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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 79
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 79 |
A song of understanding.
Tell It To The Wind
It was written in the stars outside of Boulder Down a road as broken as the dreams they both had shared A rusted Chevy parked halfway on the shoulder The headlights showing all the June bugs in the glare
Two miles down the road a girl was walking The gun still hanging from her hand as she staggered along The bruises showed what happens if you just try talking And the silence told her that she didn’t do anything wrong
Tell it to the wind Let the mountains know your anger Let the rivers drown your loneliness and pain Tell it to the wind There’ll be sympathy with strangers And their shadows will protect you from the rain
When they left Atlanta he swore he’d be doing some changing He’d get a steady job and he wouldn’t ever hit her again But the whiskey told him that the plan needed re-arranging She felt the baby kicking but she didn’t bother telling him
Tell it to the wind Let the mountains know your anger Let the rivers drown your loneliness and pain Tell it to the wind There’ll be sympathy with strangers And their shadows will protect you from the rain Instrumental Bridge: They were just outside of town He’d been throwing her around She thought about the baby And then she thought about the gun She pulled it from the dash She was blinded by the flash She gathered up her purse And didn’t even think to run
Tell it to the wind Let the mountains know your anger Let the rivers drown you loneliness and pain Tell it to the wind There’ll be sympathy with strangers And their shadows will protect you from the rain (c)Billy Ray Jarrell2003
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6 |
Hi arjay I think this progresses really well. I have no real nits. I think the meter could be tidied up a little but I’m sure that could easily be sorted when the music is written. I like the “whiskey” line Nice work Nige
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 394
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 394 |
arjay, I think I've only commented on one other song that was written about an abused woman and that was because I feel that most songs about abused people are written by people who have never lived that kind of life....I don't know if you have, but I have and I think this song is perfect...it explains the sadness and the anger...I can almost SEE this girl walking down the road with a gun and no expression on her face... I think the fact that you bring the whole "I'm going to change I promise" part of the relationship into the song is great.
I only have one nit...I would like to see you add two more lines to the chorus...something like And you'll be somewhere you've never been if you, Tell it to the wind
....I just think that it's a great hook and you should really drive it home!! I hope to be able to hear this put to music someday.... Best to you, Mary
------------------ Go Big or Go Home
[This message has been edited by Mary Gardner (edited 05-23-2003).]
Go Big or Go Home
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 344
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 344 |
Wow...strong, powerful, and startling in its simplicity. Very nicely done! Jaden ------------------ http://www.geocities.com/kitty_caliente :PLEASE VISIT MY WEBPAGE! ATTENTION TO THOSE IN THE GREATER KANSAS CITY AREA: Please contact me if you are interested in a local chapter. Thanks!!
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