over me, when I see a train roll by. Or hear an engine start or a plane cross the sky. The open road owns my soul, when she makes up her mind. She sings to me, her sweet melody and I… Leave it all behind Time and time… again I know not… what I expect to find. For, I’m blind, to the signs… Perpetual loneliness will always be mine.
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Nice tune. It's got a loose, rambling feel to it. Nice vocal.
The piano's definitely OK.
The organ towards the end didn't do much for me.
I think the tune would work better w/ a female singing the 2nd half.
Really nice writing and storytelling Nelson,
Peace,
Ian
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Hi MISTER NELSON, This is a cool performance. I'm usually not toooo wordy so while just LOOKING at the words it seems like a lot but while listening I sure enjoyed what ya did. Lots of cool lines ..... I love the feel of what the chorus is saying. GREAT sounding guitar in v 2 and of course your vocals are real & earthy. THANK for giving us another nice song. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Nelson
You have a great voice, and it's deservedly in the front, and it doesn't need much on it to sound great.
I couldn't wrap my ears around the structure of the song, though. It felt like the were 4 or 5 sections to it. I really liked this part:
I don’t know where I belong. I live my life, as a rolling stone. So please forgive me, if I don’t stay for long. You’ve been so kind. Bless your souls.
After 3 listens, I get the structure. I'd call it an "epic" structure, in that it feels like there indeed several discreet sections, and it takes awhile before anything repeats. It's not that this can't work, it's just hard to pull off without everything else working really well together.
The musicianship seemed okay, but the arpeggios started to bother me after a while, and I was thinking that the block chords like in the verses and the "I don't know where I belong sections" would have been absolutely fine all through the song, a few effects would have helped to put them in back of your vocals better--especially the chordal instruments. You are getting by here with no guitars (except a fuzz lead) and no drums of any kind. That forces the focus on those keyboards. Them and your voice. Your voice holds up fine, but the keyboards feel weak, to me, in spots.
I don't know...maybe it's a cliche, but with your voice, I'd be going a Memphis or 'Muscle Shoals sound', all the way. I'd have a B3 Hammond be the main keys, and I'd make you work to a click track, and make sure that you had a strong rhythm section and rhythm guitarist working with you. I think you have a voice that would warm a lot of peoples souls to hear. This is the only song I've heard by you. I hope the others aren't so rambly, cuz your voice and your words are great, but in my opinion, you could get two whole songs out of this, instead of one epic one.
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/27/12 11:18 AM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Ian Thanks for stopping by and having a listen. If by lose and rambling, your talking about structure, then you hit the nail on the head. The verses and chorus are pretty obvious but the rest was added strictly to my taste. I decided not to try to label them, pre chorus, lift or bridge. Female in the 2nd half, good idea.
Calvin Glad you took a shot, wordiness and all. I always appreciate your time. I'm glad you got it... not just that you like it but you got what the song was about. I always feel that I'm running out of good lines but I keep getting lucky.
Michael Pleased that you stopped by for a listen. As far as structure, I get that a lot from folks but I also hear from folks that the song tends to unfold for them, the more they listen to them. Nothing pleases me more. Tough to pull off? It's all tough for me. These are just the growing pains of trying to create something unique, as I learn this craft.
Musicianship: arpeggios worked for me because I'm horrible musician. I'm doing OK putting together progressions but finding filler notes and chords to fill out musical phases is still a pain. The "I don't know were I belong" section is one of my favorite parts. I only use Eq to try and move things to the back ground and foreground. What FX would you suggest?
The forced focus is intentional. No distractions. I want to be better singer and I want to be a better composer for piano. Step one create something and put it out there and here we are.
Yes you're right it is cliche but I hear things like that all the time and I appreciate the compliment. I will eventually work with some real musicians and singers but I'm in my learning stage.
Cutting a song in half to make two songs? Blasphemous Brother I don't know your process but to suggest...
Well, I'll leave that alone because I'm sure most folks will probably agree with you.
I love the ramblin feel in a song. I've been working with the cookie cutter structures lately. vcvcbc etc. so much that I thought I'd treat myself. It felt like a breath of fresh air.
Thanks again for your time, Michael.
