Who's Online Now
10 members (couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,251 guests, and 265 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Here's a level 2 Demo for the long distance co-write between MArc Barnette and me. Any and all comments are welcome


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1103122&songID=11472530


This second link was for a previous faster version as requested

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1103122&songID=11233255


That’s My Mom
@2011 Marc BArnette/Roger Sosnowski

Verse 1

She’s a bonafide,certified,super hero
In a flash each morning, goes to sixty from zero
A voice like thunder when she says get out of bed
Pulls together a breakfast from nothing in the fridge
Dresses three people never misses a beat
Her Prada business suit turns everyone’s heads
At her office they depend on her
Could never pay her what she deserves

Chorus

That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
That’s my mom

Verse 2

It’s kind of tiring when all you hear
Is you two could be, twin sisters
One part mother, two parts therapist
When guys come around and want a ride
It’s her they always want to sit beside
You ask how long you’ve gotta put up with this
when my first real love Billy broke my heart
She was there to hold me in her arms

Chorus

That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
That’s my mom

Bridge
I look at her, and I see me
I hope that apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree

Chorus
That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
Ohh that’s my mom
That’s my mom

Last edited by RogerS; 03/02/12 07:44 PM.

Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Hey Marc and Roger,
Love the demo the singer and most of the lyrics.

One spot could be improved, IMO:

It’s kind of tiring when all you hear
Is you two could be, twin sisters


Rhyming hear with sisters is a long stretch, even for a near rhyme.


“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
Z
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Z
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
A lot different than my version for sure. It works...feels a little more old style country than modern, even at this meter. I think my version had more oomph and was more relevant to today's country market.

Not sour grapes Rog, although Marc's lack of ANY acknowledgement, good or bad, on my version left me a bit cold. Good luck with it.

Zeek

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
I think it's a rocking tune.

I like the sentiment.


Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Roger,

I can't understand why this melody got slowed down. When you look at the very first verse, there are words in there that almost lead me to the song "9 to 5" (just my opinion)

Words and phrases like:

Super Hero
flash
sixty to zero
thunder
pulls together
turns everybody's head
depend


All more action and excitement words when you look at them as a whole, so I am not convinced this should drag.

The melody in the chorus now has the two middle lines being sung exactly the same which stagnates the chorus and it just doesn't flow for my ears.

"I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids"
"She’s right more times than I like to admit"


Changing the line "never misses a beat" to "simultaneously" makes sense, a little tricky, but it doesn't get pulled off by the singer.

The keyboard sound at the intro is not pleasing to my ears, just my own personal opinion.

I think aiming this song to a younger crowd sort of suited the lyric (as I understand it), but every song means something different to each person, that is just my opinion based on your words.

It is a very nice write for sure Roger.

Tammy

Last edited by TamsNumber4; 02/29/12 07:13 PM.

http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Shayne,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Glad you liked it for the most part. Those rhymes are stretching it a bit I admit but still sounded kinda cool we thought. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
YOUALL--

HAS A GOOD TEMPO--KINDA OLD SCHOOL--IT NEEDS A KICK ASS TELE AND SASSY DRUMS WITH A WALKIN ALL OVER MR BASS--TO KEEP UP WITH HER--SOUNDS LIKE A BARBARA MANDRELL SONG--

CH
I'D TRY:
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
FIND SHE'S ON-THE-MONEY MORE THAN I'D admit

GOOD LUCK

MACKIE

Last edited by Mackie H.; 03/01/12 06:02 PM.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
R
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
The song is still good but the target audience is ??? I absolutely think the last version that had a faster tempo would appeal to a younger audience then this one would. To me this one seems like the one for the moms to listen too and hope that their daughters feel this way!!!

Ricky

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
"
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
HiDee Ski & Marc...Pretty Good CoWrite, Amigos!

I'd prolly like it more with maybe One-Couplet-Less in each Verse...they seem Long..and so does the Chorus, which gets-away-with-it because it's So-Loveable.

Good Demo..Hats-Off to the Band/Gal Singer sounded sincere too.

Good Luck with a Good'n' Gents!

Best Wishes & Big Guys Hugs too,
Stan

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
Z
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Z
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
How about posting both version and see what people think? They've probably forgotten the first version I did w/Ricky and Tammy...

Zeek

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Roger, I'll focus just on the lyrics. One main observation plus a small one. KOS, of course. wink

Donna

That’s My Mom
@2011 Marc BArnette/Roger Sosnowski

Verse 1

She’s a bonafide,certified,super hero
In a flash each morning, goes to sixty from zero
A voice like thunder when she says get out of bed
Pulls together a breakfast from nothing in the fridge
Dresses three people never misses a beat
Her Prada business suit turns everyone’s heads This line was a stumbling block for me, since that wonderful line 4 sets the scene up for being one where the family is maybe living hand to mouth, but there's this fantastic hardworking mom who manages to hold things together. Hence, sudden mention of Prada suit introduces a totally different element and wrenches me right out of the 'feel' of first part of the lyrical story. At this point, I began to simply not care much about what happens in the rest. Would you consider re-thinking these last 3 lines? Even just changing line 6 & 7. Just a thought. wink An empty fridge doesn't collate with the image of a woman who can afford a Prada suit.
At her office they depend on her
Could never pay her what she deserves

I'm with Stan re the couplets. The verses go on too long (for me), and kind of peter out at the end. Feels like too many details being crammed in.

