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#944544 - 02/07/12 04:45 PM Cute Music Theory Joke  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Mike Dunbar Offline
Mike Dunbar  Offline


JPF Mentor

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Nashville Tennessee
A buddy of mine forwarded this in an email:

Minor triad goes into a bar...the WHOLE story:

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. ...The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.


You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash

It's only music.
-niteshift

Mike Dunbar Music

#944551 - 02/07/12 05:47 PM Re: Cute Music Theory Joke [Re: Mike Dunbar]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
Very clever......may I add my fav bar jokes.

A guy staggers out of a bar after a fight.... he has multiple bruises on his face.....and has left four guys lying flattened on the floor .....proving that there are four beats in a bar.

A guy dressed up as a kangaroo goes into a bar and the barman says is this a joke?

#944568 - 02/07/12 08:15 PM Re: Cute Music Theory Joke [Re: BIG JIM MERRILEES]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Mike Dunbar Offline
Mike Dunbar  Offline


JPF Mentor

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Nashville Tennessee
I like them, Jim. My favorite bar joke is meant to be heard not read.

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where is the bartender?"

Also there's a bass player joke I wrote years ago.

Did you hear the one about the bass player who walked into a bar?


You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash

It's only music.
-niteshift

Mike Dunbar Music

#944644 - 02/08/12 07:00 AM Re: Cute Music Theory Joke [Re: Mike Dunbar]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
My all time fav music jokes...sorry not bar related but very funny if you are a musician with gigging experience.

The band lug huge PA system into the bar and set up the largest ammount of gear ever seen. The barmen says it is a lot of gear for this tiny bar I hope you guys are not going to be too loud.....OH no says the guitarist it is not for loudness but for quality......after the first song the barmen wanders over...son could you turn down the quality.

After a violent storm a mermaid is washed up on a beach. Totally exhausted she tries to get back into the water but is stranded. As a desperate measure she takes out her harp and starts to play a distress call so other merfolk can come and rescue her. Meanwhile a guitarist hears the harp. He wanders over and asks if he can help. Thanks very much I will be very grateful. So he grabs the harp and starts tweaking the pegs... after a few minutes he hands back the harp....there you go all fixed and he walks away....you know those strings were way way out.
Moral...... when the chips are down never rely on a guitarist.

#944674 - 02/08/12 01:31 PM Re: Cute Music Theory Joke [Re: BIG JIM MERRILEES]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Mike Dunbar Offline
Mike Dunbar  Offline


JPF Mentor

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
Nashville Tennessee
Funny stuff, Jim. Hey, tell me: if a band is playing in the forest and there is no club owner around to hear them, are they still too loud?


You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash

It's only music.
-niteshift

Mike Dunbar Music

#944711 - 02/08/12 04:40 PM Re: Cute Music Theory Joke [Re: Mike Dunbar]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
Mike I would not know...BUT...there must be a good reason why they are playing in the forest...I know a lot of bands that should always play in a forest....and some that should not play anywhere.


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