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nelson.... the others have given you some good ideas and comments... i enjoyed the listen!! :)))) scotty
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MISTER NELSON--
FOR ME, THIS ONE, BRINGS ON COMPLEX THOUGHTS, MIXED WITH THINGS IN MY LIFE TOO--I CAN TURN THE VOLUME DOWN, AND STILL HEAR THE SONG MOVE AS A RIVER FLOWING--THEN WHEN IT ENDS, I SIT THINKING: I SEE SOME OF ME IN MISTER NELSON'S PERFORMANCE--A RAW EXPRESSION--MAYBE "WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE WE BELONG!" -- BUT I'M LEFT WITH A GOOD FEELING, ABOUT THE JOURNEY!
WRITE ON BRO'--
Mackie
Last edited by Mackie H.; 05/29/12 06:28 PM.
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Hi again Nelson,
Suggesting you cut a song in two would indeed be blasphemous! I would never suggest that. I did say that I thought you had enough material for two songs, and I also said that "epic song" structure is possible, but hard to pull off. I am all for you exploring creative possibilities that make you happy, or what's the point? I was just letting you know how it felt from one listener's POV, mine.
I think you have a grasp on the most important effects and mixing techniques, to make vocals pop out of a mix. That is basically, move instruments that overlap the voices range, away from the center, and use EQ sparingly to give them a "place" in the mix, but not competing with the main vocal. Reverb can help to put things like your keyboards and fuzz tone farther in back of your voice. Drums, too. Some folks just put a big reverb on the snare, and semi-dry, the rest of the kit. I tend to leave the bass guitar, reverb free, cuz it just sounds muddy otherwise. So with "Leave It All Behind" you could probably get a nicer mix with a medium room reverb more pronounced, in your mix, on the keyboards and fuzz. A tiny amount of hall reverb on your voice would match the "epic feel" of your song, I am thinking.
It sounds like you are playing everything live?
You have a computer, since you are here, right?
Have you ever considered a PC based setup? You might find it makes professional sounding recordings on a shoestring budget, a reality.
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/29/12 09:39 AM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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i liked the way you used the organ ...i kind of wanted some more of the organ ... especially at the end ... to continue to build the chorus as you end the song ... it faded out and i thought it was going to go out with a bang so to speak ...
nevertheless i really enjoyed this ... nice job!
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Hey Nelson - You have a nice vocal tone. I think this song takes too long to get to the chorus. And when it does, it doesn't distinguish itself enough from the verses. I think you need to contrast (and shorten) your sections a bit more. check this out, it may help... http://www.successforyoursongs.com/past-newsletter-issues/issue-16/
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Michael I'm really glad I misunderstood you there. As far as mixing goes, I'm slowly wrapping my head around the idea of keeping the frequencies of the different parts from over lapping. The use of reverb and other fx to move things around, I find really fascinating. So much I look forward to learning, on this journey. My head spins and my heart beat, races just thinking about it. As for a pc setup, maybe down the road. Thanks again for your time and input/suggestions.
Richard Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Mackie So glad you got to hear and enjoy this one. Your words on how the song affected you, were just music to my ears. This is why I write, to touch the hearts of others.
Garner I too love the sound of the organ, so I thought I'd try it out along side the piano. As, I'm just starting to play the piano, this is about as much of, "going out with a bang" as I could muster. I'm the type of songwriter who always revisits his songs so as I get better, I always look to bring the songs along too.
Anthony Thanks for your time and suggestions.
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Hey Nelson. I heard this song when it first came out & you recorded it. I liked the original version way better. This version is just too busy and the lyric is cut into segments, so it doesn't flow like it should. You got the voice, and like I always say, less is more. You don't need no fancy production.
I remember when I heard it for the first time, and chills went down my spine.
Your biggest fan & friend,
Kevin
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Hey Kevin It's been awhile. Great to hear from you. Yours seems to be the prevailing view of this version but as You know, we can never leave well enough alone.
In search of something, gotta keep pushing.
I bet Blueberry Hill's killing it, this festival season. Congrats.
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what can i say Nelson,i'm a fan of yours and just realy dig your style.
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Hey Michael
Thanks for stopping by and for the encouraging words.
U R 2 KIND
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I think I do remember this one -- is this a re-do. Your writing is always top notch and emotional as are your performances. (I just saw the other Kevin's comments. If that is true, then I think I liked the first version better -- if I can remember that far back). This one is still supper-Nelson-cool.
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Hey thanks Kevin. I'm grateful that anyone likes anything I do but a liked song is not a destination for me. I'm always trying to give my songs new life and in the process growing as an artist. Instead of covering other folks songs, I cover my own to see just how creative I can be and the song evolves.
