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#963580 06/10/12 11:07 AM
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Hi Y'all,

Another old song, but I re-orchestrated this from the ground up, as the home studio has been improving.

Hope you enjoy...once again, my apologies to Joe South...

http://michaelzaneski.bandcamp.com/track/the-clam-song

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=908328&songID=11697890

The Clam Song
(C)1994 and 2006 Michael Zaneski

I hate bein' a clam
A foot and a mouth are about all I am
Stuck in my shell, this is no inner sanctum
And out of all this food around
All I can eat's plankton

But make me an oyster
And I'd make great pearls
And mussels seem to have the knack
For pickin' up girls
But this water's so dirty
From your garbage and spills
That almost gettin' beached is all
I ever do for thrills

And I drift with the tides
That's why this march of I'd's
I'd rather be a seahorse
Hey that's no charge for the ride
At the bottom of the food chain
You don't much give a damn
Oh I guess I'm just unhappy as a clam

Makin' love the clam way means
That you never touch
And the thought of shells collidin'
Never turned me on much
I'm a failure at clam love but
God knows I've tried
When I do I just get so
Scallopy inside

And I drift with the tides
And this ain't no sea of bliss
I'd rather be a starfish
Hey that's no charge for the wish
Sea life gets so boring
How much more can I stand
Oh I guess I'm just unhappy as a clam

They slung a rope 'round my family
Hauled 'em off on some ship
Turned my mom into chowder
And my dad into dip
Now if you're happy as me
Then you must be in hell
But before you abuse, analyze, and accuse me
Drift a mile in my shell

And I drift with the tide
And I'll drift away real soon
I'd rather be a blowfish
Hey that's no charge for the tune
At the bottom of the food chain
I'm right below the spam
Oh I guess I'm just unhappy as a clam


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/10/12 11:21 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Michael,

This sounds so crisp! That home studio is working very well; or rather you're working it very well.

The lyric is quite original. Nice song all the way around. smile

Dottie

Last edited by Dottie; 06/10/12 11:18 AM.
Dottie #963630 06/10/12 02:50 PM
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That is a very creative song. It had me smiling.

"Drift a mile in my shell" very cute lyric as well as the whole concept of being "unhappy as a clam".

Actually, the melody was quite nice and there was a lot of
interesting variation in your music.

Doug


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Michael--

The LOWLY CLAM now has character--THE PRODUCTION IS GREAT--I can see this one becoming a GREAT KIDS song at their level!

Good Luck with this one!

Mackie

Last edited by Mackie H.; 06/10/12 04:53 PM.
Mackie H. #963651 06/10/12 05:24 PM
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they should be proud to take part in a clambake!Cool fun write Mike and i just happened to eat quite a few of his cousins the mighty oysters last night on the half shell.

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Haha, do the Clam, Mike! Great mix. Song sounds quite Broadway, Imo :-)

Kolstad #963724 06/11/12 12:54 AM
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Michael,
This could be a perfect kids show theme song. I can see it now "Cliff the Clam" thinks life is so bad as a clam until he meets a magic mermaid who changes him into whatever other type of sea life he wants. Only to find out in the end that Sea Horses and starfish have their own troubles. And in the he goes back to being a clam but he is now "happy as a clam".
Your only thing Michael keeping you from the hot new kids cartoon series is the word Damn in there. But alas I guess there are only so many words that rhyme with clam . . .


But I digress.
So do you have some significant songwriting chops or what? This is actually stunning. Witty, unexpected, entertaining and an excellent melody. That chorus is killer.
You are very good Michael.

Tom


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Hey Michael,
Kids movie or cartoon seems to be the destination for this one.
Good luck with it.


“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


Dottie #963772 06/11/12 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Dottie
Hi Michael,

This sounds so crisp! That home studio is working very well; or rather you're working it very well.

The lyric is quite original. Nice song all the way around. smile

Dottie


Hi Dottie,

I appreciate the kind words. I feel like a clam, myself, most of the time, so the lyric came easy. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/11/12 06:27 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Doug Buche
That is a very creative song. It had me smiling.

"Drift a mile in my shell" very cute lyric as well as the whole concept of being "unhappy as a clam".

Actually, the melody was quite nice and there was a lot of
interesting variation in your music.

