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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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There are far greater depths where one's soul often sinks,
when the brain cells all starve and can no longer think,
where a writer too often is left on the brink,
to abandon such tasks and be gone in a blink.
Coining phrases and yet never gaining coined praise,
penning unpublished works till the end of their days,
where their reach exceeds any success they will grasp,
yet they'll still sing unheard songs with their dying gasp.
The music that calls them to capture its beauty,
is often illusion bidding them to their duty
to pen masterpieces that they truly believe in,
songs the masses of listeners simply are not percieving
To work and re-work a tune till is is beaten
always looking for some hook or note that'll sweeten,
the hit that becomes just a smack in the face,
till their muse comes around with new songs to embrace.
I know, I have staggered down despairs darkest alleys,
finding cardboard boxed dreams where failures are tallied
homeless wraithes near the back doors of studio rejections,
scarred in red ink that tattoos their great imperfections.
The first one hundred songs that you write, truth be told
are just practice, mostly efforts that will never be sold,
oh, so many good songwriters fail to control,
all their screams, meant as whispers that pour from their soul.
But my muse is a demon, a cruel workaholic,
and I'll not be a free man till I craft songs that frolic
in the ears of producers seeking something that rocks
as I fail each exam in their schools of hard knocks.
So it's back to the sound boards and my faithful guitar,
like a miner seeking gold with only dust in his jar,
till the right combination brings sensations in song,
where each note is important,and nothing's played worng
then I'll reach that bright stage where I truly belong.
ArtWhimsically Yours studio
MFB III Productions-(c)-2012
[/size]
Last edited by MFB III; 01/22/12 04:18 AM.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
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Hey MFB,
This is a hit with me that won't smack you in the face!!! Anyone here has got to love the honesty in this one!
I must say that your muse IS a workaholic. Mine's a lazier sort that sort of kicks back and watches yours sweat- LOL!
Lisa
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570
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This is wordsmithing at it's finest, on a way, way familiar topic. Pam
Never think can't do - think how to
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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I think you've been reading my mind MFB! Even though I'm on a writers block week at the moment Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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What truth that be's!You hit the nail on the head MFB!I like a lyric that makes me drag the dictionary out [bucolic],not MY everyday word.Cool one Matt
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Joined: Jul 2010
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MFB, You write old school poetry and lyrics. The kind of stuff that could come out of a time capsule. This one captures the despair of the tortured artist who ends up like "the miner seeking gold with only dust in his jar." Keep 'em coming.
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Hey Lisa, Pam, Michael, Travis and Dan...wow that sounds like a band...thanks for the read, this one just came bursting out of me in the wee hours....half rant, maybe a song, but from the heart for sure. ~~~~MFB III
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 454
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AWESOME! one of my favs I have read by you
Aaron Johnson
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
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MFB--
THIS IS A GREAT LYRIC--
MFB YOU WRITE DEEP FROM YOUR CAT-BIRD SEAT YOUR PEN FLOWS FREE PAINTING THOSE PICTURES CAPTURED IN POETRY
WRITE ON--
Mackie
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HiDee Brother Matt!
I like the never-give-up Optimism in this one, Amigo...& the Dedication to Hard Work inherent herein.
But..that "first hundred songs" mention's not a Truism... I enjoyed chatting with Susan Gibson at the first JPF Awards Show I attended...& "Wide Open Spaces" was the 24th song she ever wrote.
So...alas for all of us Other Less-Luckies, it CAN happen early in a Writer's Career....& some of it's just Dumb Luck...(Or Dumb GREAT Luck...if ya check out Wikipedia & see how Susan Did It.)
Jimmy Buffett got his butt kicked in Nashville for YEARS...was bombing-out in L.A. 'till "Come Monday" launched HIS career..(But give a listen to THOSE lyrics..eh?)..& that Stick-to-itiveness Finally Paid-Off. ('Heard he was SO broke he sold the Master to that song for $5K...)
So...as you've done & continue to do, Stick To It, Amigo...(Tho I doubt that Johnny 6-Pack WILL Google-Search "Bucolic" & the more Erudite Ya Get, the more listeners you'll lose, JMO.)
I particularly like..& can identify..with V2. (Tho I'll tease ya by mentioning you typoed "their"...in it..tsk-tsk!)
I think, Overall, that Music..Commercial Music, is a Business where it takes equal parts Talent, Incredible Luck, and Perseverance...PLUS the Ability to Forever "Top" your last success..to be what passes for a Big Success in it.
It's frankly less-frustrating to be a Small Success...& pen for Your Personal Pleasure... (& frankly, IF I was an "aspiring songwriter", I'd sure be studying Rap/Hip-Hop/Trance lyrics...since that's where the money is these days...) ;-)>
A Fine Poetic Lament..of sorts..Ya Got Here, Amigo....Toughie to Sing, methinks, yet there's a Lot of Great Tips and Sticktoitivness Throughout. Good Luck with it...& The Career, Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Hey Aaron, Mackie and Stan, thanks for the read, loved the poem Mackie, Stan you make good points but the majority of folks pursuing songwriting have too write a lot of frogs before the find the prince-ipal in their music. Aaron glad you liked it~~~~MFB III
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Joined: Apr 2010
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A very well crafted lyric and full of truth with a hint of optimism.
Cheers Joe
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Joined: Nov 2010
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There ought to be a hall of fame for brave attempts. Vic
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Hey Joe and Vicarn thanks for the comments, the song is painful and still without a chorus, I have to take some of the best lines and make them the chorus, the market for it is limited, so I may just leave it as a message for my fellow and female songwriters. ~~~ MFB III
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Joined: Jul 2010
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MFB,
This is a beautiful write full of truth. I especially like the lines of the first verse. You have penned another wonderful, and honest write.
Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Again, and for the second time today, I am floored by your writing MFBIII.
This really sums up what we are doing here at JPF. I write and sing for myself and for others when the occassion arises and struggle with most every lyric.
This "passion" we have here and share cannot be satisfied it seems and that no sooner, or sometimes at the same time, another lyric comes our way.
Don't know if I will ever be a success at this, other then the personal success I feel when I pen one I truly love, but I do know that for now I cannot stop.
Thanks for sharing.
Douglas
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Joined: Jul 2011
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You know you're amazing, right? I hope so.
Okay. You may not get this reference, but you remind me of Max Bemis, but like an early 1900s version. I love it. Old style poetry mixed with a new world cleverness. Gah. Love.
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Wow, Doug, Jen and Meg...Thanks for such nice comments, and from some talented writers as well. There is no illusions when it comes to friends and fellow peers enjoying each others thoughts, it's all real and oh, so beautiful. Thanks again~~~~MFB III
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