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Hi Nelson,
My first listen I was just paying attention to your melody, piano, and organ stuff. I am impressed. Sounds like you are getting that piano down well. Sounds like Michael had some good suggestions with using more reverb on it. Maybe you can use the sustain pedal a little more.
The second time I payed more attention to the lyrics. Wow, it would be interesting to know what is going on in your head when you write your songs. I felt like i could picture exactly what you were singing. very cool.
Keep up the great stuff!
g
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Mr Nelson
Ahhhhhhhhhh that VOICE ... could charm the hair off my skin : )
I So enjoy listening to you -- epic is fine in my book - keep pushing that envelope -- this is good story telling and you do have something to say.
The only thing -- on this mix -- and MY system -- I was hearing some feedback -- so something was a bit hot -- move your mic placement -- if you are singing along with the piano ?? perhaps -- try another spot or take the edge off of the high end ?
I did not read all the comments - so maybe that was mentioned already
Anyway -- truly a pleasur listening to your work Best regards jm
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Hi Nelson, I hear so much of myself in you. Well I don't hear your great voice in me but I hear the songwriting journey we are both on. It always makes me laugh to think about it. How can a few cords and melody get so complicated. But it sure is. There is a lot to like about this song. I really like the story. I like the tone. Sorrowful, aways works for me. Could it be tightened up, yes it could. But that is the journey isn't it. We have to explore what works and what does not. ' Funny thing about this songwriting, I can never really hear a song I write until I go back to it months later. I wish I could really understand my songs at the time but I can't. I suspect this is true for most of us.
That said Nelson, you have what most of us would sell our soul for, a compelling (interesting) sound and vision.
Keep it up, Tom
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Glen Glad to hear from you. Mike is a piano man so I'll always consider what he has to say. I don't have any pedals but I'm experimenting with reverb. As far as what going on in this head of mine. It can be a bit crowded in there and sometimes it like an echo chamber. Hello... Hello... Hello... Hello
Joice U R 2 Kind. I'm so happy you enjoy my work. Good ear. This was a rather rough recording and mixing session. I hope to get cleaner recordings next time around. I'll play around with mic placement for better sound quality. Thanks for your suggestions and your support.
Tom Thanks for taking the time to give it a listen. As for the journey, I'm loving it. I'm always pushing myself to afford my songs the opportunity to become great, by allowing them to evolve. As far as hearing the song when you write it, one thing I do now is not write anything down for months. Just turn it around and around in my head, building the story. By the time I start writing, it feels like I'm writing from an old memory. Feels less like I'm creating it and more like I'm remembering it.
Strange I know but what ever works eh?
Thanks again
One of, if not, the best compliment ever sent my way. "That said Nelson, you have what most of us would sell our soul for, a compelling (interesting) sound and vision."
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Nelson, your a brave man. Piano scares me to death, lol.. really you don't have to play anything, just sing... you should probably sing one for me sometime
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Hi Nelson
I just don't feel like criticizing any element of this song, cause the soul in it got to me before I started to think about that.
The music matched the mood and the lyrics start you thinking. I just enjoyed it.
Doug
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Nelson, awesome awesome vocals. I agree with some of the comments that the song does ramble on somewhat... but hey, there's nothing wrong with longer story-type songs.
The piano is coming along.
Keep it up.
Mike D.
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Louis U R 2 Kind. I agree playing and trying to compose for the piano is a daunting task but so is singing and playing any other instrument, for me but I must try. I’ve embarked on this musical journey with a lofty goal of creating one great song in my life time. To that end, I feel I must be fully engrossed, into all aspects of the process. So yes, I really do have to play, write and perform, as painful as it may be. Hey DougThanks for stopping by and to be honest, that’s exactly what I’d hoped for the song. To make you feel something. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Hey Mike Thanks for the listen and the cudo’s but I’m curious about the rambling. I’m finding that rambling in critiques tend to mean “too long”. Is that what you meant because to me rambling is not being focused and bouncing from one subject to another? At 6:35 I get that it’s too long for most folks but if its lack of focus, please let me know where you feel it start going astray. As for playing and composing for piano, man, its both brutal and exciting. Thanks again for your time.
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Nelson, I guess I should choose my words better! I don't believe that you were 'rambling', but rather, that it is a bit long. That said, you manage to keep it together for the length of the song. There is nothing wrong with its current length (if that is how you intend it). The impact of the story, though, probably has its greatest potential in a shorter form. That is to say, the average listener is not accustomed to tunes of this length.