Chorus

That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
That’s my mom

Verse 2

It’s kind of tiring when all you hear
Is you two could be, twin sisters
One part mother, two parts therapist
When guys come around and want a ride
It’s her they always want to sit beside
You ask how long you’ve gotta put up with this
when my first real love Billy broke my heart Lines 7 & 8 could be dropped and take nothing away from what's gone before. Or you could replace other lines with lines 7 & 8.
She was there to hold me in her arms

Chorus

That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
That’s my mom

Bridge
I look at her, and I see me
I hope that apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree

Chorus
That’s my mom
Where I come from
I’ll probably be just like her with my own kids
She’s right more times than I like to admit
Sometimes we fight
But most times she’s the bomb
Ohh that’s my mom
That’s my mom
[/quote]


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
R
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
Roger,

I second Zeeks proposal more out of curiosity than anything else. Obviously we would be a little biased!!!

Ricky

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891
Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891
Likes: 6
Hi Roger

This is a sweet song and I really like the chorus. Arrangement is fine.

The problem I have is how old the voice is (or supposed to be). The “That’s My Mom” chorus would work great for a kid but then some of the verse words are too grown up e.g. bonafide,certified, therapist etc– so that would put the voice as an adult yet in the first verse there’s stuff about ‘Dresses three people’ which implies the family (possibly the voice) is very young. So I think it’s a very nice song but a have a little doubt about the plausibility of the voice.

Nige

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Zeek,

Here's what happened. After your version of the song I went back to MArc and wanted to do the next level up demo. I mentioned that I liked your version--at least the guitar parts, better. marc insisted that we go with his "vision" for a demo. I went along with it because his name is on the song anyways. That being said--I think this is a bit slower than I wanted. I mentioned that to Marc and he did cut a faster version --but the quality of the demo was a lot worse so I kept this version. My feeling is if any artist wanted to take the song on they could always speed it up or change it as they saw fit. If it's any consolation I did like your version better. Marc is a well established veteran in the Nashville scene--so I chose not to try and go against what he was suggesting. Thanks for your input. Take care
Roger

P.S. I did add the link for the faster version--it's directly under the original link.


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
The keyboard sound didn't work for me but I think the mix was better.
The vocalist seemed to stumble over some of the lyric in the faster version and the vocal seemed detached. Maybe needed the same reverb that the instruments had or something like that.
So I suppose I preferred the faster version instrumental wise but the vocal on the slower version sat better.
Vic

Last edited by Vicarn; 03/03/12 04:02 PM.

It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Hi Roger,

I'm not trying to bust anyones bubble here but just the lyric alone calls for it to be faster (in my opinion). You know super mom running around fast, fast.

I'm not sold on "prada" and her going to the office because this is about MOM what all mom does so to me mom means what all she does at home so I think that part needs to be changed. smile

It is a very good song! smile

Dottie

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235
IMO Marc's demo presents the song better, but it's got a few rough parts... The tune needs to be pitched a few steps lower for this singer.. she's really struggling in spots.

I like the original melody for "I come from". I appreciate the exact melodic mirror in the new version, but I think it may be too simplistic... (Can't believe I said that - I'm always telling folks to do exactly what you've done! - the original melody just seems more musical in this case).

As a piano player, I notice there's a pretty good piano hook... but it's buried. Bumping the volume of the piano where it plays the instrumental hook might add interest.

I dunno about 'she's the bomb'. I work with a lot of 20 somethings and I never hear them say that anymore.

Nevertheless, I understand why you've invested in this tune. It's really strong. Very nice tune and very heartwarming.

Peace,

Ian


Soundclick http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrin
Soundclick2 http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrininstrumentals

'Hammers don't build houses. People build houses' - Me

What happened before the big bang? What's the universe expanding into? Did you know the speed of gravity is the speed of light?
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Nelson,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Glad you liked it. Looks like I have a lot of feedback to leave. Will have more time later this weekend,lol Take care,
Roger

Last edited by RogerS; 03/03/12 04:36 PM.

Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Tammy,
thanks for giving this a listen and for your honest comments. To tell you the truth I agree with your comments about it being faster. I went with a judgement call from MArc Barnette--I figured he is on the scene and has been for 30 years--so he made the call on tempo and the keyboard sound. not sure I would have gone with either but it's all set and done for now. I suppose an artist if they wanted to do the song could always speed it up as they see fit. I was wanting to get something pitchable-at least quality wise speaking--and I think we accomplished that. time will tell. Thanks and take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,574
Cal Offline
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,574
Hi Roger-

Really like the ideas. Great Mother's Day song.