Doug



Haha, "drift a mile in my shell" I deliberated on for a long time -- that's why I apologize to Joe South, cuz though I am protected by the "parody clause" of copyright infringement, I felt weird about taking "yeah before you abuse, criticize and accuse/walk a mile in my shoes" and turning it into what I did...what can I say? My little clam dug the Southpaw... smile

Thanks, Doug!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/11/12 06:32 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Mike,

VERY FRESH SOUNDING/REFRESHING AND CooL


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #963794 06/11/12 11:45 AM
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enjoyable... quite a buffet of sounds

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Jeez, I really feel sorry for clams now Mike! Clever lyrics and solid sounding back-up tracks. The whispery voice pulls the listener in.

Put a smile on my face.

Best, John smile

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What an imagination. your one creative guy.. Disney should come knocking..


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
Louis #963871 06/11/12 10:22 PM
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Enjoyable song full of puns. As a former sax guy, I really liked the tenor sax. The song flowed true from beginning to end. I like the Joe South reference.

Mackie H. #963927 06/12/12 06:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Mackie H.
Michael--

The LOWLY CLAM now has character--THE PRODUCTION IS GREAT--I can see this one becoming a GREAT KIDS song at their level!

Good Luck with this one!

Mackie


Thanks, Mackie!


It might work as an adult cartoon like "Family Guy" cuz this clam is a little jaded, and says "damn" and talks about "makin' love the clam way"...

not that I wouldn't re-write it in a heartbeat, if I actually had a connection, or an inclination towards a kid show...I am totally lost, as to that market.

Thanks, my intention was to give my clam some dignity, and attitude...I appreciate that!

MIke

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/12/12 06:45 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Michael LeBlanc
they should be proud to take part in a clambake!Cool fun write Mike and i just happened to eat quite a few of his cousins the mighty oysters last night on the half shell.


Hi Michael,

Ah yes...self-consciousness and being a clam make strange bedfellows. My clam is destined for a clambake--he's just too damn jaded and smart to enjoy his clammyhood.

Thanks again. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Kolstad #963929 06/12/12 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by the songcabinet
Haha, do the Clam, Mike! Great mix. Song sounds quite Broadway, Imo :-)


Hey Magne,

Well Broadway these days can mean anything from Cole Porter to 'Green Day' so you know...

Actually, I did refrain from 'inner rhymes' in this one, as it would have been too much.

'Do the clam' ...actually, my proudest thing was the "musical pun" of having castanets carry the rhythm section for several bars. Think about what they look like, and you'll understand...

Thanks again,

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Tom Franz #963930 06/12/12 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Tom Franz
Michael,
This could be a perfect kids show theme song. I can see it now "Cliff the Clam" thinks life is so bad as a clam until he meets a magic mermaid who changes him into whatever other type of sea life he wants. Only to find out in the end that Sea Horses and starfish have their own troubles. And in the he goes back to being a clam but he is now "happy as a clam".
Your only thing Michael keeping you from the hot new kids cartoon series is the word Damn in there. But alas I guess there are only so many words that rhyme with clam . . .


But I digress.
So do you have some significant songwriting chops or what? This is actually stunning. Witty, unexpected, entertaining and an excellent melody. That chorus is killer.
You are very good Michael.

Tom



Hi Tom,

There is actually a lot of me in the clam. I always feel like I put my foot in my mouth, so I could relate to a creature that was ALL foot and mouth.

Actually your synopsis for 'Cliff the Clam' looks quite doable. I love "the Point" that Harry Nilsson did the music for, and low tech cartoons like 'Family Guy' ...hmmm...maybe...maybe...now you got me thinking...

Thanks again for the kind words; you know I regard your writing skills with the utmost respect.

Mike



Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Cute, cute, CUTE!!!!

Not a kids song though, lol.

I love these lines...

Now ifyou're happy as me
Then you must be in Hell

Very nicely done.


Musically speaking, it's a good fit for the lyric, sounded right, IMO.



Caroline


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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
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Hi Mike !

Ha Ha Ha --- well I'm smiling right through -- VERY entertaining!