In the end, whatever it is you are doing, keep it up! We all enjoy hearing your music here.
Mike D.
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Hey MisterNelson, I like this, but it's too long IMO (6:34) and the title is not mentioned until 2:45; most singles are near over by then. I believe you could prune this and make it a much better song. Keep working on it.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Hey Mike Thanks for getting back to me on this. Writing a long song was not my intention but not to shorten it for the sake of making it more appealing to listeners, was intentional. Honestly I give absolutely no thought to what listeners want or are accustomed to, when I’m creating a song. My only concern is that the song successfully captures the emotions / feelings embodied in the initial story. It’s not as important to me that people like it as it is that it is focused and saying exactly what I intended it to say. Folks will come around.
Hey Shayne Thanks for the listen and input. I know the length will put some folk off. In my creative process the story reinforces the title, not when or how many times, I repeat the title. I know, mine is not the prevailing view, so point well taken and thanks again for taken the time.
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Hey Nelson: Sorry it took so long to get to this - was out for awhile and am playing catch-up. I remembered it right away. I'm going to go against the grain some and say I like this version better. Michael called it epic. I agree. I also happen to love epic. I would even call this one cinematic. Not going to critique it because it is one of those that defies critique for me. If a song takes me away, I consider it a success. Yeah, this won't be a radio cut. But, man, this is why we do music. Scott
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Nelson my friend,
I'm with Joice...I LOVE YOUR Voice (hey, that rhymes...giggle)
I'm not sure which version I like better...I loved your voice with the piano and the emotion it adds..oh, just get the cd out..I'm desperate for it...LOL!!
Tammy
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ScottDon't sweat it man. I'm just glad you got chance to hear it. As Steven King proves with the very big books he writes, if you can keep the story interesting then length won't be a problem with listeners or readers. Definitely don't sweat the critique brother, that's the least of my interest when I post. First and foremost, I want to know if the song takes you some place and makes you feel something. I'll deal with quality of the recording and musicianship later but for now the substance, the vibe and the heart of the song is my major concern. So your comments on that front were more helpful then, Hey nelson, You still suck as a musician and mixer. TammyYou better hurry up and copyright that rhyme and that darling little giggle, of yours. Don't know what to say but thanks, as always U R 2 Kind. Well as for the project, I just registered the songs with the copyright office and to my surprise it turned out to be 26 songs. I couldn't believe it. So I have a few to choose from and that's quite a luxury. But to answer your question, I have no idea but I swear I'm working hard on it.
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ALWAYS love the tone of your vocals, Mister N! this has a great feel to it ... very nice. On the 3's .... 3'd time's a charm?? It really kicks me emotionally at "lost our son" and just grabs my attention in to hold it. Thumbs up from me! L
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Hi Nelson, I don't know how I missed this I guess I've been working outside too much! I ALWAYS love to hear you sing. This is lovely but honestly I would enjoy hearing you sing anything. So, you're working on a cd? I love the cover and hope you don't change it again. This picture is WAY cool!!! Dottie
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Linda Thanks so much for stopping by and I'm glad you were touch by the song.
Dottie You can never work too much outside, fresh air is the nectar of life. That being said, I really appreciate your time and kind words of encouragement. Yeah this is year 3 writing the songs for the project. Your thumbs up on the cover is duly noted.
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Seems like I heard this before. Either I checked this out and didn't comment or you had another version up here before?
I like the feeling of this song a lot but did you slow it down? I really do think the bpm's should be bumped up a bit. I like the simplicity of the music but an acoustic guitar along with the piano would help fill it out a bit. Maybe even bump it up to a fuller production on the second chorus to the end.
Really good song. Love the lyrics. Hope you throw in a little more production and speed this up!
Ricky
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Yeah Rick, it's the second take. I wanted to hear it exclusively on piano. And I need to work on my playing and composing on the piano.
The first version is a contrast of lighter music with the heavy emotional story. My intent with this version was too slow it down and weigh it down as to leave the listener with no where to go emotionally but deeper into the story. Where as in the initial version they could escape some what into the lighter music. I intend to make it uncomfortably slow with a hint of a reprieve in the Chorus. For now I'm just listening to it and taking in the helpful comments. I do hear stings of some sort being added, be it acoustic guitar, cello or violins. I'm not quite sure. I'll consider the build up at the end.
Thanks for your time and suggestions.
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