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Joined: Jul 2010
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I first posted this as a YouTube slide show in the video forum. Every time I listened to it, it sounded worse. So I'm taking another swing at it. It still sounds crappy on my laptop speakers. It's better on headphones. I'm looking for feedback on the recording. I'm limited musically but I'm trying to get a good enough recording of the song to be able to post it on some postal websites. I'm hoping to tap into the expert ears of the musicians and writers here. So any feedback, especially pointing out things I've overlooked or not noticed is welcome. Sparkplug Bill's Last Run Sparkplug Bill's Last Run copyright 2011 Dan Sullivan Keying on the Flying Dutchman Sorting through the night Sparkplug Bill, a postal clerk, Was fighting for his life The sad stare in his eyes revealed A life too quickly old Too many letters in too short a time Had flashed past his console No warm words consoled him No words at all prevailed There was nothing but a constant roar And a steady stream of mail As machine and man struggled In uneasy unison No one knew that Sparkplug Bill Was making his last run Sparkplug Bill, Oh Sparkplug Bill Hey foreman ring the bell Load another tray of mail On the ledge for Sparkplug Bill The zero bin was filled with mail From console number four Where the little hands of Sparkplug Bill Lay still at the keyboard The foreman pulled an edit And he cursed beneath his breath As he spied the sleepy figure With his head slumped on his chest Sparkplug Bill, Oh Sparkplug Bill Hey foreman ring the bell Load another tray of mail On the ledge for Sparkplug Bill With an edit in his hand The foreman lifted Billy's head Then he called for a relief clerk For Sparkplug Bill was dead There was no time to grieve for him The mail could not be slowed He was only a sparkplug Who died at his console Sparkplug Bill, Oh Sparkplug Bill Hey foreman ring the bell Load another tray of mail On the ledge for Sparkplug Bill
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941 Likes: 3
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I am not sure if I commented on the first version -- but I know I liked it. The playback quality does have some issues I think. The guitar is wavering like it is running on tape that is speeding and slowing up (ha, ha). I am not sure what to suggest to fix it. I am sure the original tracks sound fine, so you just need to re-mix and test that out put.
It is an interesting story -- I am not sure postal management would care for it too much!! Keep "plugging" away, you are carrying on for Woody Guthrie.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Hi Dan. Are you playing a keyboard or have you got a lot of effects like flanger or phaser on the guitar? It's hard to tell without knowing what you're playing and what sound you are aiming at. Vic
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Kevin, I'm trying to figure out this Logic Express 9. The wavering on the guitar was some effect. Thanks for the input.
Vicarn, There's the guitar with the effect. I tried that to hide my choppy playing. Then there's a few keyboard parts like the bass, piano and organ. Plus a small dose of harmonica. The sound I'm aiming for is probably more rhythmic and clean, kinda 70s folkie, country. I can't play lead guitar, so that's out. Thanks for having a look at it.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
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Hey Dan: It's a cool song and a good story. I don't get all the lingo but, given your target audience, I'm sure they will As for the music, I liked the vocals, bass part, and percussion just fine. I think maybe if the guitar part was acoustic, it would be there. It might be acoustic now but the effects tend to make it sound electric. Really, I think if you get the guitar sound right, it's good to go. Scott
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Scott, Thanks for the input. Your comments on the guitar part makes a lot of sense and I'm going to try it that way.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Hi Dan, I can’t really comment on the musical aspects of this (though it does sound good to my untrained ears) but I think you’ve written a very fine story lyric. Dottie
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19
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Joined: Jul 2011
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Hey there Dan....Good song!! I like what scott suggested about the acoustic guitar. Good "stuff"................-Tom
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Dottie and Cognac, Thanks for listening and commenting. The story line's an old one, as old as John Henry's battle against the machine. Older in fact. I just put a new spin on it.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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Love the tale of the common man told in an uncommon way, lovely write Dan.~~~~MFB III
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Joined: Jul 2010
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MFB, Thanks for checking this one out and the compliment on it.
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