I do remember the earlier listen and all I can say is WOW -- you've out done yourself even and I was always impressed with you mixing, singing, playing, writing, subject, style….etc etc….before

lots to enjoy with repeat listenings as it goes by so fast --- the effects and adds are fun and playful -- the lyric thoughtful and humorous. I REALLY love when the sax enters - Shorter-esk ? - juicy and pleasing. If I tried to break it down for a learning tool - ha - i'd be lost for days….

back to it going by fast …. could stand listening to a slightly slower version sometime… not much --- but my slower thinking brain could stand to wallow more : )

Anyway Applause -- it would be a crowd pleasing even if this were performed live with a full band. Clam Bake anyone?

Peace and Cheers
jm


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fun catchy song!!
I keep 3 seahorses grin

but I don't have a clam.
I think that's actually a scallop in the photo maybe??? LOL
anyway fun - good luck with it - cool wordplay.

smile
L

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Originally Posted by R. Shayne Vaughan
Hey Michael,
Kids movie or cartoon seems to be the destination for this one.
Good luck with it.


Hey Shayne, thanks!

Yeah, a modified version for the kiddies, or as is for the "Family Guy" set...or maybe I'll just sing it, myself, introducing it as "autobiographical" or something, lol...

Thanks again...

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Calvin #964107 06/13/12 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Calvin
Hi Mike,

VERY FRESH SOUNDING/REFRESHING AND CooL


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart



Hi Calvin,

Thank you. smile

"Fresh" ain't easy sometimes, cuz I don't listen to the radio much, and just follow the trail of artists I like...I think there's a trail from Harry Nilsson's "The Point" to this, but sometimes I just don't know where this stuff comes from.

Thanks again... smile

Mike



Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
enjoyable... quite a buffet of sounds


Thanks, Neil, it makes me happy to know you enjoyed the listen. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by John Lawrence Schick
Jeez, I really feel sorry for clams now Mike! Clever lyrics and solid sounding back-up tracks. The whispery voice pulls the listener in.

Put a smile on my face.

Best, John smile


Hey John,

Thanks! Yeah, from years of apartment living and being told to "sush!" I have as bad case of bedroom voice, and I can literally feel my vocal cords tightening up, when I need more volume, cuz a little voice in my head is telling me I'm gonna wake up the neighbors--and this of course is in the middle of the day when no such thing is going to happen. So, I am trying to unlearn that, for those needed louder parts in every song...but you know what is interesting? Brazilian singers. Caetano Veloso, Joao Gilberto, Ellis Regina, Gilberto Gil, etc...They seem to have such amazing control, and passion, that they hit these beautiful high notes with hardly ANY perceptible change in volume, and I find that fascinating, in that it seems to fly in the face of "voice theory."

So, I practice both ways...

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks again...

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/13/12 09:41 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Louis #964111 06/13/12 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Louis
What an imagination. your one creative guy.. Disney should come knocking..


Haha, thanks Louis...I'd settle for something much more low tech and low budget, with an R.Crumb feel to it.

Thanks again,

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by ben willis
Enjoyable song full of puns. As a former sax guy, I really liked the tenor sax. The song flowed true from beginning to end. I like the Joe South reference.


Hey Ben,

Yeah, "walk a mile in my shoes" translates into any 'walk of life' or species of creature...a waiter might say, "serve a mile of dishes in my cummerbund," a caterpillar, "wobble a mile in my fourteen feet" ...caterpillar-waiter, "hey I can serve the entire room in one go!"

Thanks again...

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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A very create and entertaining write.

Excellent arrangement and pro production.

A wonderfully full sound scape.

Well done.

Nelson #964190 06/14/12 01:28 AM
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Michael, thanks for making me smile. Great creativity here... excellent work!

Mike D.

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Hi Mike,

I remember hearing this song before...I thought it was so cleverly written then too! I enjoyed all the witty remarks the clam makes....lol...lines like:

And mussels seem to have the knack
For pickin' up girls

And it’s really fun because he doesn’t even see how clever he is! Some cool rhymes like....sanctum/plankton...it takes a lot of creativity to have those two words work together! lol

It sounds precise in every way and is very pleasing to the ear. The musical change in the bridge is really cool sounding.

I was entertained...you can’t help but smile listening to it!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
Caroline #964234 06/14/12 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Caroline
Cute, cute, CUTE!!!!

Not a kids song though, lol.

I love these lines...

Now ifyou're happy as me
Then you must be in Hell

Very nicely done.


