Who's Online Now
5 members (couchgrouch, rpirone, Guy E. Trepanier, Gavin Sinclair, 1 invisible), 928 guests, and 249 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Can you save me from me
by David Gill - 03/26/24 07:16 PM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Stuck Here At The Light
by David Gill - 03/21/24 10:40 AM
Because Easter bunny...
by David Gill - 03/21/24 09:44 AM
"I Miss You, Baby"
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/21/24 08:39 AM
"I Miss You, Baby"
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/21/24 08:39 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,989
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,125
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,210
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,118
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,031
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#948242 03/02/12 11:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
J
joewatt Offline OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
J
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
vs
You don't have to stare at the sun to go blind
You don't need to be crazy,to go out of your mind
You don't have to have a heart to break one
You don't need to have a choice to make one
vs
You don't have to be worried,to show your concern
You don't need to be stupid,to be willing to learn
You don't have to be in love to lose it
You don't need to own a yacht,to cruise it

Chorus:
All you need is an imagination
To expand your universe
All you need is an imagination
To help you get what you deserve

vs
You don't have to fall in a river to drown
You don't need someone to die,to feel down
You don't have to be asleep to wake up
You don't need to fall apart to break up
vs
You don't have to prove anything to me
You don't need to be shackled,to know you're not free
You don't have to laugh in the face of danger
Or give your heart to a complete stranger

Chorus:
All you need is an imagination
To expand your universe
All you need is an imagination
To help you get what you deserve


Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Hi Joe,

Neat! I think my favorites are:

"you don't have to have a heart to break one"
"you don't have to be asleep to wake up"

I'm wondering whether the chorus should pack more of a message. I'm not sure what but don't get mad at me because:

you don't have to have any good ideas to post a song critique

Laughing...

Lisa




Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
UK JOE--

THIS IS A GOOD ONE--MAY EVEN BE BETTER IN FIRST PERSON

I CAN IMAGINE
MY WHOLE UNIVERSE
IN MY MIND
IT'S WHAT I DESERVE


WRITE ON--

Mackie

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,256
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,256
Morning, Joe!

Hey, there are some really cool, thought-provoking lines scattered all throughout this piece. I agree with Lisa, though, in that I think the chorus is sort of a let down after reading the verses.

I don't have any real ideas for you at the moment, but I don't feel that the chorus really supports whatever message you're trying to get across. It's really tantalizing, but just needs a little something more to help the lyric pack the wallop it's crying for.

I think you're on to something here. Good luck with it!

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
T
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
T
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
All you need is an imagination
A CLOSED MIND CAN BE A CURSE
All you need is an imagination
IF YOU WANT IT, IT CAN BE YOURS
Just a thought Joe. Good lyric


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 98
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 98
Hey Joe (sorry - Hendrix fan here!)

Like it!! Verses are really well written & structured. I also liked Mackie's suggestion re: first person angle. Alt. lyrics below just for reference.

Chorus:
All I need is MY imagination
To OPEN UP MY universe
All I need is MY imagination
To help MYSELF
WHEN THINGS CAN’T GET WORSE

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481
Likes: 1
Hi Joe,

Very cool idea for a song. I also agree with Greg--the chorus needs a little "somethin" to bring it home. Can't put my finger on it.. Gotta think a bit more. Overall pretty cool one. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
morning joe.

great message throughout and a fun read.

great job!

douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Hey Joe,
Quite thought provoking! Good luck with it. --Shayne


“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
J
joewatt Offline OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
J
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Hey Lisa
Thanks for the reply,I think my fav line is the "heart to break one",I am extremely offended by your veiled insult of my chorus(lol). I think if you heard it,you'd agree it works pretty well.

Cheers
Joe

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
J
joewatt Offline OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
J
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Hey Mackie
Glad you liked it,I've tried singing it in the first person before and it just doesn't work.

Take it easy
U.K.Joe



Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
J
joewatt Offline OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
J
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Hey Greg,Travis,CathyW,RogerS,Douglas,and Shayne
Thanks for your kind comments. It seems I'm in a minority re: the chorus,so I'll rethink that, of the suggestions so far I think I like cathy's best. thanks again for your time.

Peace
Joe


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,714
Posts1,160,942
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5