I've heard the song and read the comments.
I agree with making a few lyrical changes.
Also, removing any extraneous words which are
impeding the flow of the lyric in places.

I love the piano and organ.
Real nice chord changes- pro composing.
The melody and lyric SOAR in the choruses...
This build up really makes the tune memorable,
and is always recommended if one is trying to write a HIT song.

~C~

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Roger, thank you, that was kind of you to post a link to the faster version.

I would like to make it known that I was used as a place-holder in this song and to give the idea of what a softer voice (possibly more youthful sounding) would sound like, I am not a professional singer or even a very good singer, this was done to allow Zeek to present his melody idea which I personally really liked, so don't worry about comparing vocals, this is about the melody and it was very kind of Roger to include both versions.

Dottie girl, I love you, but I grew up with a hard working mom and my best friend is a business woman who is a fab mom, and I think girls admire thier mom's for what they do and are inspired by them, there are all kinds of moms....just my opinion...

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Hi Roger,

Great song!

I have to go with that upbeat version and those strong vocals seeem to me to be more in tune with todays market.

The slower music sounds real nice, the singer resembles Reba(that's awesome) and the slower versions seems it would appeal to country listeners, but not so much to what todays generation wants to hear.

Great song though, both versions. I'm just partial to the other one!

Geneva

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Mackie,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Good suggestions on the instruments--unfortunately I ran out of money and had to settle for a level 2 demo--one step below the real deal,lol. Glad you liked it for the most part. take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Ricky,

Thanks for weighing in on this one. I tend to agree with you about the faster tempo being more modern and for a younger artists. After talking it over with Marc --he said he went with the slower tempo because if you are pitching to young artists the faster the tempo the harder it is for them to enunciate the words correctly. I guess this comes in to play more for younger artists--I'm just the messenger on this one but that was the reasoning behind the slower tempo. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,574
Cal Offline
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,574
Hi Folks-
I just listened to the fast version.
Seems to grab on to me and stay with me more than the slow version. Its negligible to me what audience, which version would appeal to the most, but the faster version in my humble opinion would reach a wider audience best. One thing that both songs are missing is;

The beat/rhythm is the same in both the verses and the choruses....
Lacks a dynamical change between parts.
(Don't confuse this rhythm change with with the the song speed/tempo).

Refering to the slow version:
Its hard hearing the bass parts clearly but, one could use whole notes on the bass part in the 1st verse, and half notes for the bass part in the 1st chorus. One could also use 8th notes in a gt riff and on the high hat for the 1st chorus.

Then, in the 2nd verse use half notes on the bass part; quarter notes bass part 2nd chorus. You can add 16ths on the high hats in the last chorus...

Any way one chooses, use a different beat/rhythm in the verses from the choruses. If you want to get tricky, use a different time signature from verse to chorus, even a 3rd in the bridge.

Go to my soundclick site and listen to the bass, and piano parts, and snare accents in the verses, and then the rhythm changes of those instuments in the choruses. Also the added piano accents in the last verse in;
THAT OLD HILLBILLY SONG. One can feel the dynamics.
Simple tool but almost mandatory in writing a HIT song.

BTW-
Quote

After talking it over with Marc --he said he went with the slower tempo because if you are pitching to young artists the faster the tempo the harder it is for them to enunciate the words correctly.

I feel it doesn't matter what age group sings the song;
if one can sing and if the lyric fits the melody,(the music)
the words should flow effortlessly.

~C~

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
I have always been fond of Mom songs and you both have penned a good one. the true apron string was our umbilical cord, and when it was cut, we were left with a reminder of where we came from, a button sewn with love on our bellies. I enjoyed this one~~~MFB III

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Howdy Stan,

Thanks for checkin this one out. Glad you liked it for the most part. I wanted to write a song that put mom's on a pedestal --and the idea came from a conversation I overheard in a restaurant. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi There Zeek,

Both versions are up for comparison. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
RogerS Offline OP
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Donna,


Thanks for taking your time to go through this one. I do appreciate it. The thing about the empty fridge--is not so much about them being poor as it is about them being on the go. here's an example. My daughter is a very successful teacher for children that are cognitively impaired. Her and her husband and daughter are lways on th ego and mostly order in meals or go out. So their fridge is pretty empty. So the prada suit--office scene--fridge-is all about a modern day mom, bringing ho,e the bacon and being on the go. The lines about her being there the first time her daughter heart was broken--was to show that even though the mother is caught up in a modern day busy life style--she still puts her daughter first and is there when she needs her.

As far as re-writing--I'm pretty much out fo money on this one, and a re-write would mean another demo--which I can't swing unfortunately. Not sure MArc would go for it anyways,lol. If it was just up to me and I could redo the music--I would consider it. Thanks again for all your suggestions. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5