Musically speaking, it's a good fit for the lyric, sounded right, IMO.



I actually had occasion to say that ("if you're as happy as me/then you must be in hell") in real life once...just can't remember...I think...ah...yes...I do believe I was shaving...looking in the mirror... laugh

Thanks again, Caroline,
glad you enjoyed it!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Joice Marie
Hi Mike !

Ha Ha Ha --- well I'm smiling right through -- VERY entertaining!

I do remember the earlier listen and all I can say is WOW -- you've out done yourself even and I was always impressed with you mixing, singing, playing, writing, subject, style….etc etc….before

lots to enjoy with repeat listenings as it goes by so fast --- the effects and adds are fun and playful -- the lyric thoughtful and humorous. I REALLY love when the sax enters - Shorter-esk ? - juicy and pleasing. If I tried to break it down for a learning tool - ha - i'd be lost for days….

back to it going by fast …. could stand listening to a slightly slower version sometime… not much --- but my slower thinking brain could stand to wallow more : )

Anyway Applause -- it would be a crowd pleasing even if this were performed live with a full band. Clam Bake anyone?

Peace and Cheers
jm


Hi Joice,

I actually wrote this to be at about half the speed! It was originally a piece for voice and solo guitar. My Nashville friends would remember.

Yeah, my sax player is rather busy, but it goes with my clam, I think. Kinda clever, perhaps even shallow, no deep thoughts or notes from the sax, just a flurry to keep you a little discombobulated. I always think of Shorter as being more tasteful.

Thank you for the thoughtful comments, Joice. I hope your present isn't depriving you of time to be creative, cuz as creativity goes, you are up there with the mostest. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/14/12 09:36 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Linda Adams
fun catchy song!!
I keep 3 seahorses grin

but I don't have a clam.
I think that's actually a scallop in the photo maybe??? LOL
anyway fun - good luck with it - cool wordplay.

smile
L


Hi Linda,

I would love to keep seahorses in an aquarium that looks like a race track, and then "call the races."

Is that a scallop? LOL....you got me, I just know it was originally orange and I messed with it in Paint Shop, cuz I am not a big fan of orange, for some reason.

Thanks again,

MIke


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Nelson #964238 06/14/12 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Nelson
A very create and entertaining write.

Excellent arrangement and pro production.

A wonderfully full sound scape.

Well done.


Thanks Nelson,

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Michael Downing
Michael, thanks for making me smile. Great creativity here... excellent work!

Mike D.


Hey Mike D,

Ah! Smiles are good. smile

Songwriters and musicians have lived on less!

I appreciate your listening and nice comments, Mike, thanks again.

Mike Z


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Hi Mike,

I remember hearing this song before...I thought it was so cleverly written then too! I enjoyed all the witty remarks the clam makes....lol...lines like:

And mussels seem to have the knack
For pickin' up girls

And it’s really fun because he doesn’t even see how clever he is! Some cool rhymes like....sanctum/plankton...it takes a lot of creativity to have those two words work together! lol

It sounds precise in every way and is very pleasing to the ear. The musical change in the bridge is really cool sounding.

I was entertained...you can’t help but smile listening to it!

Kristi


Hi Kristi,

And I remember one of your nice comments from before, something something "...and he's a clever little guy"

I am probably in a class of very few, to rhyme "plankton" at all...Unless there is a Jacques Cousteau musical floating around, out there..

Yeah my clam doesn't know he's clever, yet he's not exactly humble...I guess the word is jaded? He's a jaded clam, then, yes!

You are always so generous and thoughtful with your comments, and I appreciate that, Kristi.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Well, it's about time that someone shines a little light on the clam - surely one of the most under-appreciated of creatures grin

LOL - this is great, Mike. Yeah, I can easily see it in a children's program too. In fact, I think it's so good that a children's program could be structured around it.

Great to see you back with one - sorry it took me so long to get around to listening to it.

Scott

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Michael,

Loved the chorus on this, the lyric is so clever and your phrasing on this is very good as well, great production and a great listen!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




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Hi Michael,

I love it, especially getting scallopy in the chorus! I really enjoyed the production. It seemed like you were getting a bit of hissing on the esses. Other than that, it is very enjoyable. Stand out lyrics!

Nice job,
Danny


The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing of." —Blaise Pascal, 1670

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